The Queen of the Koopas
by Walkazo
Summary: After taking a nasty fall, Bowser is forced to look back on how he fell in love, and how Mario tore his family apart.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer****: I don't own **_**Mario**_**, the plots featured in the series' games, nor the characters and most of the locations mentioned. I do own the name and portrayal of Bowser's wife in this fic, both of which I came up with years ago (before I ever heard of fanfiction. net), along with a few other minor OCs (i.e. Bowser's parents, who's names **_**aren't**_** original). So, if any of my characters or plot devises are similar to ones you came up with and/or published, it's not my fault.**

**Author's Note****: Like many **_**Mario**_** fans, I've often dwelt on Bowser's murky family life, and since 2006, I've spent a lot of my time making up a nice convoluted backstory for both the Koopas and their elusive Queen. This fic encompasses or addresses much of it. It was originally published in 2007, and has been continually revised as I continue to alter and expand my version of the Marioverse. The current version was proofed in the summer of 2010, in honor of the impending completion of the final story of the **_**Super Koopa**_** trilogy, to which **_**The Queen of the Koopas**_** is the prequel.**

**Rated T for violence and minor sexuality.**

The Queen of the Koopas

"Here we are! Home sweet home, doncha think Princess?"

"Ugh, for the last time, NO!"

It was a day like any other in Koopa Castle as Bowser jovially marched through the main hallway with Princess Peach in tow. After being kidnapped hundreds of times over the last few years on almost a weekly basis, Peach had grown quite used to the whole affair. No longer did she scream herself hoarse on the flight from the Mushroom Kingdom to Bowser's Castle in the heart of the Koopa Kingdom. No longer did she writhe about in Bowser's grasp as he lugged her around his home. No longer did she spend her visits gazing forlornly out her barred window, hoping that her hero Mario would be able to save her.

Why? Because Mario _always_ won, just like Bowser always kidnapped Peach; there was no point in worrying herself silly over the plumber or his brother coming to rescue her. Just like there was no point wailing and pleading for help in Bowser's Clown Cart, high above the mountains of Dark Land: no one could possibly hear her besides her captor. While he deserved to get a headache for all the trouble he caused, it was hardly worth the sore throat Peach developed giving him one. It was just an inconvenience for both of them, just like it was an inconvenience for Peach to force Bowser to sling her over his shoulder and carry her wherever he needed her to go. Instead, she took to walking beside Bowser of her own accord.

Although, sometimes she worried that she was giving Bowser the wrong idea by behaving. After all, just because Peach cooperated with the Koopa King and tried to enjoy herself during her stays at his castle, in no way did she enjoy being captured. She often tried to explain to Bowser that if he just invited her over, she would be more than happy to come, but he always rebuked her, saying either her overprotective aide-de-camp Toadsworth, her neurotic aid Toad, or the Mario bros. would stop her. Bowser had a point, but Peach would remind him that if he had been polite from the beginning then her friends _wouldn't_ oppose her visits to the Koopa Kingdom. He would then remind her that he was an EVIL king, not a polite king, and leave it at that. So Peach gave up on arguing with Bowser as well.

Still, despite their long history, Peach _was_ hoping Bowser might turn over a new leaf after all he, Peach and the Mario bros. went through recently. The four of them had teamed up and saved all the worlds from complete and utter destruction by the heartbroken Count Bleck, and then by his traitorous and creepy jester-like minion Dimentio. It wasn't the first time Bowser fought on the side of good; a couple years ago he had teamed up with Peach, Mario and some other folks to defeat a man named Smithy, who was invading the Mushroom Kingdom from another dimension. That time, Bowser helped them to reclaim his stolen castle and troops (who had been captured by Smithy); but against Bleck and Dimentio, it was different.

Many worlds and many lives were in danger of being wiped out of existence, and while Bowser disguised his choices with bravado and posturing, he knew what was at stake and did the right thing. He saved Peach, Mario and Luigi on many occasions, and nearly gave his life, not only for them, but for one of their enemies as well. He did it out of honor, and Peach knew he cared for _her_ at the very least. She hoped the whole experience had truly made him a better person, but to her dismay, Bowser's change of heart was short-lived. So, needless to say, she wasn't nearly as cheery about returning to Koopa Castle as he was.

"Aww come on Princess, I though you'd be glad to be back!" said Bowser, grinning.

"Then you're delusional!" snapped Peach, making her way up the stairs behind Bowser.

"Tisk tisk, it's not nice to go biting your husband's head off, Peach," smirked Bowser, waggling his finger at the Princess as he reached the landing.

"I'M NOT YOUR WIFE!" exclaimed Peach. In order to destroy the worlds, Count Bleck had needed a thing called the Chaos Heart, and to create that, he forcefully married Peach and Bowser. While Bowser had been quite happy about the arrangement, Peach only said "I do" whilst under the hypnotic power of Bleck's assistant Nastasia. Peach had already told Bowser multiple times that the marriage wasn't official, but as always, he refused to listen.

"You're just saying that," chuckled Bowser.

"No I'm not! We've been through this! That sham meant nothing!"

"Oh really, if the marriage wasn't real, then why did the Chaos Heart appear?" said Bowser, smirking over his shoulder at Peach.

"Uh, well, maybe in Bleck's dimension it was real, but not around here," stammered Peach. She had never really considered that, and until now, Bowser hadn't brought it up.

"It doesn't matter where we are now, what matters is where we were when the ceremony took place. If that kind of marriage is valid in Bleck's world, then we _were_ actually married and that means we still are married – here, there and everywhere! Bwa ha ha!"

"But we didn't even kiss after the 'I do's," said Peach.

"Doesn't matter, here in Dark Land we don't even say 'I do'," said Bowser airily.

"But I was _hypnotized_, it wasn't _consensual_. Come on Bowser, be reasonable!" moaned Peach.

"Don't vorry Princess, Fazzer knows just as vell as you do zat zee marriage vasn't valid."

Peach and Bowser jumped. They had reached Peach's normal guestroom only to find Bowser's eldest son, Ludwig Von Koopa, leaning on the doorframe and scowling at his father.

"Ludwig? What are you doing here?" demanded Bowser.

"Vaiting for you," responded Ludwig, standing up straight.

"Why?" asked Bowser, eyeing his son suspiciously.

"Because zee uzzer Koopalings and I have had enough of all zis idiocy," growled Ludwig.

Peach stared at Ludwig. Usually Bowser's kids gave him a wide birth, and had she not witnessed it with her own eyes, Peach would never had believed one of them would so blatantly stand up to him. Not to mention the fact that Ludwig had just insulted the Koopa King to his face – the last guy that did that was dead. Peach turned and looked at Bowser; she was worried about what he would do this time, but he was just as surprised as Peach. He moved his mouth a couple times as if trying to say something, but words seemed to have failed him.

Having seen the impact of his words, Ludwig continued. "Kidnapping zee princess is vone sing, but making fun of zat 'marriage' is going too far. It is no laughing matter, and teasing Peach about it just makes you look stupid."

"Now you wait a minute-" started Bowser, narrowing his eyes in anger.

"No," said Ludwig, cutting his father off. "I vill _not_ vait – you should be _glad_ Peach did not consent to zee arrangement of her own free vill."

"Why?" asked Peach, hoping her interjection would spare Ludwig a horrible and fiery fate, courtesy of his father.

"Because, even though zat marriage didn't follow Dark Land customs, as Fazzer said, as long as it vas valid vere it vas done, zee coupling must be recognized everyvere else as vell-"

"Oh, so you were eavesdropping on us were you?" interrupted Bowser, a wisp of smoke escaping his nostrils.

"Hallvay conversations are not private," smirked Ludwig. "But as I vas saying, zee only exception to zee rule is an instance in vich one or more of zee affected individuals does not and/or never vanted to be a part of zee marriage. After all, zee ancient Law of Free Will prohibits and invalidates all non-consensual marriages."

"I know that," growled Bowser. "And I think you're overreacting-"

"Vell _vee_ sink _you're_ under-reacting!"

"I still don't understand why Bowser should be glad the marriage isn't real," said Peach, sensing a major argument on the horizon.

"Because, zee Law of _Fidelity_ clearly states zat if any member of zee royal family is found guilty of polygamy, zey are to be stripped of zeir title."

A heavy silence fell. Peach looked from Ludwig to Bowser. The Koopaling was regarding his father with an iciness Peach had never imagined he could muster. On the other hand, Bowser's face was a strange mix between anger, and a sadness the likes of which Peach had never seen in him before.

But the pain in Bowser's expression didn't last long. "What are you playing at?" he growled at Ludwig, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Sree years!" shouted Ludwig suddenly. "She's been gone sree years and you've done _nossing_! Nossing except try to erase her! So vat am _I_ playing at? Vat are YOU playing at!"

"You're outta line Ludwig!" spat Bowser. "You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Do I?" hissed Ludwig, "How do you sink vee Koopalings feel? She vas _our_ _muzzer_! Just because _you _vere heartbroken doesn't mean you can just abandon us to our own means! Junior doesn't even know her name, since you forbade us from telling him _anysing_! Vee've put up vit zee neglect long enough! Zis close call proved it! You've done no good by leaving it all up in zee air!"

Bowser looked like he had half a mind to murder Ludwig on the spot. "What the He-"

"Now wait just a minute there, Bowser," piped up Peach, stepping between the King of the Koopas and his son. "I would like some answers too. For one thing, is Ludwig talking about your _wife_?"

Bowser paused, looking first at Peach and then at Ludwig. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. It was obviously a sensitive subject for him, and Peach felt a twinge of pity for the Koopa King. Bowser looked back up and opened his mouth to explain himself when the door to Peach's room was blown from its hinges by a wave of scarlet fire.

Ludwig was still standing in front of the room and the splintered wood and blazing flames sent him flying across the hall with a yelp of pain.

"Ludwig!" gasped Bowser as his eldest child hit the floor and lay in a crumpled heap, gripping his face with blistering fingers.

"Oh my goodness!" gasped Peach, rushing over to help Ludwig with Bowser hot on her heels, neither paying attention to the one responsible for the incident.

Unfortunately for Bowser, from Mario's point of view in the ruined doorway, it looked like the King of the Koopas was chasing the Princess.

"Oh no you don't-a-Bowser!" shouted Mario, sending another wave of fireballs flying from his fingers.

"What the?- Ahhhhh!" screamed Bowser as he was broadsided by the flames, which flung him into the wall, and through the window therein.

"Fazzer!" shouted Ludwig, his bloody face aghast.

"Bowser!" cried Peach, looking back over her shoulder in horror.

"_AHHHHHH!_" screamed Bowser as the spiked ground rushed up to meet him.


	2. The Orphans

**A/N****: Now after that lovely intro we move on to the flashback section of the story. Don't worry, it'll all make sense later. And by the way, if the verbal description of Bowser's wife is lacking in any way, I've uploaded a picture of her on my profile page, and more images (mostly sketches) can be seen at**_** http: / / pics. livejournal. com/walkazo/gallery/00001cc2**_

Chapter 1: The Orphans

"No WAY Kamek! I am NOT going anywhere!"

"Please, Your Highness, we have to go to the Banana Kingdom _in person_, it'll make a good impression for the king," sighed Kamek.

"I don't care! There's no way I'm gonna marry some mangy monkey!" roared Prince Bowser Koopa. He had had enough of his advisor's pitiful attempts to find him a mate. He had only turned twenty last month, and already Kamek had tried to get him set up with every single royal lady this side of the Sassafras Sea. The Koopa Kingdom was the laughing stock of the Mushroom World, and had it been for any other reason, Bowser would have been laughing right along with them.

It was ridiculous that Kamek would even think that any of those princesses would agree to be Bowser's wife. Sarasaland and the Koopa Kingdom were locked in a venerable cold war and after Kamek had Bowser try to kidnap Princess Peach that one time when they were children, their relations with the Mushroom Kingdom weren't much better off.

The Koopas and Beans may not have had any problems, but Princess Bean was a decade older than Bowser, had a teenage son, lost her husband less than a year previously to a heart attack, and was due to mount the Beanbean Kingdom throne any day now. As for the distant Waffle Kingdom, it didn't take a rocket scientist to guess that having never made contact with the Koopa Kingdom (being separated from the Mushroom Continent by a couple oceans, and all), they weren't likely to agree to marry off their only heir to the throne.

Now, Bowser was far from reasonable. He started out as a spoiled brat, then a lazy teenage hot head, and he hadn't improved his personal image now that he was an adult. As far as he was concerned, he deserved countless princesses lining up to be his number one girl: he was young, he was fit, he was the supreme ruler of a feared and respected country; and if all that wasn't good enough, his good looks were topped off by a flaming red mullet. Still, Bowser had the common sense to recognize a hopeless situation when he saw one: the ladies weren't interested in him, and he wasn't interested in them – the only half-decent looking ones were minors as far as their human laws were concerned, and thus, out-of-bounds.

But when he tried to explain it all to Kamek, the old Magikoopa would brush him off. Kamek had raised Bowser from an egg; he had put up with a lot, and Bowser figured that his advisor was just hoping that once Bowser was hitched and became the King of the Koopas, he could get a break.

Well, too bad.

"Nothing you can say's gonna change my mind," continued Bowser, his snout in the air.

"But Sire, don't you _want_ to be King?" said Kamek.

"What kind of a question is _that_?" scoffed Bowser. "Of course the answer's YES!"

"Well, if you want to be King, you have to marry a princess," explained Kamek, for the billionth time.

"Yeah, well…" began Bowser grumpily, before he got a great idea. "Hey, don't our laws say you have to mate to be mates?"

"Yes…"

"Well then, you have to be a bit more sensitive to my own personal needs," wheedled Bowser. "I mean, I could probably make it with a human, come on, let's face it, that Princess Peach…"

"Now now, we don't want to say anything incriminating…" patronized Kamek.

"Oh come on, don't be a baby, she's not _that_ young – and besides, _you_ tried to set us up first remember?"

Kamek frowned: Bowser had a point.

The Koopa Prince waved it off and continued. "But Princess Bean is a fat old broad, and who knows what that Waffle Kingdom girl looks like – with a name like Princess _Éclair_…"

"I heard she's a lovely human," offered Kamek.

"Whatever! The point is, there's no way I'm gonna do it with some nasty old baboon, or ape, or chimp or whatever else they've got down there in the Alligator Archipelago."

"But-" began Kamek.

"No 'buts'," ordered Bowser. He had humored Kamek long enough, there was no way he was letting himself be dragged from tiny little island nation to tiny little island nation courting fleabit peanut monkeys. It was embarrassing enough having to read through the angry letters from the princesses Kamek contacted by mail – at least he could try to ignore _them_. But there was no way he was going to get rejected to his face by a bunch of random girls.

"Now," continued Bowser, "if you were to go out and find a nice _Dragon-Koopa_ girl for me, I might consider sticking my neck out, but otherwise…"

"I've already told you countless times that there are no Dragon-Koopas around anymore," said Kamek in exasperation.

"Oh right, I forgot – Dad ran them all out of town," grumbled Bowser; sometimes never even seeing another member of his own species bugged him.

What bugged Kamek, however, was when people badmouthed Bowser's old man. "Take that back! Your father was the greatest Koopa King in history! He united the tribes – something no one had even considered since the days of the great Queen Koopa. He improved the lives of thousands of Koopas, he single handedly converted millions of Boos to our cause…"

Kamek droned on and on. Behind him, Bowser lip-synced the entire speech; fortunately Kamek was too wrapped up in his fond memories of King Morton Koopa to notice. Not that Bowser would've cared – his dad was gone, and he was in charge. If Kamek had a problem with Bowser's antics, he could take it up with the dungeon walls.

"…if you hope to be half the king he was." Finished Kamek, glowering at Bowser.

"Whatever," shrugged Bowser.

Kamek growled in frustration. "So can we go now?"

"No! I thought we got that all cleared up. _No monkeys!_ So unless you're willing to go find me a _nice_ girl, I'm not going anywhere."

"But-"

"Hey! I said 'no buts'!" growled Bowser. "And I've had just enough of your impudence! I may not be the king, but _I_ still call the shots! And _I_ say _I_ get the day off!"

With that, Bowser turned and stormed out of the Entrance Hall. Kamek watched him go, frowning. _If only you were still here Morton,_ he thought bitterly, _instead of your idiot son…_

-xxx-

Bowser stormed along the path leading from the castle's front door. On either side of him lava pools bubbled; in the wet season they'd cool off enough to become solid, but for now Bowser had to travel to get to solid land. That was one of the things he missed most about living on Yoshi's Island as a kid: there he could go outside and be surrounded by grass and trees just _begging_ to be burnt down. Now the only things he could take his anger out on were his guards.

"What're you looking at?" snarled Bowser at one of said guards.

The startled Koopa Troopa jumped away from Bowser, and nearly fell off the path into the lava. Bowser chuckled, though inside, he knew he shouldn't take pleasure at bothering his minions: it made him quite unpopular. But these days it was the only way he _could_ have fun.

The sad fact should have brought a pang of sadness to the Koopa Prince, but instead it brought angry thoughts bubbling back to the surface. "Grrr, stupid Kamek!" hissed Bowser, a small flame licking out of his mouth. "If he just let me do what I wanted then I'd have fun _all_ the time!"

Bowser finally reached the end of the path and marched through the front gates. In his father's day there had been a large city in front of the castle, but now it was more of a ghost town, filled with crumbling ruins. The only buildings still in use were the train station and a pub that serviced the Castle Guards. Bowser wandered about the deserted streets. Kamek would always tell him that he shouldn't stray away from the main road since he would be too far away from the protection of his bar-going Koopa Troop members. Bowser had pointed out that no one but guards entered the old city anyway, and even if Bowser met some unruly traveler, he was more than capable of defending himself.

Besides, the fact that there weren't any guards was Bowser's favorite feature of the city: it was the only place he could vent off steam without being overheard. That is, except on this particular day, for as the oblivious Bowser stomped around the back alleys cursing Kamek's name, he was being watched from the shadows.

"…And no stupid 'peace talks' with those stupid Sarasalanders and their stupid _pomp and circumstance_," ranted Bowser, kicking over a rotting wooden box lying on the ground. Bowser liked destroying things, but he was in such a foul mood it didn't do much to elevate his temper as he stormed past the splintered wood without a second glance. "…It's just cause _Dad_ put so much effort into that stupid war, so stupid old Kamek _has_ to make _me_ continue it. But it's pointless! It's a waste of soldiers; it's a waste of time… I say, 'let's invade the Mushroom Kingdom, it's a country full of suckers!' But Kamek's all, 'No! I'd rather _be_ the sucker and attack stupid old Sarasaland because I'm stupid!' Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! He's just so- so-"

"Stupid?"

Bowser jumped at the mysterious voice and wheeled around furiously. "Grrrr I thought I told all of you to leave me alo-" However he cut himself off in mid-sentence as he realized he wasn't talking to one of his guards, but staring into the face of the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on.

She was Bowser's height and was covered in grass-green scales save for her snout and belly, which were pale yellow. Her eyes were bright red, the same shade of Bowser's, but her shaggy, shoulder-length, hair was blue, fading to purple at the tips. While she wore no makeup, her eyelids were naturally a darker shade of green than her face; likewise, her lips were a deep maroon colour, and her long, gray eyelashes were clumped together in a long triangular shape. The only piece of jewelry (or indeed, clothing at all) that the girl wore was a sky blue Paratroopa shell charm, which hung around her neck on a loose-fitting length of aging brown leather.

Had Bowser known anything about female Dragon-Koopas, he would have recognized the girl to be quite plain, if not downright scruffy. Her scales were dull and her hair unkempt; it was obvious she paid no attention to her appearance, except perhaps for the gleaming white talons adorning her fingers and toes. But Bowser didn't care, and stood there staring at the female with his mouth hanging open. She gazed back, coolly summing him up with a somewhat bored expression.

Once she looked him over a couple times, the girl raised her eyes to Bowser's, only to find he was staring at her upper torso with a dazed look about him. She scowled and crossed her arms, effectively blocking his view of her chest while clearing her throat. Bowser looked up at her disapproving face and blushed a bright scarlet. "Oh, sorry, I, uh…"

As the prince stammered out an apology, the female smirked. _This is gonna be easier than I thought_.

Bowser misread the expression as a smile, and tried to return it. "Uh, so, I'm, uh, well what I mean to say is, um, hello?"

"Hi," she said. "You were talking about your advisor, Kamek Koopa, right?"

"Um, yeah," said Bowser sheepishly, of all the things he wanted to talk to the girl about, his stuffy godfather was last on the list.

"You know what they say about him, right?" said the girl, grinning mischievously. "That if your dad ever had trouble finding a queen, Kamek would have been more than happy to fill the post!"

"Huh? But Dad married _into_ the royal family, if he didn't marry Mom he wouldn't've needed to worry about getting a queen," said Bowser, confused. "It'd make more sense if Kamek would have been Mom's King."

"But the point of the joke is to make fun of how Kamek _loves_ your father, not your mother," explained the girl.

"But Dad wasn't gay, and neither's Kamek… I _think_."

"I know that," said the girl. "And so does everyone else, but you have to admit, your advisor does hold King Morton in high regards; he loved him, just not in a sexual way."

"Then why would he marry him?" asked Bowser.

"He wouldn't, it's a joke!" the girl was clearly exasperated and watched Bowser digest her answer in disbelief, one eyebrow cocked critically. Bowser felt his face redden again under her gaze – how could he be so dense?

"Uh, I knew it was a joke, I mean, Morton _was_ my father," said Bowser, attempting to save some face.

"Yeah I know," said the girl flatly.

Bowser's eyes widened, _of course_ she knew Morton was his dad – she'd said so in her joke explanation. The prince had to act swiftly to save the conversation. "And I'm Bowser!"

"Yeah, Morton's son," grinned the girl cruelly. Bowser squirmed uneasily, if his face was any hotter you could cook Yoshi Eggs on it. But the female was smiling; did she think his stupidity was cute? Or was she taking pleasure at his discomfort?

Something in her eyes told Bowser it was the second one.

"Uh, so, I'm Bowser," repeated the Prince, the girl humoured him and nodded. This was a good sign. "And, uh, you are?"

"Bowselta Parakay."

"Wow, that's… interesting," said Bowser, unable to think of anything better to say.

"Yeah," continued Bowselta. "I hatched a bit after you did, but my parents had already chosen the name and didn't want to give it up. They regreted it pretty quickly, though - everyone thought they named me after you."

"Oh, that's… uh, nice?" ventured Bowser.

"Not really," scowled Bowselta. "All the other kids made fun of me."

"Oh? Uh…" stammered Bowser, not knowing how to respond in a way that wouldn't make him look even more like an idiot.

"They loved being mean to me," continued Bowselta. "Partially because I'm a Dragon-Koopa, and not a 'normal' Koopa; partially because I was the smartest kid in school; partially because if I wanted to, I could have kicked all their butts-"

"If you could beat them all up than wasn't it sorta stupid of them to bully you?" asked Bowser.

"They never bullied me _physically_," said Bowselta.

"Still, why didn't you just go after them anyway and shut them up?" asked Bowser.

"Because of my parents," explained Bowselta. "They would've killed me if I did anything like that. They wouldn't _care_ that I was just defending myself – all that was important to them was _their_ image. If their precious princess went around beating the crap outta her schoolmates, think of how it would reflect on _them_," she growled.

"_What_?" chuckled Bowser. "What kind of person would think that way? What were they? Snobby, hoity-toity, rich snobs?"

"Sorta, they were the King and Queen of the Paratroopas – before your dad squished all the Koopa nations together, made them redundant and cast them into a life of poverty, that is," said Bowselta, a hint of bitterness creeping into her voice.

"Oh…" said Bowser, lowering his eyes from Bowselta's.

"Don't worry about it," she shrugged, swallowing the resentment she had let slip as she continued her story. "But as a result of _their_ upbringing, they wanted me to act like a perfect little princess all the time too."

"That shouldn't matter," said Bowser, hoping he was saying the right thing for a change. Now there was a lot more at stake for him if he did manage to impress this girl. "After all, I'm a prince, but I don't run around in prissy tights."

"Thankfully," snorted Bowselta.

"Yeah," said Bowser, ecstatic that he made Bowselta laugh (well, _almost_ – but it was better than nothing). "Still, I mean, you _are_ a princess right?"

"Technically I'm an ex-princess," said Bowselta. "I've still got royal blood, but what do you care anyway?"

"Oh, well…" said Bowser looking down at his toes shyly as his cheeks once again flushed a glowing shade of crimson. "It, uh, just so happens I'm, er, looking for a, uh, princess…"

"A _real_ princess," interjected Kamek, suddenly diving into the clearing on his broomstick from the cloudy skies. He hovered above the ground and scowled at the scene before him.

"Huh, Kamek? What are _you_ doing here? I thought I told you it was my day off!" growled Bowser; he _hated_ interruptions.

"The ruler of the Koopa Kingdom doesn't get days off. And you should be happy I'm here to get you outta trouble," said Kamek, shooting Bowselta a reproachful look at the mention of 'trouble'.

"What are you talking about?" demanded Bowser.

"Her," said Kamek, pointing at Bowselta accusingly.

"What?" gasped Bowser. "Oh, just because she's not a proper princess anymore means she's 'trouble'?"

"No, but-" started Kamek, however Bowser cut him off.

"'But' nothing. She's still got royal blood and that's good enough for me," huffed the prince, quoting Bowselta.

"Good enough for what?" asked Kamek, narrowing his eyes.

"To be my queen!" announced Bowser.

Kamek stared at the prince in shock, he looked over at Bowselta but her expression was unreadable. He turned back to Bowser. "Please, Your Highness be reasonable-"

"Hey, _you_ were the one who lied about how there weren't any Dragon-Koopas left in Dark Land besides me," said Bowser.

"I didn't-" began Kamek.

"You're just upset you made yourself look like a fool trying to find me a girl all this time, and here I found the perfect woman without even trying!" Boasted Bowser, walking over and throwing his arm around his intended's shoulders.

Bowselta had not been expecting that and went rigid, her eyes flashing. But in order to keep Bowser amorously ignorant, she forced herself to relax beneath his touch. It worked on him, but Kamek had noticed her split-second reaction.

Realizing something was amiss, he tried once again to appeal to the prince's more sensible nature. "Please Bowser, you can't-"

"Of course I can! I'm the Prince of the Koopa Kingdom! I don't care about any stupid old laws!" growled Bowser.

"But you just met her: you have no idea who she is, or why she's even here, for that matter," finished Kamek, ignoring Bowser.

"Hasn't anyone told you it's rude to talk about someone in their presence as if they can't hear you?" snarled Bowselta, stepping forwards and out from under Bowser's arm.

The prince looked from his advisor to Bowselta, both glaring daggers at each other. Kamek was right, Bowser didn't know anything about Bowselta, and there was something about her that worried him – but there was something else about her that he _knew_ he could trust. And it wasn't like he had a lot of options: Dragon-Koopas were thin on the ground, and if Bowser let this girl go, he may never find another to replace her. Not that he wanted to let her go _period_; after all, she was a total babe.

"Uh," said Bowser, as both Kamek and Bowselta turned their gazes towards him expectantly. "Well, sure I guess I don't know anything about Bowselta, but that's not gonna stop me from marrying her!"

"What? That's insane!" stammered Kamek, he couldn't believe his internal ears; he knew Bowser was a bit dense, and he knew how effectively hormones warped _sensible_ peoples' minds, but this was _ridiculous_.

To be honest, Bowser knew it was a bit crazy of him to think that too, but he wasn't gonna let Kamek know that. "I don't care," he announced, before looking at Bowselta. "Come on, you wanna see the castle?"

"Sure," she shrugged.

"Great," he choked out, as they left the clearing, pointedly ignoring the furious Magikoopa as he took to the skies once more.

-xxx-

Bowser was not having much luck with Bowselta. His first impressions had been bad enough, but in the few hours after lunch he was sure he had ruined any chance he had with her. All he did was talk about stuff he remembered Kamek talking about when they had guests: politics and King Morton Koopa. Bowser hated politics, and he hated having to sing his father's praises, but everyone else seemed to enjoy the subjects perfectly well.

Everyone except Bowselta, that is, and it took Bowser four hours to realize that. So he had tried branching out on his own. It turned out they both hated humans, loved red meat, thoroughly enjoyed roasting people who got in their way, and thought Yoshi Racing was quite overrated. But, despite all these common interests, Bowser fell flat on his face every time they got a good conversation going.

He'd say something stupid, or pig-headed, or go rambling off on a tangent, or forget what he was talking about. It wasn't like him to be like this; he tried to explain it to Bowselta, but ended up getting tongue-tied. It was just, she was SO distracting…

Even now as they walked along the corridor in silence she had Bowser captivated. He watched in rapt concentration as she stopped in front of a large picture of Bowser's parents. On one side of the picture was Bowser's father, King Morton Koopa, who looked like Bowser but with a goatee; on the other side was Bowser's mother, Queen Clawdia Koopa. Compared to Clawdia, Bowselta looked downright ugly. But Bowser's mother had often been cited as the most beautiful Dragon-Koopa _ever_, with a bluish tint to her sparkling scales, and shimmering rainbow hair – compared to her, _all_ Dragon-Koopas looked bad.

But his mother could have been a hag as far as Bowser was concerned today. He stared longingly at Bowselta as she put her hands on her hips and looked up at the picture. Even the view from the back was great. Her tail was longer and more expressive than Bowser's; her legs were as built as his arms; even her toes were more defined than the Koopa Prince's. Her shell _was_ the same shade of forest green as Bowser's, but it was much slimmer and way more ascetically pleasing than the price's carapace.

Bowser had often complained about how his bulky shell made him look like a hunchback, to which Kamek would assure him that having a large shell was something to be proud of. Unlike normal Koopas, Dragon-Koopas were attached to their shells by the dorsal spurs of their vertebrae; the space between their ribcage and their shell was used to store magical energy. These reservoirs enabled Dragon-Koopas to magically retract their arms, legs, tails and heads into their shell, a space that wouldn't naturally allow that function. Koopa Troopas and their cousins had long ago evolved to the point where they could separate from their shells and maintain the energy in the flesh of their bodies, allowing for the space between their backs and their shells for carrying items.

However Dragon-Koopas were an ancient species, and being inseparable from their shells suited them just fine, since the amount of energy stored in Koopas' bodies was much less than that found in Dragon-Koopa shells. And the larger the shell, the more energy stored in there – or so Bowser had been taught. However, when he and Bowselta had a little target practice on some wall hangings, the female won, despite having a supposedly smaller energy reservoir. True, Bowser's flare had been larger, but Bowselta's had been more focused; and as a result, she was able to burn a hole in the 'flame-proof' tapestry long before Bowser.

The smell of burnt plastic still filled Bowser's nostrils and made him hungry for more. And not only was Bowselta powerful when it came to magic, she undoubtedly possessed the same physical prowess that Bowser prided himself on. While the prince was of a large build, Bowselta was a mass of coiled muscles, compacted into a lithe and nimble form. Bowser would gladly risk getting his eyes clawed out by her razor-sharp fingernails if only he could feel her skin on his; he would die happy if it happened under her writhing form, the smell of her flesh filling the air as she-

"Your staring again," drawled Bowselta, looking back over her shoulder at Bowser.

"Oh, uh, sorry," he grinned.

"No you're not," she said, turning back to the painting. His amorous attentions, while flattering, were quickly getting on Bowselta's nerves. And as she felt his eyes boring into the back of her head once more, she decided to try and strike up another conversation. "There sure are a lot of pictures of your folks around here."

"Yeah, I guess," said Bowser unenthusiastically. "I'm pretty sure its Kamek's idea…"

"I can believe that," said Bowselta, smiling wryly.

"Actually, it's kinda annoying," admitted Bowser. "I mean, normally you'd just think of it as a reminder of my family's greatness. But sometimes it sorta points out my ungreatness."

"'_Ungreatness_'?" scoffed Bowselta.

"You know what I mean," said Bowser, walking up and standing beside her, looking up at his father. "It's just, all my life I've been compared to him. Everything I do, it's always, 'your father did it faster', 'your father did it better'. But how am I supposed to compete with him? He united the Koopas – no matter what I do, I can't beat that."

"Set the bar pretty high, didn't he?" said Bowselta, surveying Bowser out of the corner of her eye.

"He sure did," said the prince, wrenching his gaze from the painting and looking at Bowselta. "Did you ever hear about his plans for the Mushroom Kingdom?"

Bowselta shook her head.

"He was going to invade, it's sorta the reason he died," explained Bowser. "They were getting all the old weapons out of storage, and one of the Banzai Bills got set off. The explosion took out enough of the foundation to bring the entire castle down."

"It killed everyone," said Bowselta softly. "But you survived?"

"Yep. Imagine how surprised Kamek must've been when he came back from whatever errand he was running only to find the castle leveled, his precious King Morton dead, and a little egg in the middle of the rubble, completely unharmed." Bowser let off a small bitter laugh. "I bet he wished it had been the other way around – Dad alive, me scrambled eggs."

"Why _did_ you live?" asked Bowselta, she had heard lots of different versions of the story, and she'd like to hear the real one for a change.

"Oh, something to do with my magic aura of energy," said Bowser sarcastically. "My egg was so energetic, it glowed. It was supposed to mean I'd live up to greatness, and we all know _that_ didn't happen. I mean, when I was little Kamek kept telling me about how, when I was old enough, we'd invade the Mushroom Kingdom like Dad wanted to do. Then he had that stupid vision about those stupid Mario bros. and everything got botched up."

"So I've heard," offered Bowselta.

"Have you also heard what everyone says behind my back?" said Bowser, looking away from Bowselta. "About how I'm a complete joke?"

Bowselta was caught off guard. Of course she'd heard that Bowser was a fool – a waste of scales and a disgrace to his father's name. Most of it stemmed from his lethargic approach to the war against Sarasaland, his bad temper, and his repeated defeats at the hands of Yoshis and baby humans. What surprised Bowselta was that Bowser knew about it all too; she had heard he was too dense for that, and he had been proving it all that day. Until now.

Bowser looked up into Bowselta's shocked face and smiled sadly. "Didn't think I'd know, did ya?"

Bowselta couldn't think of a response, so she shook her head.

Bowser nodded to himself thoughtfully. A silence fell, Bowselta was a bit worried he'd ask her why she came to him – if she thought he was an idiot she wouldn't have just dropped into his arms. She had been relying on his hormones and naïveté to get her through the day without question. She couldn't believe her carefully laid plans were going to fall apart just because she had blindly believed all the rumors and underestimated the Koopa Prince.

"So enough about me, let's talk about you," suggested Bowser. Bowselta paled, expecting the worst, but it didn't come. "What about your parents? Did they have high expectations for you? Other than behaving like a perfect little princess, that is."

Bowselta snapped her head up, she had not been expecting that either. She had always heard that Bowser only cared about himself, that he was a right little hothead. All morning and afternoon had been about him; the only time he learned anything about her was when she just happened to like whatever he was talking about. The silence was fine for her, she was used to going days if not weeks without saying a word: in her line of work, the quieter, the better. But here he was, asking her about herself, and remembering an obscure little fact from hours previously. Bowselta had been tuning Bowser out most of the day, she assumed he had done the same to her.

"Oh, no," she said, shaking herself out of her surprise.

"Hmm," said Bowser, when Bowselta didn't elaborate he continued. "So, why didn't your folks leave Dark Land when they lost their title?"

"They weren't great leaders. Their subjects jumped on the first opportunity to kick them out, and they weren't kind enough to provide Mom and Dad with transportation to get outta the country with all the other royal families."

"That wasn't very nice," muttered Bowser.

"_They_ weren't very nice," shrugged Bowselta. "All they cared about was money, and gold, and stuff. They were like that when we were poor too: always spending their pay cheques on new curtains or whatever; we went hungry a lot. Everyone in the village _hated_ them, and when they died all our neighbours jumped on the opportunity to kick _me_ out."

"What?" gasped Bowser.

"It's sorta like you and your parents," said Bowselta. "They were great so everyone expects _you_ to be a marvel; my parents were horrid, so everyone expected me to be an avaricious snob too."

"Man… people suck."

"Yeah…" said Bowselta, trailing off.

"So, uh, how old were you when your parents died?" asked Bowser. "I mean, if it's not too hard to talk about, or-"

"Please," snorted Bowselta. "I haven't shed a tear over my parents in years. They died when I was seven; they worked in a Bob-Omb factory and there was an accident."

"Oh, I can relate to that," said Bowser, it was uncanny how similarly his and Bowselta's parents had met their ends. "'Course, I guess it'd be harder to lose your folks after you got to know them…"

"There wasn't much to know," said Bowselta emotionlessly. "As I said, they loved gold and money, nothing else; not me, not each other. They married for business, not love: Dad needed a queen, and Mom needed some extra cash. It served them right that they lost it all a couple years later. Then, when they signed a contract for the Factory, they found out that if they had a kid, the Factory would have to provide more food credits and a larger house for them to live in, so they had me. How sad is that?"

Bowser couldn't think of an appropriate response, fortunately Bowselta wasn't expecting one. "But, I _was_ sad when they died, they were all I had, after all. When the Factory went up in smoke, I ran down and dug around in the rubble; believe it or not, I actually found my Mom's necklace." Bowselta took the Paratroopa shell charm in her claws and twiddled it around as she continued. "She thought it was ugly, but it's a priceless heirloom, so she wouldn't get rid of it: it was a sign of her _prestigious pedigree_. She always wore it, hidden under her cheap, fake jewelry – I don't think it ever occurred to her that a status symbol didn't do you much good if no one could actually see it."

Bowser laughed. Then a thought occurred to him. "Wait, if your Mom was wearing the charm when the factory came down then wouldn't she have still been attached to it when you found it?"

Bowser realized a second too late that that was a bit crude, but Bowselta didn't seem to mind. "You don't know what happens to us Dragon-Koopa when we die? _You_ can come back to life, but didn't Kamek teach you anything?"

"There's Dry Bones…"

"Besides that. When all our energy is gone – whether it depleted naturally, or escaped as a result of injury, or _worse_ – don't you know what happens?"

"Uh…"

"We turn to dust," she said. "I pulled the necklace from my mother's ashes and I didn't even know it at first. Then I tried to go home, but I got run out of the village by an angry mob instead."

"A mob? But you were only seven!" gasped Bowser.

"Yeah, but I was already as tall as most of the villagers," shrugged Bowselta.

"How in the world did you survive on your own?" asked Bowser, amazed she was still alive.

"I did what I had to…" said Bowselta, before lapsing into silence. Bowser realized that was probably all he'd get out of her, so he decided not to press his luck.

After a moment Bowselta turned away from the painting and started walking down the corridor. "There may be pictures of your parents _everywhere_, but you shouldn't be totally upset about it," mused Bowselta, looking over her shoulder at the picture of Morton and Clawdia.

"Oh?" murmured Bowser, walking up beside Bowselta.

"Yep, I haven't seen my folks in fifteen years; they may've been lousy parents, but I sometimes wish I could at least remember what they _looked like_…"

Bowser and Bowselta's eyes met, she smiled sadly and lowered her gaze to the ground. Bowser followed suit and the two walked in silence down the halls, each lost in their troubled memories.

-xxx-

Dinner had been a subdued affair. Bowser got the impression Bowselta would have preferred forgoing all the cutlery and just used her hands, but had decided to try and stay civil. Next night, Bowser was requesting finger food – it seemed to have gone down easier for her at lunch.

Right now, Bowselta was in her new guest quarters, having requested some alone time after dinner. Bowser had understood; they had spent hours together and she seemed like the type to enjoy her privacy. Besides, since their conversation in front of the picture, things seemed a little strained between them. Bowser didn't understand why: he felt that they had really connected, and it was the first time that day that he didn't make an idiot of himself. But as Bowser grew accustomed to Bowselta, she seemed to grow less sure of herself, and it vexed him to no end.

He was pretty sure he had a way to patch things up with Bowselta – if only the stupid guards would hurry up and find what he needed.

"So, when were you planning on telling me why you're having the guards tear the permanent records room apart?" drawled a voice from behind Bowser.

He whirled around to find Kamek dismounting his broom, looking up at the Koopa Prince expectantly. "Never: it's none of your business, Kamek."

"As your Chief Advisor, everything's my business," said the Magikoopa.

"Only when it affects the kingdom," growled Bowser. "This is personal."

Kamek frowned. "It's for _her_ isn't it? You're getting in way over your head with this girl."

"Great, here we go again," said Bowser, rolling his eyes.

Kamek sighed in frustration. "Look, I've been digging up records myself, and it doesn't look good."

"Yeah, yeah, Bowselta's parents were real loads and weren't big fans of Dad – she already told me."

"Did she tell you about _herself_? And what she's been doing lately?"

"No," said Bowser unconcerned by the fact.

"I didn't expect she would, since she's a notorious thief!" announced Kamek.

"What are you talking about?" said Bowser incredulously.

"Over the years, thefts all over Dark Land have gone unaccounted for. But recent studies have started showing patterns, like how the victims were always rich, and how the locks were always picked, instead of destroyed – the list goes on. And all of these details link all these minor thefts to one mysterious criminal. They call her the Shadow Thief since no one's ever gotten a real good look at her; she always slips away and _never_ leaves any clues behind."

"If the she never leaves clues and no one's seen her then why do you think it's Bowselta, or even a girl for that matter?" said Bowser skeptically.

"I said no one's gotten a _good_ look at her; a few people have seen her, mostly as a silhouette of a creature with hair and a spiked shell. A couple other reports I've been reading have made me certain the Shadow Thief is a female Dragon-Koopa; and after double checking the old censuses, I've proven that Bowselta's family was the only one not confirmed to leave the country."

"Maybe someone came back," said Bowser, although he was starting to get a bit worried.

"That's highly unlikely," said Kamek. "Besides, if she were the Shadow Thief it would explain a lot about her personality."

"What do you mean?" growled Bowser.

"I mean, she's pretty secretive. And, there's the whole question of why she showed up in the first place. No one's come to the old city in years except the guards and their families – not since Morton's castle came down. That begs the question of why an infamous criminal would willingly walk into the stronghold of Koopan Law? I could give the word right now and arrest her!"

"Unless I stop you," warned Bowser.

"You have to admit, it's all a bit fishy," sneered Kamek, ignoring Bowser's comment.

"The only thing fishy here is you," growled Bowser. "Sure Bowselta's a bit… _unusual_, but that doesn't mean she's some 'Shadowy Thief'. And even if she is, I doubt she's planning to rob _me_; if she wanted to get into the castle you've made it clear she could on her own, so why would she reveal herself to me first?"

"To make it easier to move around inside the castle and get what she came for?" suggested Kamek.

"She wouldn't blow her 'secret identity' just to make things _easier_," snorted Bowser. "What if she's just tired of living out in the wilderness?"

"That doesn't fit in with her record either," said Kamek.

"People change," huffed Bowser; no matter what Kamek said, he refused to believe Bowselta was no good. Sure, Kamek was probably right about her being the Shadow Thief, it was probably what she meant when she said she 'did what she had to', but to be honest she didn't sound that bad anyway. The Shadow Thief only stole from rich people who didn't need what was taken; she wasn't hurting anyone, she was just surviving the only way she could. Was that so big of a crime?

Kamek watched Bowser thinking; he didn't like it one bit. Bowselta was trouble – he knew it. If only the prince would accept the facts. "Bowser-"

"Look Kamek," interrupted Bowser. "I don't know why you have it out for Bowselta, but lay off! So her past is a bit… well… murky, but what does that matter? I think she's legit, and since _I'm_ the prince, my opinion is all that matters. She's staying, and you're gonna have to accept that and learn to get along."

"No offense, but you're wrong about Bowselta Parakay," huffed Kamek. "In fact, I'd rather leave then have to live in the same castle as _her_."

"Fine," said Bowser. "You can go."

"Wait, what?" sputtered Kamek: that was not the reaction he had anticipated.

"You heard me," growled Bowser. "If you really don't want to deal with Bowselta, you can go. In fact, I _insist_ you go. You can move to the Northern Castle and keep a closer eye on your precious war with Sarasaland."

"You can't kick me out! After all I've done for you? I dedicated my entire life to your family and you're getting rid of me for trying to save you from a murderous little witch!"

"I'm not 'getting rid' of you, I'm reassigning you. And it's not just about Bowselta; I'm an adult now, and I'm sick of you controlling my life!"

"I just have your best interests at heart," pleaded Kamek.

"You mean the _Kingdom's_ best interests; you don't care if _I'm_ happy. Remember the incident with the Mario bros. and the Yoshis? Or the whole 'you have to get married' thing?"

"Okay, fine, I have been a _little_ controlling, and you _can_ make your own decisions now, but you still need an advisor," said Kamek; he was willing to say anything to keep his powerful position as Bowser's right hand man.

"Then I'll make Bowselta my advisor," said Bowser unwisely.

"What?" gasped Kamek. "But, but she has _no_experience with politics or _anything_! I mean, maybe she could act as a co-advisor (if she doesn't kill us all first), but at least let me stay and-"

"No way! I've made up my mind: you're leaving," said Bowser stubbornly.

"Fine, not me, but at least let me send someone down to be your third co-advisor," begged Kamek. Even if he couldn't be around to whisper in Bowser's ear, he had the next best thing in mind.

"Wait, don't you mean _second_ co-advisor?" wondered Bowser.

"No, if I'm gone that doesn't mean I'm not one of your advisors, I'd keep my title, just be off active duty."

Bowser opened his mouth to continue arguing when a guard ran up to him carrying a small object in his hand. "Um, Your Highness, we've found the-"

"Great!" exclaimed Bowser, whirling around and snatching the thing out of the guard's hands, not wanting Kamek to know what it was.

Bowser looked down at whatever he was holding, a funny gleam in his eye. Kamek watched him and found an opening. "So are we all clear on the plan?"

"Yeah, whatever, you send someone down once you're all settled up north," said Bowser absentmindedly, walking away with the object.

"Of course," said Kamek, before thinking to himself, _if you make it that long_. He smiled cruelly and mounted his broom, flying off down the hall.

-xxx-

Bowselta lay on her bed. After years of sleeping on the ground the soft sheets felt alien to her scaled belly, but that wasn't the only thing that felt wrong. The day had started out as she had expected, with Bowser living up to his reputation of being an idiot. He constantly put his foot in his mouth, said the wrong thing, asked the wrong question, laughed at the wrong stuff, and stared at the _wrong_ parts of her anatomy.

Bowselta had immediately disliked him. Although she _did_ appreciate how easy he made her task by throwing caution and reason to the wind just because she was a pretty girl. Well, "pretty" was the wrong word, but if Bowser had nothing else to choose from, Bowselta imagined she looked pretty good. And it was all thanks to hormones: they blinded him to his senses, made him turn on his advisor, and let the most skilled thief in all the land walk right through his front door.

Not that thievery was on Bowselta's mind that night, and if all went well, she would never have to rob another house again. If all went well, by the next morning Bowser Koopa would be dead, and Bowselta Parakay would be perched on the throne.

She had it all planned out for years. Ever since she was little she had heard the people badmouth the Koopa Prince, the 'Royal Fool'. Her parents hated his father for outing them, and they hated Bowser by association. So naturally, Bowselta hated him too. And when her parents were killed and everything Bowselta had ever known was ripped away, the little Dragon-Koopa had even more reason to loathe the prince. If his father hadn't united the Koopas, her parents wouldn't have had to work for the Factory and their stupid contracts, and they never would have died.

She had bored it into her brain. She made it her goal to kill Bowser and take his place; some days it was the only thing that kept her going. But as she got older, she started to question herself. It wasn't Bowser who dethroned her parents, it was Morton, and if he hadn't done it, Bowselta's parents would never have needed a meal ticket, and Bowselta would never have been born. Not that she felt she owed her existence to Morton, she would never go _that_ far.

But she was reasonable enough to forgive Bowser for his father's actions. Besides, by then she had grown accustomed to life as the Shadow Thief – she no longer needed an outlet for her sadness and anger. Instead, she was sure she could reach her goal on sheer determination and perseverance.

Because, while she no longer had a personal vendetta against Prince Bowser, Bowselta still wanted to kill him. All her life she had eked out a meager existence, living on the razor's edge. Sure it had been fun a lot of the time, but it was still hard, and deep down she knew there was a better life out there for her, and she wouldn't settle for anything but the best: the life Bowser was currently in possession of. And that was just too bad for him, since anything Bowselta Parakay wanted, she got.

Over the years she had always thought up possible ways she could meet her ambitious ends; then a couple years ago she had stumbled upon a winner. And it was all thanks to hormones.

She was in her mid-teens, and listening to the latest gossip on the Koopa Prince of the same age. The talk of his hotheaded antics and reckless "typical male" behavior piqued Bowselta's interest, and she pegged him as an easy target: someone she could wrap around her finger, charm and manipulate.

And she did, having found the perfect opportunity to act. Bowser's mind was already on females, thanks to Kamek's matchmaking attempts, which also strained the relationship between the two of them – a bonus Bowselta hadn't been expecting. Everything was going great, with only one hitch Bowselta wouldn't have worried about in a million years: _hormones_.

While Bowser's intoxicated senses had been Bowselta's greatest ally, her own body had turned traitor. Like Bowser, Bowselta had never actually come face-to-face with another member of her species, except for when she was very little. Besides, Bowser was actually quite attractive: he was tall, strong, powerful… and he had a killer hairdo. Keeping that in mind, it was quite reasonable for Bowselta to feel something. Her problem was that she lowered her guard almost as much as Bowser did. She told him things about her childhood she rarely thought about herself; she bore more of her soul to him than she had _ever_ done with _anyone_ before.

So why in the world did she tell _Bowser_ those things? The answer was simple: hormones. Or was it? Beneath her disapproval of the bumbling prince there was something else, just like there was more to Bowser himself. It was true that they had just met, but Bowselta had already realized that while he was pretty dense most of the time, he wasn't as clueless as his subjects made him out to be. He knew what they said, and he was bothered by it; he was almost as ashamed of himself as they were. But he had an explanation for it all: his father, the wonderful King Morton. His amazing accomplishments had made it nearly impossible for Bowser to look good, just as it had been impossible for Bowselta to look good with her parents' bad attitudes hanging over her like a dark cloud.

The similarities between the two were unnerving, and perhaps that's why Bowselta said those things. Because Bowser _understood_; because he too was alone; because beneath the raging hormones there was something in Bowser's eyes that ran deeper. Bowselta had seen it after their conversation at the painting – she had seen it in him, and in her own eyes' reflections. It scared her.

A knock at the door jolted Bowselta out of her thoughts. "Come in," she called, hastily sitting up on the bed.

Bowser hesitantly entered the room. "Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?" he asked, noticing Bowselta sitting cross-legged on the bed.

She shook her head. "No, I was just thinking."

"Oh," said Bowser. "Thinking's good."

"Yep," agreed Bowselta. After a moment of awkward silence, Bowselta cleared her throat. "So… is there any particular reason why you came here?"

"Huh? Oh yeah," said Bowser sheepishly. "Um, I won't be long but, uh, remember our talk earlier?"

"Yes…"

"Well, you sorta seemed a bit… off… after it, and, well, I thought that, maybe I could, uh… here," giving up on words, Bowser looked down at his toes and held out a small rectangular object for Bowselta.

She took it skeptically, and gasped at what she saw: her parents, King Viracocha and Queen Clymnestra. The picture was clearly from before the unification of the Koopas, judging by the fancy clothes they were wearing, and the glittering jewelry adorning her mother's horns, neck, arms and wrists; although the photo didn't show it, her tail and the spikes of her maroon-coloured shell were surely decorated too. Aside from the heavy makeup and jewelry, her facial features were similar to Bowselta, except that half of it was hidden beneath a curtain of her shining black hair. Bowselta turned her gaze to her father; his blue head was bald except for his bushy dark blue eyebrows, which were furrowed in the scowl he had almost always worn. She smiled, how could she have ever forgotten that scowl? Or how her mother would spend hours filing and painting her nails bright red? Bowselta even remembered how she had often asked her parents why they insisted on wearing clothes while their scales worked just as well at protecting them from the elements. The picture brought back so many memories Bowselta had thought she'd lost forever.

Meanwhile, Bowser shifted self-consciously beside the door. He didn't want to interrupt Bowselta's trip down memory lane, but he didn't want to up and leave in case she wanted to talk. He doubted she would, but you never know.

Eventually Bowselta ripped her eyes from the picture and looked up at Bowser, her face a mix of emotions that the Koopa Prince couldn't even attempt to decipher.

"Thanks," she said.

-xxx-

A bolt of lightning split the sky outside the castle, it was a normal occurrence, what with all the static electricity building up in the volcanic clouds. The eternally overcast skies actually gave Dark Land its name; in the central areas, the volcanoes belched out clouds of acrid gas along with flares of lava and rivers of fire. Bowselta grew up in the outskirts of the Koopa Kingdom, and the mountains around the village had gone extinct long ago, though sun was still hidden behind mists and rain clouds year-round. That was the side most people didn't know about Dark Land; much of it was barren rocks, yes, but there were still pockets of green, fed by the water sapped from the cool air by the mountains and warmed by fires deep within their bellies.

The Koopas were fortunate to live in such a place. Sure it wasn't as picturesque as the rolling grassy hills of the Mushroom Kingdom, or as diverse as the four realms of Sarasaland, but it was still nice. The Koopa Kingdom made up almost all of the southern expanse of Dark Land, but the mountain range extended far into the north, where the peaks were shrouded in billowing white clouds and mighty glaciers spanning as far as the eye can see. Unfortunately the cold kept most beings from the winter wonderland, and another aspect of Dark Land went largely unnoticed.

Now the fate of the entire mountain range rested on Bowselta Parakay's shoulders as she stood above Prince Bowser Koopa's sleeping form, a long silver sword blotched with sinister black stains clutched in her sweaty hands.

Bowselta knew Bowser was protected by his magic from most forms of death. He could be squashed, thrown off buildings, burnt alive in lava, and bled until his veins ran dry, and he'd still bounce back. But Bowselta had done her research: if she beheaded Bowser, she would end the magic. It was one of the few ways to reliably kill any Dragon-Koopa, especially a Near-Immortal one.

She had it all planned out. None of his subjects liked Bowser, and would probably welcome her takeover with open arms. Any resistance would be outnumbered and crushed. She took a shuddering breath and raised the sword above her head. All she had to do was bring it back down. She had practiced for weeks to get it just right. One sweeping motion and she'd be in charge of the Koopa Kingdom. One movement of her arms and all her problems would evaporate.

If only he wasn't so _nice_. Giving her the picture was the kindest thing anyone had ever done for her, and she couldn't blame Bowser's behavior on hormones this time. Hormones made guys act weird and horny, not considerate and caring. There was _definitely_ something more to Bowser, and Bowselta was pretty sure she liked it.

But she couldn't! Not now! Not after all that planning; she couldn't blow it just because Bowser was nice to her. She sighed as her pessimism took over. _It's probably just an act anyway, he just wants to win me over with niceties now so he can get what he wants later_. It was a plausible explanation. But why didn't she believe it?

Swallowing her second-guessing, Bowselta choked up her grip on the sword and closed her eyes – perhaps it would be easier that way. But while she was no longer looking at Bowser, Bowselta's mind was instantly haunted by her parents' faces – her horrible, loveless parents that she couldn't help but miss. To think that she had forgotten them, and to think it was Bowser who brought them back… A wave of guilt coursed over Bowselta. She tried to shake it off; she was being stupid.

Very stupid. Bowser didn't deserve to die just so she could get some power. He wasn't a fool, he was a nice guy. On the inside anyway. Bowselta opened her eyes and dropped the sword to her side, looking down at the prince slumbering peacefully; totally unaware of how close he had come to death.

She turned and noiselessly made her way to the window that had granted her access to Bowser's room, sucking the sword back into her hammerspace as. Bowselta took one last look at him, and couldn't help but smile at her decision. Whatever happened in the future, at least she finally had a friend. And besides, Bowser liked her so much that if she asked for it, Bowselta wouldn't be surprised if he just _gave_ her the Koopa Kingdom.

With that final thought, Bowselta swung herself through the window, shutting it behind her with her tail, and nimbly climbing down the crumbling wall to her own window, not noticing the shadowy figure that had been watching the whole affair. As Bowselta disappeared inside again, Kamek Koopa gave a frustrated snort and turned his broomstick around, speeding off into the night.


	3. The CoAdvisors

Chapter 2: The Co-Advisors

The next few weeks brought a lot of changes to both Bowser and Bowselta's lives. The morning after sparing him, Bowselta told Bowser that she refused to marry him outright, and that they should try to form a friendship before anything else. Bowser had taken it surprisingly well, saying he hadn't really expected she'd let him marry her right off the bat; though it was clear he'd tie the knot with her the second she said "yes", if and when that happened.

Still, a friendship was fine with him for now: it was more than he had ever had with anyone, and he didn't want to ruin it by moving too fast with Bowselta. In fact, Bowser was a bit apprehensive about pushing her into her new advisory position. Since Kamek was gone and his replacement co-advisor wasn't due to arrive for a while, Bowselta would be all Bowser had.

Fortunately she was delighted. She had come to the castle expecting to forcefully make herself the ruler of the Koopa Kingdom, and instead she had found a friend, a home, and a position as the second-in-command of the country. Bowselta was now doubly happy about sparing Bowser.

There was only one downside to the job: Kamek insisted on radioing in on his crystal ball on an almost daily basis asking for Bowser and Bowselta's opinions on every little move he made against Sarasaland. Neither Dragon-Koopa was much help: Bowser would agree with every plan that involved blowing something up and disagree with anything that involved losing ground, or thinning the defenses, or anything like that. Bowselta knew she was a novice at warfare, and to save face she only volunteered information for the one field she had experience in: espionage.

But Kamek rarely found the need for spies, being able to use Magikoopa magic to get most of the information he needed. Instead, he would come up with complicated plots and pester Bowser and Bowselta for mundane little facts or suggestions, all of which he would gleefully shoot down. The truth was, he didn't _really_ want to hear their opinions: he had already set everything up, and nothing they said would change his tactics. The only point of his calls was to harass Bowselta. By pointing out her flaws, whether she was being silent or saying the wrong thing, Kamek hoped to cool Bowser's affection for her.

Unfortunately for the Magikoopa, the plan backfired. Bowser would only get angry at his godfather for wasting their time and berating them without any provocation. Likewise, Bowselta resolved to improve her performance and take away Kamek's ammunition. Soon she was spending hours in the Koopa Castle's library, deep within the ground. Like the permanent records room, the library and many storage rooms had been built into the bedrock itself; as a result, the chambers had survived the collapse of the castle that had taken Bowser's parents from the world. Bowselta could even mark where the rebuilt portion of the narrow staircase leading down to the depths gave way to the old architecture.

But as interesting as that was, Bowselta found the information stored in the library and permanent records much more fascinating. She skimmed through old census books, read up on the accomplishments of her ancestors, and learned the many legends and stories of Dark Land. She also read through volumes of science, math, geography and whatever other subject she felt like. After she had been kicked out of her village she had never gone back to any sort of school, teaching herself to whatever basic skills she needed to get through life. She would take musty old books from school stores to learn basic science and math, and read volumes upon volumes of fiction to improve her language skills. Fortunately she was a protegee, and at age ten she had taught herself more than some high school kids could even attempt to comprehend.

Still, there was only so much textbooks could teach Bowselta, and this library proved it. Countless volumes of encyclopedias; shelves dedicated to the most obscure scientific practices and mathematical theories; entire wings dedicated to fiction and poetry – Bowselta read them all. The library was wonderful and she couldn't believe Bowser had never come down there until she forced him to join her.

Most of the time Bowselta enjoyed the solitude, but every now and then she would want to share her time with Bowser. Sometimes they'd talk, other times they'd read in silence in the library. It was an entire month before they found a way to fully appreciate having each other around.

It had happened by accident, Bowser was once again strolling through the abandoned city when he heard strange noises echoing through the alleyways. He soon found Bowselta as the source, leaping through the air from building to building, smashing down rotting doors and slicing apart the solid metal beams that littered the ground with her bare claws. Bowser was impressed: aside from her firebreath, he had never seen Bowselta strut her stuff, and here she was, leveling buildings that had weathered years of rain, lightning, hot and cold, using nothing more than her own hands and feet.

Bowselta had heard Bowser coming from a mile away, but chose to show off in front of him; he had always bragged about his strength, and it was her turn. Soon they started bickering about who was better, and as words turned to fists, Bowselta came out the winner.

She had been kind and refrained from bloodshed, and the whole ordeal had been fun. She had never practiced fighting with someone, and Bowser had never had the patience for sparring, preferring to simply flame his opponents into submission. But he found the time for Bowselta, and while she thrashed Bowser every time, he enjoyed it. After all, a few bumps and scratches were a small price to pay for the opportunity to roll about on the ground arm in arm with a hot and sweaty female…

But, apart from filling Bowser's head with sordid fantasies and providing him and Bowselta with much needed practice (Bowser in particular became quite an adept fighter within a couple weeks, although not quite as skilled as Bowselta), the sparring session put the two of them in tune with each other.

Through fighting, they learned to read each other's faces, anticipate their next moves, and take advantages of each other's weaknesses. Bowser wasn't that clever and preferred the 'brute force' approach to all problems, while Bowselta preferred convoluted plots and subterfuge to reach her goals. Soon, they learned how to compensate for each other as well as how to take advantage of each other. And as Bowselta continued her library studies, the two Dragon-Koopas became a potent duo, crushing Kamek's attempts to divide them with ease.

His perfect plans were falling short of Bowser and Bowselta's ideas, and Kamek found _himself _on the defensive. In fact, one day after an hour of pointless arguing over the crystal ball, Bowser pointed out to Kamek that all he was proving with his questions was that _he_ was the one who needed the extra help. The next day the co-advisor Kamek had promised to send two months previously arrived. She was an old Magikoopa witch with greying hair and purple robes. Her name was Kammy Koopa, and she was Kamek's twin.

-xxxxx-

Bowser and Bowselta had their misgivings about Kammy, her brother being Kamek, and all. And the feeling was mutual, since Kammy's twin had been telling her for years what a pain in the neck the Koopa Prince was. Before she left, Kamek had warned her about her cunning coworker-to-be, Bowselta; telling Kammy to keep an eye on the Dragon-Koopa, and to make sure she didn't put a single claw out of line.

But, within hours of her arrival, Kammy realized her brother was completely and utterly wrong about Bowser and Bowselta. Sure Bowser was gruff and a bit slow, but there was more to him than the spoilt hothead she had heard so much about. And Bowselta, while extremely antisocial and a tad manipulative, was the cleverest creature Kammy had ever had the pleasure to meet.

Bowser and Bowselta also realized they were wrong, especially after Kammy revealed to them Kamek's true motivation for sending her. She was nothing like her stuffy brother, and made it clear that her newfound loyalty to Bowser and Bowselta would never waver. It turned out she wasn't too happy with Kamek either, as he had tried to _use_ her against the prince and her fellow co-advisor.

But it hadn't always been like that. According to Kammy, she and Kamek were the most skilled Magikoopas in their hometown, and when they were kids they would fly about on their broomsticks and cause mayhem wherever they could. Bowser and Bowselta found it hard to imagine a stiff like Kamek creating havoc for fun (or even having fun at all), just like they found it hard to believe Kammy's hair used to be electric blue, and Kamek's violet. In fact, Bowser demanded to see pictures of the twin Magikoopas in their youth before he would accept Kammy's claim as truth.

The old Magikoopa regaled them with fantastic stories of her and Kamek's childhood. She also told them about how Kamek had eventually grown bored of the Magikoopa nation, and went to join the Koopa Troopas, where he met Bowser's father, who had also been drawn from his home by the glory of battle. Kammy explained that Morton toiled hard in the war against Sarasaland as the Koopa Troopas attempted to claim more land for their territory (which made up most of the border between Dark Land and Sarasaland). She told Bowser and Bowselta that her brother saw great potential and ambition in Morton, and decided to help him out, setting him up with the heir to the Koopa Troopa crown, Princess Clawdia Katrooka. Kammy told them that when Clawdia's mother died and the throne passed to her and Morton, she let her husband wield the brunt of the power, since she was a complete pacifist herself.

Kammy recalled how Morton soon realized the only way he could hope to defeat Sarasaland's vast army was if he had more than Koopa Troopas in his army. So out of their lust for war, Morton and Kamek dreamt of a unified Koopa nation. Of course, they had kept their true motives a secret, using a range of other reasons to convince the other Koopan rulers to come together into one Koopa Kingdom. They lured their neighbours with the promise of new trade opportunities, more food for the masses, better living spaces for the rich, or whatever else would turn their heads. Kammy told them that Morton was given the top seat because it had been his idea, and how he had then ripped all the other Dragon-Koopas of their titles to make sure he kept his position.

It was through this mutual dislike of Morton and Kamek (as well as a plethora of other similarities) that allowed for Kammy to become fast friends with both Dragon-Koopas. She soon started to help Bowselta with her studies, and started taking an almost motherly approach as she groomed Bowser for his eventual kingship. Of course, Kammy included Bowselta on much of her 'crown coaching', as she put it. Because, while Bowselta was only a co-advisor now, it was clear that Bowser wanted to be more than friends with her, and Kammy had a funny feeling the attraction wouldn't be one-sided for long.

-xxxxx-

About a month after Kammy arrived, the temperature dropped to a point where the lava pools surrounding the castle crusted over. But while most Koopas greeted the rainy, chilly winter months with disdain, Bowser's mood would elevate, for as the first storm clouds started mingling with the volcanic smoke, Bowser turned twenty and a third.

In Koopan culture, eight was a lucky number, and years were divided into three seasons. The Mushroomians and Sarasalanders celebrated four seasons: summer, fall, winter and spring; but the pattern didn't work in the mountains of Dark Land. First, they had the dry season, which many still called summer; likewise, many people called the wet season winter. But instead of spring, Dark Land was subjected to the reopening of the lava pools and the mass eruptions that accompanied it as the temperature rose, in a time of year they called the fire season. Since the yearly temperatures never dropped low enough to kill the plants of the Koopa Kingdom, it had no autumn.

Each of the three seasons were four months long, and as a result, it became custom to divide anything pertaining to the calendar by thirds. So, while some spoilt people celebrated their half-birthdays as well as their normal birthdays elsewhere in the world, in Dark Land, the privileged celebrated their third-birthdays.

Bowser was once such prig. For years he had relished getting presents not once but three times a year (plus all the other holidays celebrated across the land, most of which didn't normally require gift giving anyway). But this year was different; for the first time in his life, Bowser didn't want to spoil himself – he had a feeling Bowselta wouldn't approve.

So he decided to keep his third birthday as inconspicuous as possible. He could do without any presents: a quiet day with Bowselta would do just fine. Of course, he could probably request his favorite dinner and not raise suspicion. His mouth watered at the thought of a big juicy Blargg steak, accompanied by roasted popcorn Fuzzies, scrambled Birdo eggs, and perfectly prepared Blooper and Pokey stew.

Bowser licked his lips and turned away from his bedroom window, marching down to the kitchens. On his way, he met up with Bowselta. "Hey, where ya off too?"

"The kitchens," said Bowser. "I had a sudden urge for Blooper and Pokey stew."

"Really," said Bowselta, grinning. "I haven't had that in _ages_."

"You mean, you've actually _had_ it?" gasped Bowser; the dish was one of the most expensive meals in Dark Land, and very few chefs knew how to make it. The mix of the two main ingredients had to be just right, and a dozen herbs had to be used, not to mention tonnes of other ingredients.

"Yep," said Bowselta. "Mom used to make it. It was the only thing she could cook."

"Really?" chuckled Bowser.

Bowselta nodded. "There were two things she was good at: playing the flute, and making that soup. Dad was a bit better off, I think. I don't really remember him doing any chores either, but I don't remember living in a pig sty, so _someone_ must've done the cleaning…"

"Maybe your folks hired a maid," suggested Bowser.

Bowselta shook her head. "No way they'd waste their money on _that_, just on stuff they _didn't_ need."

They both chuckled. As Bowselta read more about her parents in the permanent records and dredged up more memories about them, Viracocha and Clymnestra became the subject of much ridicule for her and Bowser.

They were still grinning when they turned the corner into the Entrance Hallway, but the joke about Bowselta's parents was instantly put out of their minds.

"SURPRISE!" called Kammy, swooping down on Bowser and Bowselta, screeching to a halt less than a foot from their startled faces. "HAPPY TWENTY-THIRD BIRTHDAY! YOUR OLDERNESS!"

"Huh? I thought you just turned twenty a few months ago," frowned Bowselta, looking over at Bowser questioningly.

"I did," said Bowser, turning back to Kammy. "I don't think you phrased that right."

"Oh," said Kammy, frowning. "Heh, sorry."

"Hello! I'd still like an explanation," said Bowselta impatiently, looking past Kammy into the hallway and the multicolored balloons, streamers and various other decorations that now filled it.

"Uh, it's my third-birthday," said Bowser sheepishly.

"Yeah, and why have you been so quiet about it this year? Kamek told me – or rather complained about how you'd always make big fusses about your third-birthdays," said Kammy.

"Uh, well, times change," said Bowser, looking into the Throne Room. "And you really shouldn't have gone to all this trouble."

"Aww don't worry about it, Your Humbleness," said Kammy, leading Bowser and Bowselta into the large room. "I've never gotten to plan a party before, much less a _surprise_ party: it was quite fun!"

The Dragon-Koopas looked about the room; Bowselta's gaze fell to a large pile of presents surrounding the throne.

Kammy flew up beside her. "Those are from the guards and lots of the others who work here. It was thanks to them I set this up, they were beginning to search for present ideas a while ago, it's what alerted me to this special day."

"Yeah, thanks for letting me in on the secret," grumbled Bowselta.

"Oh, I thought Bowser told you…"

Bowselta shook her head. She was pretty sure Bowser hadn't wanted to tell anyone about his third-birthday.

-xxx-

But despite Bowser's initial apprehension about the party, the day turned out pretty well. Most of the gifts were things like Piranha Plant spores and new Bullet Bills that Bowser could give right back to the guards to add to the castle defenses. Kammy's present was much more interesting: a bottle of _Shell Dye_. She explained that an old acquaintance of hers worked at a novelty potion brewing company, and had sent her a sample of their new product. _Shell Dye_ apparently changed the colour of Koopa (and Dragon-Koopa) shells to any colour the user wanted; all they'd have to do was poor a bit of it onto a cloth and wipe it on the shell while thinking of the colour they wanted it to turn, and it would do just that. To test it out, Bowselta waited until Bowser had his back turned and smeared a streak of hot pink down his back. Fortunately for Bowser, the dye would come out the first time the shell got wet.

Bowser fondly went over the day's events as he and Bowselta staggered up the stairs to their rooms, their bellies bursting with Blargg, Fuzzies, Bloopers, Pokeys and half a dozen other delicacies Kammy had the chefs make for dinner. It had been the best third-birthday party Bowser ever had, and he had been almost sorry to tell everyone it was the last one they'd have to put together. Bowselta may not have been as unimpressed as Bowser had expected, but he still thought celebrating himself three times a year was a bit much.

"Fun day, wasn't it?" said Bowselta, bringing Bowser out of his thoughts.

"Oh, yeah – really fun," agreed Bowser, nodding.

"Sorry I didn't get you anything, but it was a bit short-notice," said Bowselta.

"Don't worry about it," shrugged Bowser. "It's not like I didn't get enough presents anyway."

Bowselta smiled. "Yeah, I guess… But still, if you can think of anything you still want…"

"Well…" said Bowser, grinning mischievously at Bowselta. "You could always give me a kiss…"

"Yeah, or I could _not_," stated Bowselta, smirking good naturally.

"I figured you'd say that," sighed Bowser, a smile still on his face. "But it never hurts to try."

Bowselta nodded as they reached her room; Bowser's was a little further down the hall. "Well, see ya tomorrow, Bowser," said Bowselta as she opened her door.

"Yeah, 'night Bowselta," said Bowser, yawning widely as he slowly walked down the hall.

Bowselta grinned at his retreating form: the swash of pink stood out against the natural green of his shell like a sore thumb. She wondered if he'd remember to wash it out – she'd find out in the morning.

-xxxxx-

"You sure it's today?"

"Yes Your Apprehensiveness, I looked it up myself."

"But are you _sure_?"

"Why didn't you just ask her _yourself_, then you wouldn't be so worried."

"I _tried_ to ask her, but she wouldn't tell me!"

"Well, I'm sure it's today. I could go get the records book if you'd like, but by then she probably would've left…"

"Okay, _fine_, but if you're wrong, I'll _kill_ you."

"Fair enough, Your Nervousness."

"I'm NOT nervous!"

But in truth, Prince Bowser Koopa _was_ nervous. He looked down the deserted hallway at Bowselta's door and gulped. He had never been this worried in his life. What if Kammy was wrong about the date? What if he got her the wrong thing?

"Well, then _go_," said Kammy, giving Bowser's leg a push.

He shot her a look, but followed her lead and slowly approached the door. He knew he shouldn't be so worried about giving Bowselta a birthday present, but he was.

After his third-birthday, Bowser had asked Bowselta when her actual birthday was. She had refused to tell him, saying it didn't matter and she hadn't ever really celebrated it. Bowser had still wanted to know the date, and had Kammy find anything that could help him. He was worried that Bowselta's birthday had already passed; all he knew about it was that it was a few months after his, and quite a few months had passed since he turned twenty.

It turned out that by a few months, Bowselta had meant _one_ month. Bowser felt so bad about missing her birthday, so Kammy had suggested giving her a third-birthday present. Bowser had been against the idea at first, but seeing as though they had just had his own third-birthday party, it wouldn't seem inappropriate. Besides, it would only be this one time: next year he'd celebrate Bowselta's _actual_ birthday. But that was impossible this time around, and a "third-birthday present" sounded a bit more classy than a "belated birthday present".

So Bowser had spent the last couple weeks getting a present ready. Knowing Bowselta, a party would not make her happy, and a big dinner was out of the question since her favorite foods were the same as Bowser's, and they had just had them last month on Bowser's special day.

As Bowser neared the door he heard Kammy conjure up her broom and fly away. Now he was standing alone; there was no going back. He raised his left arm and was about to knock when the doorknob started to rattle. Bowser hopped back as Bowselta swung the door open; it nearly knocked the long thin box from Bowser's arms.

"Bowser? What are you doing? What's in the box?" asked Bowselta curiously.

"Um, well, the box is a present, I'm here to, uh, give it to you," muttered Bowser, blushing – he had not stammered in front of Bowselta for months.

"A present? What for?"

"For your third-birthday," explained Bowser hastily. "Or rather, your actual birthday, but it's a bit late, so, uh, here."

Bowser held out the box to Bowselta. She couldn't help but remember the night Bowser gave her the picture of her parents. He had been just as nervous then as he was now.

"Come in," said Bowselta with a wry smile, turning back into her room and carrying the box to her bed. There were a couple tables in her room, but Bowselta felt like sitting on her mattress instead. Bowser felt like standing, and hovered by the door.

Bowselta used the claw on her index finger to slice open the plain brown paper covering the box, and opened it. Her eyes widened at what was inside: a glittering silver flute. Dragon-Koopa flutes were very different from their human counterparts: they looked more like giant recorders than anything else, but with only six holes on the top, and a single thumb hole on the instrument's underside. They also sounded different, reaching lilting pitches and tones made possible by a strange interaction between the Dragon-Koopa's internal magic and the flute itself (similar to the way Magikoopa wands connected to their wielders).

She took it gingerly in her claws and held it up, watching as the light played across the flawless contours of the finger holes. Because of how the flute required Dragon-Koopa energy to work, they were quite hard to make and had always been rare and expensive as a result. And a flute like this was probably worth a small fortune; it looked like her mother's flute. It was one of the few things Clymnestra had managed to take with her when she and Viracocha were kicked out of their castle. Bowselta could blearily remember how it used to sparkle on the mantle, or in her mother's hands when she played it. But Bowselta hadn't seen that flute for years – not since she was driven from the Village.

Bowselta looked up at Bowser. Why did all his gifts have to be so _perfect_? "Thanks, it's… beautiful."

Bowser smiled. He knew Bowselta wasn't usually one to care about appearances, but he had remembered her telling him about her mother's flute. He knew she missed it. "I'm glad you like it."

"Like it? I _love_ it!" grinned Bowselta, as she examined the flute. "But… how in the world did you get a hold of one this… perfect. I thought they didn't make these anymore."

"They don't, so Kammy helped me track down an old one. 'Turns out there's only one decent one left in the country. It belonged to some guy's private collection. He apparently bought it at an auction a few years back, it was run by a company known as The Factory."

Bowselta's head snapped up. She couldn't believe her ears. She looked back down at the instrument in her hands; it wasn't just a flute, it was her _mother's_ flute.

Bowser watched Bowselta's face brighten in amazement. "Well, I'll leave you two to get reacquainted," with that, Bowser slipped through the door and disappeared.

Bowselta didn't want him to go, she had so many questions. Like _how _he found the flute, and how he got it from its owner. Did he just order it to be handed over? She doubted he'd pay for it – it would've cost thousands if not millions of coins.

Then, amongst the curiosity, Bowselta felt guilty. Bowser had given her back something she'd never thought she'd see again, _again_! First her parents, now her flute. And she hadn't given him a thing, except for a few bruises from their sparring matches.

But she knew how to change that. She knew the perfect present to give Bowser – something that'd mean as much to him as his gifts meant to her. Bowselta gently set the flute back in its box and ran out of her room. Bowser was gone from the hallway, but she could hear his heavy footsteps echoing around the corner. She dashed after the sound and rounded the bend in time to see his shadow ascending the stairs.

"Bowser, wait!" she called, sprinting into the stairwell.

"What is it?" asked Bowser, turning around to face Bowselta.

She didn't say anything but bounded up the stairs three at a time. Then, when she landed on the step below Bowser's she stopped, and standing on tiptoes, she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Happy belated third-birthday."

-xxxxx-

After that day, everything changed. But not as noticeably as you'd expect. Bowselta pretended the kiss meant nothing to her, and instead of pestering her about it and pushing her away, Bowser had the sense to play along and pretend it never happened.

But it _did_ happen, and they both knew it. Their talks inadvertently became deeper, Bowselta's studying sessions became interrupted by the Koopa Prince's presence more often, and the sparing sessions started lasting longer and longer. Kammy heckled the pair that beating each other up until midnight was hardly a romantic date activity, and Bowser quickly shut her up with a well-aimed flare. Kammy was lucky, though: if Bowser hadn't reacted so quickly, Bowselta would have been the one dishing out punishment, and her firebreath was still more damaging than the prince's.

Unfortunately, Kammy wasn't the only one to pick up on Bowser and Bowselta's rising emotions, for Kamek soon got winds of the rumours surrounding the pair. He was furious; Kammy had totally betrayed him and was even trying to get the two troublemakers together. Now it was once again up to him to set the Koopa Prince straight, but first he'd have to get back in close contact with Bowser.

So to that effect, Kamek staged a full-fledged invasion of Sarasaland. His goal was a small cluster of eight Dark Land mountains known as the Koopalingas, which Sarasaland had seized from the Koopa Kingdom shortly after King Morton's death. It had been a cowardly move, and Kamek had always wanted to do something about it; but Bowser had always been too lazy to care. The Koopalingas were taken before his hatching – it wasn't like it was a black spot on _his_ record, just on Kamek's pride.

Therefore, when word of Kamek's exploits reached Bowser, Bowselta and Kammy's ears, they weren't suspicious about any ulterior motives. Nor were they surprised when Kamek asked for Bowser to come up and assist in the effort, while leaving Kammy and Bowselta behind to look over normal Koopa Kingdom affairs. Apparently Kamek managed to take over half of the mountain range, but despite his initial success, the Sarasalanders were slowly pushing the Koopas back out.

Bowser had no choice but to leave, taking some new troops up with him as backup for Kamek's militia. At first Kamek played it cool, and together he and Bowser were able to fight back effectively, halting Sarasaland's advances. But, although the stalemate wouldn't last very long, after a couple days of being up north, Bowser started making plans to return south.

Kamek tried to convince him otherwise, but Bowser was adamant. He said he was worried about leaving Kammy in-charge of the country for too long, but Kamek knew it was Bowser's other co-advisor that was on his mind. The one who had convinced Bowser to send Kamek away, the one who had sat back and forced Kamek's sister to take all the governing responsibilities, the one who had tried to kill Kamek's 'beloved' prince…

"What are you _talking_ about?" asked Bowser incredulously when Kamek had expressed his objections about Bowselta Parakay.

"The first night she was in the castle, she snuck down to your room and came _this_ close to chopping your head off," repeated Kamek, holding his thumb and index finger as close as he could without connecting them.

Bowser looked stupefied as he finally assimilated the information. He then shook himself out of his stupefaction. "Wait… _what_?"

"She. Tried. To. _Kill_. You," said Kamek, speaking each word separately so Bowser would understand.

"I got that," growled Bowser. "What I wanna know is how _you_ know."

"What does it matter _how_ I know? The point is, that evil tramp was going to kill you and take your throne! She is just using you to meet her ends! And I say we should put and end to that."

"You're a bit late," scoffed Bowser.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Bowselta's not out to get me anymore. She likes me now," said Bowser, smiling happily.

Kamek's face, on the other hand, was anything but happy. "But- but you don't know that _for sure_!"

"Yes, I do. Believe it or not, I'm a fairly good judge of character," bragged Bowser.

"Oh yeah?" sneered Kamek. "Then why didn't you realize she was going to kill you that first night?"

"She _wasn't_ going to kill me," said Bowser. "I mean, I did sorta feel a bit, un-at-ease with her around, but I could see it in her eyes that no matter how much she hated me, she wouldn't kill me."

"Famous last words," growled Kamek. "Don't you see, she's a _femme fatale_ – she's dangerous! How could you just let her into the castle knowing something was wrong about her?"

"Oh yeah?" huffed Bowser. "Well what about _you_? Aside from badgering me about her shady past, you didn't do much. You could have said she was out to kill me – who knows, I may have _actually_ paid attention to you. But nooooo, you just left me out to dry!"

"I didn't _leave_, you sent me away," protested Kamek.

"Yeah well," stammered Bowser, before changing the subject. "You still haven't told me how you know that Bowselta tried to kill me. For all _I_ know you're making the whole story up so I'll kick her out and give you back you're place at the castle."

"I didn't make it up!" said Kamek indignantly. "I saw it in my crystal ball."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, but since you sent me away, I couldn't try to stop her," continued Kamek.

"Huh? Wait a minute, you saw it happening _live_?" asked Bowser, his eyes flashing.

"Um, yes," said Kamek, though there was some worry in his voice. "How did you think I saw it?"

"I dunno, looking into the past or something," shrugged Bowser, still eyeing Kamek suspiciously.

The Magikoopa squirmed under the prince's gaze; nothing good ever followed _that_ look. "Well, I mean, it might as well've been in the past, because by the time I would've arrived at the scene, the deed would've been done."

"Actually, the deed wouldn't've been done 'cause Bowselta _didn't _kill me," said Bowser. "And don't you have the ability to _teleport_?"

"Um, no, you're mistaken," lied Kamek, feeling sweat trickling down his forehead behind his glasses.

"No, I don't think I am," growled Bowser. "You see, Kammy has been briefing Bowselta and me on _all_ the tricks you Magikoopas can do. She's been teaching us how ta do some of 'em too. I'm pretty good with the spells that change stuff – like turning people to stone and whatnot – but Bowselta's specialty is more… blowing stuff up. You should come visit us sometime: we'll be glad to give you a little 'demonstration'."

"Is that a threat?" hissed Kamek.

"Think of it as a warning," growled Bowser. "And be glad I'm not gonna have you executed for lying to me. It's just, we go way back, and you've manipulated me so many times, simply killing you now wouldn't be much of a punishment."

Kamek paled. "S- so what _would_ be an appropriate punishment?"

"You know better than I do," shrugged Bowser, turning away. "Though Bowselta found this _interesting_ book about criminal torture techniques. Dad's favorite method was flogging right? Or was it beating? I always get the two confused... Anyway, just be thankful _I'm_ not so hot on that sorta punishment. Try to keep that in mind next time you go telling people how you wished I was just like good ol' King Morty."

Bowser reached the door without a second glance at Kamek. Outside, his Clown Car was all set for departure. Bowser smiled: the sooner he got back to Koopa Castle the better – he needed to speak with Bowselta.

-xxx-

Bowser was delighted to find Kammy hadn't let the kingdom go to pot in his absence. This was probably due to the fact Bowser usually had her handle all the important stuff anyway. He had done the same to Kamek; his advisor would do all the work and he would sign the papers (after reading them, of course). In the Mushroom Kingdom, young Princess Peach would participate in lots of public showboating stuff, like opening bridges, kissing babies, launching ships – that sorta fluff. Personally, Bowser would rather do all the paperwork _himself_ than be subjected to anything like that.

In fact, he'd rather do paperwork than talk to Bowselta right now. He swallowed hard; this was almost as difficult as giving her the flute. But then he had been rewarded with a kiss and beautiful music wafting through his window from hers. Who knew, maybe this would turn out just as well… He doubted it.

Bowser took a deep breath and opened the door to the Entrance Hallway. Inside, Kammy was chatting happily to Bowselta, who was sitting sideways in Bowser's throne, her legs bent over one arm rest with the other propping up her back. Had she not been sharpening her nails, Bowser would have found the pose quite stirring; but since he was facing a difficult conversation with her, the last thing he needed was to worry about her _extra_-deadly claws.

They both looked up when the door opened.

"Your Returnedness!" cried Kammy.

"Bowser!" Bowselta's face broke into a smile as she pushed herself from the throne and set down her wetstone before coming over to greet the Koopa Prince with Kammy.

"Hi guys – er – girls," said Bowser, half-smiling.

"You should have sent word you were coming back so soon, I would've had the guards prepare something…" said Kammy.

"That's _why_ I didn't call ahead," chuckled Bowser. "I'm trying to get my ego in check, remember? What would've been the point of not having any more third-birthdays if you're going to throw a bazillion 'welcome home parties'!"

"Not a bazillion parties," explained Kammy. "Just one."

"Yeah, yeah, just one now. But soon we'll be having shindigs every time Bowselta and I come back from the old city. _Then_ we'll start having 'farewell parties' _before_ we leave. And who knows what other things you're gnarled old mind'll think up? 'Wake up parties?' 'Night-night parties?' '_Christmas Parties_?'"

"Now now, give me _some_ credit," grinned Kammy.

"Not in your life, Granny. Your very loooong life," sneered Bowser.

They both chuckled. But after a moment, Bowser turned to Bowselta, who had been watching the whole exchange with a smile. He sighed, there was no point delaying the inevitable.

Bowselta noticed. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," said Bowser, as his co-advisor raised her eyebrow (and thus, the rim of her glasses) suspiciously. "Um, could I have a word with you?"

Bowselta and Kammy shared a quick glance. The Dragon-Koopa looked back to Bowser questioningly. "Sure…"

Bowser nodded. "Okay, uh after you?" He led Bowselta out of the Entrance Hallway and into one of the adjoining corridors. The sun was setting red on the horizon between the peaks of some nearby volcanoes, slumbering peacefully in the winter's cool.

"Beat it! This is private!" bellowed Bowser at the pair of Hammer Bros. that had been patrolling the hall. They muttered their apologies and scurried off to the Entrance Hall, Bowser slammed the door behind them to make a point.

Bowselta smirked. "Hallway conversations are not private."

"They are if I say they are!" snorted Bowser.

Bowselta's smirk widened as she nodded. "Well, that changes everything."

"Yes, it does," agreed Bowser.

A brief silence filled the room. As usual, it was Bowselta who broke it. "So what exactly is this 'private' conversation about?"

"Uhhh…" Bowser trailed off. Bowselta looked nicer than usual in the sunset. The light caught her crimson eyes and made them look as if they were filled with dancing flames, all of which were now burning into him without remorse. Bowser forced himself not to falter and plowed on. "Uh, what I mean is, we've known each other for a while."

"Six months," offered Bowselta, always a stickler for details.

"Right," continued Bowser, "and a lot has changed for me in those six months. Everything I know has practically been turned around. I used to feel like no one really wanted me, and until recently I didn't care. But now that I have you and Kammy, it's different. I'm different. I know that deep down, no one _really _changes. I'd like to say I'm not the horny hothead you met all those months ago, but that'd be a lie. And I don't wanna lie to you. Because… I… I trust you. And that's hard for me. I used to trust Kamek, but he was just using me all these years…"

Bowser looked at Bowselta pleadingly; she looked more upset than happy. It cut at Bowser like a knife, but he couldn't stop now. "And what's more. I mean, you probably already know this, and it may sound really cheesy, but I L-"

"Bowser, wait!" Bowselta sighed. "Don't say anything else."

"But-"

"No 'buts'," said Bowselta sternly, though her voice was filled with sadness. "You're wrong about me. I don't deserve your trust. Especially all you've done for me. You've shown me kindness I've never been shown before, and you've asked nothing in return. You never forced me to tell you anything; you've let me tell you on my own. Even when you found out I was the Shadow Thief-"

"The what?" asked Bowser, feigning ignorance.

"Don't play stupid with me, Bowser," snapped Bowselta. But her anger quickly melted. "You let me grow so near you, even when you knew I wasn't exactly… well, actually more… er… Ah forget it! Even after you knew I was downright dangerous."

Bowser squirmed uncomfortably as Bowselta turned and rested her arms on a nearby windowsill. It was like she already knew what Kamek had told Bowser, and what _he_ wanted to tell her.

"_I've_ taken advantage of you, _I've_ used you. I don't know what you've been thinking all this time, but the real reason I came here was to… to kill you."

Bowselta closed her eyes, but did not get the answer she was expecting: "I know."

"You… w- what?" gasped Bowselta, wheeling around to face Bowser.

"Yeah, Kamek told me – he saw it, _magically_," explained Bowser. "But I had my suspicions ever since we first met."

Bowselta's eyes flashed. "You mean, you knew from the start that I wanted to kill you and take your throne?"

"Um, sorta…" said Bowser, wondering why Bowselta was getting angry.

"So, does that mean all that, that _nice_ stuff you did for me that day was just to- to- to _stop_ me? To charm me into sparing your filthy little hide?"

"What? No! Of course not!" said Bowser, cowering from Bowselta's fury. "I was being sincerely nice, I could just sense, you know, _some_ hostility-"

Bowselta's eyes narrowed menacingly.

"But, but also a lot more. L- l- like loneliness. To tell the truth, I didn't even think about trying to stop you from killing me. Why? Because I just _knew_ you wouldn't. Don't you see? I love you!"

The Dragon-Koopas stared at each other. Bowser's heart was hammering in his throat, he couldn't _believe_ he had just said that. He was planning on telling Bowselta that he _liked_ her. What he said wasn't a lie, but it had gone unsaid for so long, and he didn't think he was ready for that to change, or that _she_ was ready, for that matter.

Bowselta felt her anger and suspicion leaving her. As she searched Bowser's face in the dying light she could tell he was telling the truth. Just like he could tell she wouldn't kill him when they first met?

"Um, sorry," mumbled Bowser after a moment. "I'll just… go now."

"No, wait," said Bowselta, reaching out and taking hold of Bowser's right arm.

He looked down at her hand; she wasn't really gripping him. He knew from their sparring matches, that when Bowselta grabbed hold of your arm, you knew. And more often than not, your doctors knew too. But not this time. Bowser could feel Bowselta's talons on his skin, their freshly sharpened tips resting on his flesh. The female could just squeeze her hand, and the dagger-like edges of her claws would slice through Bowser's thick scales like they were Paratroopa wings.

But he knew she wouldn't. His heart was hammering in his chest for another reason. Their eyes met, and there was something in Bowselta's face that had never been there before. She was accepting the truth: she had loved Bowser all along. But it wasn't that fairy tale 'love at first sight' business – her feelings had been buried amongst years of hate, sadness and mistrust. But it _had_ been there: it let Bowselta see Bowser as more than just a hotheaded idiot, it had let her spare him, and now it was letting her trust him too.

And as Bowser slowly turned around and raised his hands to Bowselta's face, she knew it wasn't just his hormones guiding him. She smiled at the feel of his hands on the skin of her cheeks, and closed her eyes as he drew her foreword; their lips meeting for the first time as the last rays of the sun disappeared behind the mountains.

-xxxxx-

That time there was no point in hiding their feelings after the fact. Soon Bowser and Bowselta became nearly inseparable in their waking hours, either sparing in the abandoned city, or 'studying' in the library. They did a fairly good job of playing it cool in public, but it was only a matter of time before their relationship came to light. Unsurprisingly, it was Kammy who discovered Bowser and Bowselta's secret – by walking in on them during a heated make-out session in the permanent records room.

Although Kammy paid dearly for forgetting to knock before entering, she, Bowser and Bowselta would always look back and laugh at the memory. Kammy would often say that was the first and only time she ever saw Bowser _and_ Bowselta blush the same shade of red as their eyes; they would often say it was the first and only time Kammy weathered two simultaneous fire blasts without losing consciousness.

Despite receiving second-degree burns for her trouble, Kammy was delighted about her discovery, and she started to corner either Dragon-Koopa during one of their alone spells to offer courtship advise. Neither took it, but Kammy didn't mind: she was so proud of both Bowser and Bowselta and knew it was just a matter of time before the Koopa Kingdom got the king and queen it deserved.

Up north, her brother was assimilating the news with a much darker mood. Everything Kamek had done to spit Bowser and Bowselta apart had backfired, but he had a feeling that if he took a more literal approach, he might succeed yet. And the ongoing war over the Koopalinga mountains was a perfect excuse. As Sarasaland and the Koopa Kingdom clashed, land was constantly given and taken and there was no end in sight as both sides lost appalling numbers of goods and soldiers. So, although Kamek would rather fight until the mountains were his, he figured that calling for peace would force Bowser to come back north for some longer periods.

The Koopa Prince was far from happy about the arrangements, but Kamek didn't mind. Bowser had him worried with that veritable death threat, but Kamek figured it was idle and got over it quite quickly. But, as the prince pointed out repeatedly, the Magikoopa was treading on very thin ice – Bowser _hated_ negotiating with Sarasalanders.

They were nuts about pomp and circumstance, so the peace talks had to proceed just as Sarasaland culture dictated. This meant lengthy and pointless talks at the Koopa's Northern Castle, with each 'meeting' lasting for days, if not weeks. Bowser, whose patience was already short, ended up botching most of the talks with temperamental outbursts, and while this let him return south quicker than expected, it also meant another week of Sarasalandish dribble in the near future.

In the past, Kamek would help Bowser through the negotiations, but this time around, the old Magikoopa wasn't cooperating. He told Bowser it was for his own good, and that he had to learn to handle things on his own. But the prince could see right through him, and complained to Kammy.

Soon she started accompanying Bowser up north, leaving Bowselta in charge of the kingdom. Once Bowser had started attending the negotiations, Bowselta had renewed her studies with more vigor than ever, determined to help him through the ordeal. By the end of the first month of peace talks, Bowselta could out-govern Bowser by a long shot. Although her temper was as short as Bowser's, she had a bit more self-control, and as a result, she was better at solving small disputes. Thanks to her studying, Bowselta also knew more about Dark Land protocol than Bowser, and things ran as smooth as ever under her direction.

Still, Bowselta disliked sitting by and watching Kamek drag Bowser and Kammy up north every couple weeks. As she listened to their complaints, she couldn't help but wish she was there beside them. The only reason Kammy went north each time was because they all knew Kamek would make things ten times more difficult if Bowser was accompanied by his paramour, and it made her blood boil. Although, Bowselta _did_ have to admit that viewing the whole ordeal from a distance probably painted her a clearer picture of the situation than if she was mired in the frustrating negotiations.

So far, the front line split the Koopalingas so that the Koopas occupied five of the mountains, with Sarasaland maintaining a hold on the remaining three – an allotment they refused to be content with. They had lost most of the land in the dispute, and demanded they get at least two thirds of the Koopalingas, whether they were given to them in the peace talks, or taken in battle. But this was not going to happen: while Bowser didn't really want any more land, he refused to give up any of the mountains his troops had sacrificed so much to reclaim. So the talks went back and forth, neither side giving ground (literally).

But finally, after Bowser, Kammy and Kamek spent a particularly long peace talk with the aging King of Sarasaland in his faraway castle, Bowselta decided to put an end to it.

It was a sunny day and Bowser and Bowselta had gone out to explore the mountains around the abandoned city, eventually stumbling across a secluded little hollow near a stream. Here they took a break from their walking and had a sparring match amongst the sparse blades of grass and sucking mud that covered the ground. It was strange for Bowselta to fight like this: the mud preventing her from using speed to stop Bowser. In fact, he actually managed to catch _her_ off balance, sending her sprawling backwards into the muck and throwing himself down on top of her to keep her there.

"Wow, you actually won for a change," said Bowselta, smiling up at Bowser.

"Wow, you weren't actually trying to beat me," grinned Bowser.

"Not exactly," smirked Bowselta. Muddy or not, if she had wanted to beat him, she could have. But there were much better things to do in the warm mud than beat each other up, like spit-swapping. In fact, they may have gotten around to swapping other bodily fluids had Bowser not broken off their heated embrace with a sigh.

"What is it?" groaned Bowselta, untangling her limbs from Bowser's.

"King Floral wants another audience with me," muttered Bowser, avoiding Bowselta's eyes.

"Has anything been arranged?" asked Bowselta.

"No."

"Then why don't you invite him back here?" suggested Bowselta.

"Invite him _here_?"

"Why not?" siad Bowselta. "You've gone to his place: he should return the favour. Especially after he refused to come to all those other negotiations up north."

"He never went because he doesn't trust us Koopas," explained Bowser. "He figures that the second he sets foot in our land we'll kill him in cold blood."

"Ugh, humans are the most _irritating_ species in the _world_," groaned Bowselta, rolling her eyes. "Why would we waste out time killing Floral? He's _ancient_; all we'd be doing is cutting off a couple years from his life, if not less. Besides, his wife doesn't have to come, and neither does young Princess Daisy…"

"Yeah… Well…I'll _try_ to convince him to come here, but no promises," said Bowser, rolling over to lie on his back in the mud with a fatalistic sigh.

-xxx-

A week later, King Floral marched into Koopa Castle. The fire season was in full throttle and he wrinkled his nose at the overpowering sent of brimstone created by the bubbling lava pools in and around the citadel. He regretted coming to Bowser's Castle, but the Koopa Prince had been adamant about it, as if the location really meant something to him personally. Still, Floral hadn't asked questions, and after the proper Sarasalandish ceremonies had been observed, he, Bowser and their respective advisors had locked themselves in a room and sat down for seven straight hours of negotiations.

There were no breaks. Floral had insisted they would not leave until the Koopalinga dispute had finally been settled. Like Bowser, he was tired of the fruitless peace talks wasting his time. Floral hoped Bowser would be less defensive on his home turf and be willing to comply to Sarasaland's needs; maybe he would even bring in some of his residential aids into the talks – perhaps they could show the Koopa Prince reason. But when they all sat down, the Koopa Kingdom was still being represented by Bowser, his pair of Magikoopas, and no one else, while Floral was backed by the entire Sarasaland Royal Council – six elected politicians, each a representative of a different species.

But Floral wasn't the only one surprised by the arrangements: Bowselta had waited until the day of the negotiations to inform Bowser that she wasn't going to sit around and waste her time on the King of Sarasaland and his merry band of stiffs. Bowser had begged and pleaded with her; he knew she had gotten good at solving others' disputes, and she had always been great at manipulating those around her. But Bowselta still refused to sit through the ordeal, and she also refused to tell Bowser why.

So the talk had gone the same way as all the others before it: pointless bickering and posturing, but with the added bonus of being held in a castle that smelled like farts. Nerves ran high, and as people started shouting and getting ready to storm out, Bowselta (who had been eavesdropping from outside the door the entire time) came to the rescue.

After dispatching the tired guards, Bowselta took out a little golden key. She had stolen it from a Magikoopa village as a child, and it was endowed with magic that could open any lock – it was the ultimate skeleton key.

Bowselta threw the door open, entering the room amidst the blinding glare of the setting sun. "Hello everyone, sorry I'm late."

As the doors swung closed behind Bowselta, King Floral stammered out a response. "Who are you? And what gives you the right to barge in here uninvited?"

"My name is Bowselta Parakay, I am Prince Bowser Koopa's third co-advisor, and I am here on his request. But prior commitments have delayed my arrival."

"I'm sorry miss, but I've never heard of you before," grumbled an old Koopa-like Nokobon.

"I usually work in the background – handling the little things while Bowser's out," explained Bowselta.

"Fine, fine, but you still owe us an explanation on your tardiness at this meeting," huffed King Floral.

"I wouldn't want to bore you with details, since you've all been here so long," said Bowselta faking her consideration for Sarasaland's king. "And, keeping that in mind, I will cut to the chase. These negotiations have been going on for nearly three months, and that's far too long. Now, I know you may not appreciate me coming into it all now, but my disassociation from the dispute has worked to my advantage, since I now see that the main obstacle to us reaching an agreement is pride."

This comment was met with a flurry of murmurs. Bowselta cleared her throat to silence the room, and continued. "We Koopas refuse to give up land because we have lost so much gaining it; that, and the fact that this land was originally ours to begin with-"

"Now wait just a second, you're talking about ancient history, those mountains have been ours since before you were born," protested King Floral.

"Yes, but recent events have seemed to reopen some old scars," with that her eyes flicked to Kamek. He glared back at her, shaking with fury at her impudence. She paid him no mind and looked back at the visiting dignitaries as she continued. "As for you Sarasalanders, you don't want to weather a loss as large as five mountains. You want to end this on your terms, and if you still have more of the Koopalingas despite all we've lost to gain some of it, in the long run you'll be seen as the victors of the tie. That's respectable, but as I said before, we aren't going to cooperate with your current demands."

"And yet you patronize us?" scoffed a Pionpi warrior.

"No," said Bowselta. "I am just stating the facts. Your demands will not be met, so I have a better solution." With that she walked around the table to the overhead display of the Koopalingas. She set the package she was carrying down on the table and took out a red marker, tracing a line onto the map as she explained her idea, "we will split the Koopalingas right down the middle. Four mountains for us, four for you. That way _we_ don't have to lose that much ground, and _you_ still would have ended thing on _your_ terms, since the border would be drawn along here, instead of at the front – along the line we both agreed on, instead of the line our armies drew for us."

She stopped and looked around the room. King Floral was talking to his advisors in a low hiss, and Kamek was arguing with Kammy while Bowser sat silently between them, looking at Bowselta. She smiled slightly, and he nodded; she was right: this time, he would have to swallow his pride and let his troops fall back.

King Floral hushed his advisors and addressed Bowselta. "We will _consider_ your offer."

"Fine," shrugged Bowselta. "But I guarantee you will not find another arrangement that both you and the prince will agree on. So you can either agree to the terms now, or after another few months of negotiations."

-xxx-

An hour later King Floral was leading his party back across the pathway connecting Koopa Castle to the mainland, where a jetcraft waited to take them back to Sarasaland. Bowselta's closing comment had persuaded Floral to agree to her proposal. And if that wasn't good enough, she had also taken the liberty to have the appropriate paperwork drawn up. After copies of the treaty were passed out from Bowselta's package, all the group needed to do was read the one page document over and sign on the dotted line. Kamek had been the most reluctant of the group to put down his name, but a fiery snort from Bowser had forced his hand.

Like the Sarasalanders, Kamek was gone, having left the castle in a towering rage the moment the meeting was adjourned. Now Bowselta strutted through the corridors with Bowser close behind, frantically thanking her for ending the peace talks.

"No seriously, that was _amazing_," oozed Bowser as Bowselta led him into her darkened room. The sun had set a while ago, and the room was lit by the red glow of the lava pools far below the window. Bowselta clicked on the light (while the Koopas often used torches to light the corridors, most of the rooms had electric lighting as well).

Bowselta roller her eyes. "I know, you've already told me, like, a dozen times."

"You deserve the kudos," insisted Bowser. "King Floral has never agreed with a treaty with us. I mean, sure we lost some of our land, but if you think about it, we started with none of the Koopalingas on our side of the border, so we still – technically – are the winners… I guess…"

"Yep, in the end we're up four mountains," said Bowselta, walking around the bed and standing beside her desk.

"Yeah… You know, I think it's the biggest victory the Koopa Kingdom's had during my reign," mused Bowser. "And it's all because of you."

"It was nothing," shrugged Bowselta.

"No, it wasn't nothing," said Bowser earnestly. "And if there's _anything_ I can do to make it up to you-"

"Actually, there is something…" said Bowselta, picking up another package from her desk and tossing it to Bowser.

He opened it and saw it was filled with blueprints. "What's this?"

"The plans for three airplanes: one propeller plane and two jets. Your Clown Car's okay, but it's more or less a one-person vehicle, and it's not the fastest chopper around. I want those built ASAP, so then we both can go travelling."

"Uh, sure, whatever you say," said Bowser, closing the package. "Well… If you want to get started tomorrow I guess I can go down to the metal shops and drop these plans off now, so, um, night."

Bowser turned around, he had no clue why he was stammering. That hadn't happened in months, it was like something was clogging up his brain.

"Wait a minute, you still need to pay me back for the fourth mountain," said Bowselta.

"Oh, sorry, I-" but whatever Bowser was going to say was lost as he caught sight of what was behind him. Bowselta was lying on her belly on top of the bed; her head propped up by her left arm, while she twirled her charm around her right index finger. Bowser had _never_ seen her not wearing her charm, not when they were sparring, not when they were swimming, not when they were squirming around in the mud, not ever.

And the effect was startling, as Bowser was reduced to pointlessly opening and closing his mouth, trying to speak, but failing miserably. Bowselta laughed and rolled onto her back suggestively, effortlessly flicking the charm onto the bedpost without breaking eye contact with Bowser as she strategically repositioned herself. The Koopa prince was having a difficult time returning the favour, however; Bowselta's back and neck were both arched in order to give her a clear view of his reddening face, but at the same time, it gave him a lovely view of the anatomy behind her dilated pupils. Bowselta could almost smell Bowser's willpower dissolving, and her lips parted into a beckoning smile. "By the looks of it, you've figured out what I have in mind."

The package of blueprints hit the floor as Bowser's hormones finally took control, just as Bowselta had always planned they would.

-xxxxx-

"I don't like it," grumbled Bowser, staring at himself in the mirror.

"Oh, don't be a baby, Your Whineyness," said Kammy. "At least it's the same colour. Imagine what I went through when I woke up with gray hair."

"Yeah, but that took a while to happen. This is a _sudden_ change," moaned Bowser, running a claw through his shortened hair. He missed his mullet.

"You're twenty-one now, I let you look like a kid as long as I could. But you have to appeared _dignified_ now, and mullets aren't dignified," said Kammy, as if she read Bowser's mind.

"So? Shag isn't dignified either but I don't see you changing Bowselta's hair," grumbled Bowser.

Kammy chuckled. "That's because I don't have a death wish."

"Then why don't you just use that spell again?" huffed Bowser. The only reason Kammy had survived _his_ hair appointment was because she had charmed herself to be temporarily flame-resistant.

"That wouldn't stop her claws. I may be able to dodge your swipes, but not hers," said Kammy, grinning.

Bowser growled. But stopped when he caught his reflection. "Ugh, I look like my _father_."

Kammy also looked at his reflection. "Well… except you don't have a beard. And that white bandana of yours, but that'll have to go once you're married."

"Grr, what's with all these stupid rules?" grumbled Bowser.

Kammy shrugged.

"And why doesn't Bowselta have to change _her_ appearance?"

"Because I'm not gonna change on my own accord, and anyone who tries to twist my arm loses theirs," smirked Bowselta as she appeared in the entrance hall.

"Oh yeah?" snorted Bowser. "Cuz I was thinking that once we're married you're gonna have to have a nice, frilly pink dress on 24/7. Like Queen Toadstool, before she died… Or, come to think of it, even _after_ she died; I'm pretty sure she was buried in that thing."

"Ha ha, very funny," said Bowselta. "But I haven't said 'yes' to anything yet."

"Yeah, but you will," sneered Bowser.

"Not if you keep up that attitude," growled Bowselta, crossing her arms and cocking an eyebrow at Bowser.

He grinned sheepishly.

"Anyway," continued Bowselta. "I came here to tell you that everything's been set up for Operation Lucky Number."

Bowser had no idea what she was talking about. "Operation what?"

Bowselta rolled her eyes. "Operation _Lucky Number_. In which we take all eight of the Koopalinga Mountains."

"Oh right! I remember," said Bowser nodding, a glassy smile on his face.

"You don't remember it, do you?"

"Um, I remember, uh, the part about how we, um, do that thing with those people, you know, up at the place where, ah, that… guy… is?"

Bowselta stared at him in disbelief. "Ugh, Bowser, sometimes you're just so… so…" As words had failed her, she mimed strangling motions in the air instead.

"Uh, Bowselta, if I may?" asked Kammy, before things got ugly.

"Be my guest," said the Dragon-Koopa, still exasperated by Bowser's latest folly, albeit good-naturedly.

"Well, Your Forgetfulness," started Kammy, addressing the prince. "In Operation Lucky Number, or OLN for short, we start out by sending massive amounts of troops south towards the Mushroom Kingdom, then we swing north and secretly move on the Koopalingas."

"Oh right! I remember! _For real_ this time," he added, as Bowselta eyed him skeptically. "The Sarasalanders won't be expecting an attack up there, because all our army was seen going south by their spies, or whatever."

"Yep," added Bowselta, glad Bowser had finally got it together. "They and the Mushroom Kingdom are already allies, so King Floral will probably send support troops down there, leaving his own defenses weak. By the time they realize they've been tricked, it'll be too late, and the Koopalingas will be ours."

-xxx-

And, unlike so many of her plans to come, Operation Lucky Number went exactly as Bowselta had planned it. They loaded the troops onto all the flying transports they could find, including Bowselta's three brand new airplanes: the propeller-driven _KoopaCord_, the jumpjet _Mark __II_, and the substantially larger, four-engined _7-Koopa-7_, all of which were painted bright red.

Shortly after the fleet left, word reached Bowser and Bowselta (through a network of Magikoopas under Kammy's control) that both the Sarasaland and Mushroom Kingdom forces were massing along the Koopa Kingdom's southern border. With that, the signal was given for the ships to turn north and double their speed. They reached the Koopalingas in just over three hours and rolled over the unsuspecting Sarasalanders.

The treaty had been signed just over two months ago, and the Koopalingas still had a fairly hefty set of defenses, but they were no match for the sheer volume of the Koopa Troop that came up against them. By the time King Floral realized what was going on, the Koopas were securely dug into all eight of the mountains, making their recapture impossible. Also, as a precaution, Bowselta had the rest of the Sarasaland-Koopa Kingdom border defense and some sections of the Mushroom Kingdom reinforced as well, just in case King Floral tried to strike back somewhere else in Dark Land.

Instead, he angrily called Koopa Castle, where Bowselta just had a giant TV screen installed behind a retractable tapestry in the Entrance Hall – for the very purpose of rubbing her victory in the king's face.

"You bloody Koopa, you had this all planned out from the start!" snarled King Floral once he found himself addressing Bowselta. Bowser was sitting on his throne in the background, watching the scene with glee, and Kammy was off-screen at the TV's controls; there was no one else in the room.

"Yes, I did," said Bowselta coolly.

"You used me! You invited me to that horrid castle because you knew it would try my nerves. Then you waited until none of us could take it anymore and offered the perfect solution to our problems!"

"Pretty much," smirked Bowselta.

"Had it been anywhere else, we would have seen through you! We would have noticed that your little line was drawn right along a fault, so your troops would be perched on a cliff, and mine would be far below, at their mercy!"

"That's what I was going for," said Bowselta trying not to laugh: King Floral's rage was quite amusing.

"And _then_ you waited until we lowered our guard, and tricked us into sending our troops away and slaughtering the brave few who remained!"

"Genius isn't it?" smiled Bowselta sadistically, her voice like ice. "You've found out the hard way that the time of Prince Bowser Koopa's apathetic approach to governing has come to an end. Peace time is drawing to a close, and do you know why?"

King Floral glared at Bowselta, not speaking a word.

"Because Koopas been forced to live in the dark by humans for too long. Your ancestors came to this world from another realm and claimed it as their own, killing anyone who got in their way. Well, now it's my turn." With that Bowselta gave Kammy the signal to hang up, and in an instant King Floral's stunned and enraged face was gone from the screen.

The hall was silent for a moment, then Bowser spoke as he slid himself out of the throne. "Uh, what did you mean by 'Prince Bowser Koopa's'… er, 'something something something' has come to an end'?"

"I'll explain in a moment, but first, I believe you owe me for four more mountains," said Bowselta, grinning slyly.

"Uh…"

"Number one," started Bowselta, holding up one finger and walking over to Bowser. "I want as little or even no media coverage on my life. History books, encyclopedias and official records are fine, but no magazines, newspapers, TV shows, _nothing_."

"Um, okay…"

"Number Two," continued Bowselta, raising another finger on her outstretched hand. "In accordance with all that, I would like a private ceremony. None of all that modern wish wash. Just you and me, and Kammy can oversee it all."

"Wait, ceremony?"

"Number three," said Bowselta, ignoring Bowser and raising another finger. "I demand that the power be split fifty-fifty. I know it sounds a bit squirrelly, but it's been done before, and it'll work."

"Squirrelly?"

"Number four," announced Bowselta, holding her thumb out from her palm. "Since they're eight Koopalinga mountains, I think eight kids would be a nice number. Plus it's lucky. We could call them all the Koopalings, it's got a nicer ring to it than Koopaling-_ga_, doncha think?"

"Um, I guess?" Bowser's mind was still trying to wrap itself around the last few minutes. Then suddenly it clicked. Kids? Power? Ceremony? _Media coverage_? It could only mean one thing!

Bowselta smiled as she saw comprehension brighten Bowser's face. "I assume you've caught my drift?"

"You mean?"

"Yes."

Bowser had never been so happy in his life. He reached out and seized Bowselta's outstretched hand, pulling her in for a passionate kiss.

Kammy grinned: she loved weddings.


	4. Interlude

**A/N****: Here's a small continuation of the introduction's drama; after this, it's back to the past.**

"What's going on?"

"We've got him stable but-"

"This is terrible, the King _and_ the heir…"

"You're overreacting, _Ludwig's_ life isn't in danger!"

"But Bowser-"

"He's not gonna die!"

Bowser's mind was swirling. Who were these voices? Why couldn't he move? Why was everything black?

"We can't promise you anything…"

"The sedatives will kill him!"

"Let me through, I'm his Chief Advisor!"

Bowser recognized that voice. He had to open his eyes; he had to see what was going on. But why was their so much pain? There was _never_ this much pain.

"Your Deathlyness?"

"Don't _jinx_ him!"

The sounds were becoming clearer. The numbness was even starting to recede, he could now tell he was lying spread-eagled on his belly, but there was something wrong with his shell. Bowser fought against the stabbing pain in his back, perhaps if he moved he could make it better – push something back into place. He tried to shift his huge bulk, a low groan escaping his clenched jaws at the bolts of white hot pain the simple action brought him.

Suddenly the voices stopped. Bowser panicked, what just happened?

Then, as soon as it had arisen, the silence vanished as everyone in the room started talking at once.

"He's coming out of it!"

"Sire, where does it hurt?"

"Get me some pain killers."

"No, we need him fully functional."

"You call _that_ fully functional?"

"Everyone shut up! Your Consciousness, can you hear me?"

"Ugghhhh… yesssss?" moaned Bowser, forcing his eyes open. In front of him was a big blurry yellow, blue and purple lump with some red and white parts. Around it things were moving, but no matter how he tried he couldn't get anything in focus.

"Your Responsiveness!" cried the blob.

"Huh? Kammy?" said Bowser, trying to move his head off whatever he was lying on.

"Yes, but don't move, your shell's been cracked. You could've suffered spinal injury too, we still aren't sure."

"Uurr…" Bowser squinted, the bright lights were painful for his eyes, but he did manage to get the world in focus, and Kammy Koopa was indeed standing in front of him, her face wracked with concern.

"Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?" asked Kammy.

"Uhh…" but it was no use, Kammy was once again nothing more than a fuzzy blob to Bowser's eyes. "Grrr, I don't know! What happened?"

"You don't remember?" asked Kammy, "Mario blew you out the window, fortunately the lava pools were crusted over, or…"

"Mario?" suddenly Bowser's memory came rushing back to him, and he struggled to push himself up off the table. "Wait, Ludwig! He was hurt!"

"Your Uncooperativeness! Stop moving or you'll do permanent damage!"

Bowser growled. He fell out a window, that's all. Sure it was twenty feet above the ground – which was covered in jagged rocks – and by the sounds of it, he had gone off the cliff as well (he didn't even know how high that was), but he'd endured worse and came out fine. Why was everyone fussing over him now? Especially when his eldest son could probably use the attention more. He had to know what had become of Ludwig, and he wouldn't rest until he got his answers.

"Vait Fazzer! Don't vorry, I'm here!" called a voice from across the room.

Bowser stopped moving. "Ludwig?"

"Yes, now let me srough!" with that, a blue and yellow blur emerged from a swarm of white blurs which Bowser knew were Medikoopas (Magikoopa doctors). The blur came closer and Bowser forced it into focus, but what he saw made his stomach twist: the entire right side of Ludwig's face was covered in bright red ooze.

"What's that?" gasped the King of the Koopas.

"Healing potion," explained Ludwig as he once again slid out of focus. "Zee burns vere pretty bad, but nossing serious; zere von't even be any lasting scars."

"But what happened after I fell? Did Mario go after you?"

"No, Peach stopped him. She said I vasn't part of zee kidnapping, and zat it vould be cowardly for Mario to attack me ven I vas already hurt."

"Good," said Bowser, grinning faintly. "Peach is so nice…"

"Yeah," said Ludwig, but he sounded a bit down.

"What's the matter?" asked Bowser.

"I dunno, it's just, you are alvays telling us to stay avay from Mario. But it's hard having to sit and do nossing vile you get beaten up over and over. And I guess, I sorta feel like I _should_ have gotten involved zis time."

"I thought you didn't approve of me kidnapping Peach," joked Bowser.

"I don't, but… I've never actually seen Mario do zat to you before. And- and you could've _died_."

"Ludwig, I _have_ died, repeatedly. But I always come back – you know me," said Bowser lightly.

"You don't _understand_, zis time is different," said Ludwig, reaching foreword and grabbing Bowser's arm. He could feel the kid trembling.

"He's right," said Kammy solemnly.

Bowser looked from blurry blob to blurry blob. He couldn't remember either of them being this freaked-out over him before. And maybe they were right: Bowser's vision was starting to go dark.

Ludwig noticed something was wrong. "Fazzer?"

"Don't worry Ludwig," croaked Bowser, wanting to reassure his son before it was too late. "You did the right thing… Your mother would be proud…" and with that, Bowser's world went black once more.


	5. The Parents

Chapter 3: The Parents

Married life was not what King Bowser Koopa had expected. At first things had gone smoothly, with him and Bowselta slowly growing accustomed to ruling the Koopa Kingdom together – a surprisingly easy task. It was just like when Bowselta was one of Bowser's co-advisors, except now she could boss Kamek around too. The Magikoopa was quite upset that Bowselta was Queen, and refused to come south for years, something which suited the royals just fine. In fact, to make things simpler, Bowselta changed Kammy (and Kamek's) titles to Chief Advisors, so they could act totally separately from each other, effectively eliminating the need to communicate with Kamek at all.

The only adjusting Bowser himself had to do was to remember he was the king, not the prince, and to get used to Bowselta second-guessing him all the time. The fifty-fifty power split meant that both Bowser and Bowselta had to make major decisions together, and that either one could counteract the other's orders. This usually wasn't a problem around the castle, but when it came to external matters, Bowselta always had the final word. If Bowser agreed to send troops somewhere, the Queen of the Koopas would usually change something about it, whether it was the size of the group, the mode of transport they used, or even where they came from or were going to. But Bowser knew this was all for the better: Bowselta was better at that sort of thing then him, and eventually he just forwarded all those requests to her as soon as he got them.

Some said Bowselta should just have asked for all the power to be transferred to her, but she had her reasons for leaving it as fifty-fifty, the main one being publicity. She hated the spotlight, and even after many years of her reign as the Queen of the Koopas, lots of citizens still had no idea what she looked like; some didn't even know her name. But that was exactly what Bowselta was going for – while she came up with all the great ideas, Bowser was the one who got the credit. No longer was he the loser prince, but the powerful king who conquered mountains, and who's reign brought so many improvements to the Koopa Kingdom. Bowser loved the fame, and having inherited his father's ego, the castle was soon filled with pictures and statues of the new Koopa King. Bowselta didn't really like that aspect of Bowser's fame and refused to be a part of it, but in the long run, she would rather have her mate's image decorating her walls than King Morton's.

Yes, everything was going quite smoothly, until Bowselta decided that a year and a quarter was a long enough period to break in her and Bowser's new life, and the perfect time to start having kids.

Now, Dragon-Koopa reproduction is often described by scientists as being quite efficient and convenient, since the females only ovulate by conscious choice and only had to carry the egg for a week before laying it, letting it continue developing for another six months outside the body. After that, most newborns are able to learn to walk and talk within their first few months; some even gain the ability to breathe fire before their first birthdays. It was almost picture-perfect down in writing, but Bowser and Bowselta soon found out that reality was much different.

Bowselta woke up the morning after her first conception to horrid cramps and an inexplicable craving for raw Cheep-Cheep. When she roused Bowser and told him to go send for her unusual breakfast, he made the mistake of telling her to do it herself. Ten minutes later he arrived at the kitchen asking for a plate of sushi and nursing a black eye. And things went downhill from there. Soon Bowselta started spending half her time sleeping and the rest of the time eating. She'd wake up at all hours of the day or night demanding a plethora of different foods, and insisting it was Bowser who got it for her. And to make matters worse, Bowselta was subject to wild mood swings, none of which elevated her overall disposition to violence.

Bowselta's first pregnancy had been the most stressful week of Bowser's life, only ending after fifteen minutes of screaming and pain. But it was all worth it when Bowselta gave that final shudder and collapsed back onto the bed, gasping for breath and soaked in sweat, while behind her, Kammy held up a perfect white egg that ushered Bowser and Bowselta into their new life of parenthood.

Although caring after the egg wasn't as exhausting and painful as Bowselta's pregnancy, it was no walk in the park. In nature, female Dragon-Koopas brood the eggs until they hatch, nestling them in the hollow between their bellies and chests. But Bowselta had better things to do than lay around in bed all day, so instead, the egg was kept in an incubator (a common practice in modern times for most oviparous species). Ironically, Bowser and Bowselta still spent most of their time 'guarding' the egg, even though it was perfectly safe in the castle. They constantly fretted about the egg at first, worried that it was being kept at the wrong temperature, or that is wasn't getting enough ventilation.

They drove Kammy batty with questions (seeing as she had been such a help during the pregnancy and delivery), and while she did provide them with excellent advise, Bowser and Bowselta refused to settle down. Kammy even tried to reassure them by asking Kamek how Morton and Clawdia had kept Bowser as an egg. However, Bowselta hated Kammy's twin so much she refused to believe anything he said, in case he was actually out to get the egg.

Then, when the egg started hatching, the true pandemonium started. Bowser and Bowselta couldn't decide if they should take the egg out of the incubator and hold it themselves, or whether they should leave it be. They worried that the egg was taking too long to hatch, but were too scared to try to help the infant break through the shell. Kammy was just glad that Dragon-Koopas took very little time to hatch, with the whole ordeal lasting about ten minutes, instead of ten hours like some species Kammy had heard of.

Still, those ten minutes were quite hard on Bowser and Bowselta, so to lighten the mood, Kammy put on some music by her favorite composer, Ludwig van Beethoven. After some tense moments, the baby finally managed to poke his head through the shell, looking blearily around the room with his beady little eyes. His parents couldn't resist the urge to help him anymore, and while Bowselta gingerly held the egg, Bowser carefully pulled bits of the shell away from the little one, even picking little fragments out of the tuft of blue hair on his head.

The baby was quite cute and sat in Bowselta's hands, wet and squirmy, wiggling his short little arms in the air, miraculously in time to the music. In fact, since the infant enjoyed the melody so much, his parents agreed to name him Ludwig Von Koopa after its composer ("Von" being his middle name). Once the kid discovered this, he decided to emulate his namesake, even going so far as to speaking with a German accent, a habit he refused to abandon. Still, Bowser and Bowselta were very proud of little Ludwig, and within three months he could speak, run around and even burp out little puffballs of smoke.

The only problem was that Ludwig had no other children around to play with, so Bowser and Bowselta decided to brave another week of hellish pregnancy. But to their delight, it wasn't quite as bad as Bowselta's first, although that could have been partially due to the fact that the egg she laid this time was on the small side. Despite this setback, Bowselta still decided it was worth the risk of abnormally to have more kids, and laid her third egg shortly before Lemmy hatched.

He had worried his parents at first because of his diminutive size, his disproportionately large head, the fact that his eyes almost always pointed in different directions, and the presence of strange pink lumps on the sides of his head. X-rays showed the lumps to be abnormal bone growth that would probably disappear when Lemmy grew in his horns (while some kids like Ludwig and Bowser are born with horns on their heads, most, like Bowselta and Lemmy, develop them late in their childhoods).

The doctors assured Bowser and Bowselta the lumps did nothing to affect Lemmy's mental condition, and that he stood a good chance of outgrowing his lazy eye problem too. But while Lemmy soon learned to speak fluent English, he was absolutely unable to walk straight. Mostly he would stagger around for a few moments before falling over, and after a while, he refused to try at all.

The answer to the problem actually came as an accident. Lemmy loved playing with his large, blue and yellow, star-patterned rubber ball, and one day as he and Ludwig were rolling the ball to one another, Ludwig got distracted and rolled the ball so hard it knocked Lemmy clear off his feet. The little Koopaling clutched onto the ball as it rolled over him and pulled him up into the air, where, not wanting to be rolled face-first into the ground, Lemmy stood up and started rolling around _on top_ of the ball.

He may've looked foolish, but it was a huge accomplishment for Lemmy, and he became quite outgoing and boisterous as a result, rolling around and happily causing mischief with Ludwig. Unfortunately, when Bowselta's third egg hatched (shortly after she laid her fourth), the elder two Koopalings' wit proved detrimental. The newborn male had a pink shell and matching head, as opposed to the green hue that his parents and siblings possessed. Thanks to this, Lemmy and Ludwig immediately made fun of little Roy. Although he was too young to understand what they were saying, he could tell they were ridiculing him, and dealt with it by cramming a large piece of eggshell over his head and refusing to take it off.

Bowser and Bowselta were furious with Lemmy and Ludwig, and tried desperately to convince Roy to show his face on his own accord; but he wouldn't, keeping his arms clamped over his head to prevent his parents from removing the shell themselves. After a few day the shell fragmented on its own, but Roy's developing eyes – already abnormally small – had become used to the dark and couldn't readapt to the harsh light that they were now exposed to. This was known as Magikoopa's Blindness, and while rare, it was a natural phenomenon in some species of Koopa, though odds were that Roy could have avoided the full brunt of the photosensitivity had his brother's not tormented him into the dark.

Recognizing the condition immediately, Kammy came to the rescue with a pair of red-rimmed glasses similar to her own. Roy loved them and never took them off, and once he learned to walk and talk, he decided that they helped compensate for his uncool pink face and shell. Also as a result of his early childhood, Roy became quite a bully, and terrorized Lemmy and Ludwig for laughing at him as a baby for quite some time. He then got into tough guy movies, and developed his own Brooklyn accent to add to his look.

The next Koopaling to hatch also had eye problems: he was unable to focus mere inches away from his own snout and had to wear thick glasses all the time. As a result, Iggy ended up being a strange mix of his three older siblings, with glasses like Roy (albeit vastly different glasses), rainbow hair like Lemmy, and a high intelligence like Ludwig. The strange thing was, Iggy was incredibly slow on the uptake on spoken language; he understood English but he just didn't use it, choosing to do things himself instead of wasting the time to try and communicate his needs to others. Lemmy, who knew all about learning stuff the slow and unorthodox way (he still required his ball to 'walk'), made it his personal mission to teach Iggy to speak, realizing the best way to get him talking was a kind of aversion therapy. Lemmy would begin a sentence but leave out the final word, infuriating Iggy who, even at such a young age, liked _everything_ done right. At first it was frustrating for everyone because neither Lemmy nor Iggy were speaking properly, but slowly Iggy learned to play along with Lemmy.

But by the time this development arose, so did another problem: Bowser and Bowselta's first daughter. They knew their next kid would be a girl long before she hatched, since female eggs were speckled brown instead of being pure white like the males, but it did more harm then good. Right off the bat, both Bowser and Kammy decided Wendy O. Koopa should be treated differently than her brothers, and as a result she soon became quite spoiled. Bowselta tried in vain to reform her daughter, but the damage was done, and Wendy didn't appreciate the fact that her mother wouldn't give her whatever she wanted like Bowser. Bowselta's reasoning was that for the first thirteen or so years of their lives, the only differences between male and female Dragon-Koopas were that the female's had longer eyelashes and had only mustard coloured scales, while the males' heads had the same hue of their shells, not their bodies. Bowselta said that psychologically either gender had the potential to act like the other, and it was the parents that instilled the commonplace behavioral patterns in their children that separated them (then peer pressure widened the rift). Bowselta was a good example of this: while her parents tried to make her act like a "girly-girl" she had rebelliously done everything backwards from what they told her, the result being that until she reached puberty, Bowselta acted exactly like a boy.

Of course, Bowselta had been quite the family black sheep, and Wendy went down the road of her grandmothers, enjoying material possessions (particularly gold), and striving to look nice. Still, she was still the daughter of Bowser and Bowselta Koopa, and like her brothers, had a fire in her belly, which would one day let her crush her enemies. But for now, she was just a six-month-old crybaby.

-xxx-

It was abnormally quiet in Koopa Castle. Bowselta was sleeping and due to lay her seventh egg that very day, Kammy was doing some paperwork, the six Koopalings were dispersed throughout the castle amusing themselves, and Bowser was going to visit his youngest 'child'.

He walked into the Incubation Room and shooed away the Medikoopa that had been keeping watch. While Bowser and Bowselta had long ago given up the practice of watching over their eggs day and night, they still made sure _someone_ minded them. There were two incubators in the room, one holding an egg, and the other serving as backup; but once Bowselta laid her next egg, both would be in full-time-use until the first one hatched (it was due in about a week's time).

It wasn't quite a normal egg, since it was quite dark in colouration, but that wasn't a serious condition: all it meant was that the shell had a bit too much melanin, so it appeared pale gray instead of white – big deal. Bowser smiled down at the egg, bathed yellow in the incubator's life-giving lights. It was so bright inside the incubator that it almost looked like the egg was glowing. But it wasn't – none of the eggs had. Bowser wasn't too sad about it, though: glowing eggs like his had been were very rare – only something like five had been documented throughout history.

"Whacha doin' Daddy?" came a high-pitched voice from the doorway.

Bowser turned around to see Wendy staring up at him with her big round eyes looking a bit misty. "What's wrong? I thought you were playing with your brothers."

"I was, with Lemmy and Iggy, but then they started making fun of my hair," huffed Wendy, who was quite bald.

Bowser sighed, Ludwig may have learned from the whole Roy incident, but Lemmy was a bit more immature. "Just ignore them."

"I _can't_," whined Wendy.

"Fine," groaned Bowser, he was too tired to argue with her; Bowselta had kept him up all night trying to obtain her some 'Ground Guts', which turned out to be her made up word for a plate of living earthworms.

Wendy watched as Bowser let out a huge yawn. "Why ya tiwed?"

"Oh, I was helping Mommy a lot today," said Bowser.

"Why do you have ta help Mommy but she doesn't have ta help _me_?"

"She does help you," chuckled Bowser. "And I have to help her because she's gonna lay another egg soon, and that's very hard on her."

"Ooh, Lemmy and Iggy were telling me that she gets all cwazy! Is that twue?" asked Wendy sweetly. Bowser hoped she started pronouncing her 'r's correctly before the next kid started talking.

"Um, yeah, she does get a little… erm, loud, I guess…" said Bowser.

"Oh…"

Bowser yawned again and sank into the chair next to the incubator, folding his arms on its warm top and resting his head. He was just starting to close his eyes when he felt a full set of claws dig into his leg.

He started and looked down to find Wendy hoisting herself up his leg. "Wendy? What are you _doing_?"

"I wanna see the egg," said Wendy, grinning.

Bowser smiled and picked her up, placing her on the incubator's glass top beside his other arm. "Here it is."

Wendy smiled down at it; she'd seen it before, but it still looked cool. She turned to ask Bowser a question but he had once again shut his eyes, and was peacefully slumbering with his head resting on his right arm. Usually Wendy would've woken him up, but she decided not to this time. Instead, she curled up against Bowser's free arm, and let the warmth of the incubation chamber lull her to sleep as well.

-xxx-

Kamek muttered furiously to himself as he stalked through the corridors of Koopa Castle. He hadn't been down south since the coronation – over four years previously. The castle had changed so much: all of Kamek's beloved portraits of King Morton and Queen Clawdia were gone, Bowser's face replacing them on the walls. But Kamek wasn't interested in pictures, he wanted to see the _real_ Bowser – the king was the whole reason he had come to the castle.

Kamek needed to tell him something; he had information that could change the Koopa Kingdom's place in the world forever. But no one knew where the king was. Kamek couldn't even find Kammy. The only person of importance who's location Kamek had been able to ascertain was the slumbering Bowselta, and she was the last thing Kamek wanted to talk too.

He rounded the corner and saw a Medikoopa witch walking out of the stairwell across the hall. Finally, someone Kamek could depend on. "Hey you! Where's Bowser?"

"In the Incubation Room," responded the Medikoopa. "It's in the Medical Wing."

"Thanks," said Kamek as he brushed passed her and hurried off to the Medical Wing; Magikoopas were the only Koopas he made a point to be polite too.

After getting some more directions on the way, Kamek finally found the Incubation Room, only to discover Bowser snoring loudly and drooling all over the incubator.

"Your Highness!" shouted Kamek.

Bowser woke with a start. "Huh, what?"

"Ouch!" squeaked a voice.

"Oops, sorry Wendy," apologized Bowser, lifting his arm from the incubator's roof, revealing a young Dragon-Koopa, sprawled on her belly and looking quite miffed.

Kamek snorted disapprovingly. He guessed the youngster had been resting against Bowser's arm, and when he woke up he knocked her over. Ah well, he had too many kids anyway, and there were more on the way…

Bowser saw the look on Kamek's face. "Kamek? What are you wrinkling your nose at?" he huffed angrily.

Wendy paid her father's displeasure no mind, instead looking down into the incubator. "Daddy?"

"Nothing," responded Kamek, ignoring Wendy.

"Oh really?" growled Bowser.

"Daddy?"

"Not now Wendy," hushed Bowser, before turning back to Kamek.

"But-"

"No 'buts', now where was I? Oh yeah, what are you making fun of this time?"

"I already told you, nothing!" said Kamek.

"But Daddy-"

"Wendy, please," sighed Bowser. "What are you even doing here, Kamek? I thought you were only using the crystal ball to talk with us these days."

"I have some new information I think you'd like to hear," smiled Kamek.

"Really? Wha-"

"DADDY!"

"Wendy quiet! This is important!" snapped Bowser.

"But Daddy the egg's _moving_!" shrieked Wendy.

"That's ni- wait, what?" gasped Bowser wheeling around and looking down into the incubator. The egg was indeed rocking around; tiny cracks were already appearing on its surface. "Aww man, the egg's hatching! But it's a week early! Ugh, what am I going to _do_?"

Suddenly Kammy burst through the door on her broomstick.

"Kammy!" cried Bowser. "Thank Koopa you're here, the egg-"

"Her Motherlyness's gone into labour!" announced Kammy.

"What? _Now_?"

"Yes _now_, so get your butt upstairs!" shouted Kammy, before turning around and rocketing away.

"Hey sis, nice to see you too," drawled Kamek sarcastically, although it was refreshing to see her order Bowser around like that.

"Kammy, wait!" called Bowser, sticking his head out the door, but Kammy was gone and there was no one else in sight. "Grrr this is just great!"

"So what if you miss one egg-laying, its not like you haven't seen it before. And I'm sure Bowselta can cope without witnessing _one_ hatching," sneered Kamek.

"Shut up Kamek!" growled Bowser, rushing back to the incubator and lifting Wendy roughly to the floor.

"Hey! That huwt!" whimpered the child.

"Sorry Wendy. But I have to take the egg up to Mommy," explained Bowser apologetically as he opened up the incubator.

"See? You _always_ do stuff for Mommy, and you _nevew_ do stuff fow me! You big meanie! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!" wailed Wendy.

Bowser cringed at his daughter's shrieking. "Aww Wendy, don't cry." He bent down and scooped her up with the hand that wasn't already holding the egg, "Here, I'll take you up too."

"You can't take the egg up yourself! You'll drop it!" exclaimed Kamek. Personally, he wouldn't care if Bowser ended up with scrambled eggs, though it would reflect very badly on his family – on _Morton Koopa's_ family.

"I won't drop it!" huffed Bowser indignantly, but he looked uneasily from Wendy to the egg. Eventually he decided it would be best to use both hands to carry the egg, and raised his arm above his head, dumping his daughter between his horns. "Here Wendy, we're going for a little ride. Just hold on tight and _don't let go_. Okay?"

"Okay," giggled Wendy, clutching onto Bowser's head horns.

"Alright, here we go!" announced Bowser, dashing forward, kicking the door open, and rushing away down the corridor.

Kamek called down his broom and quickly flew after the king, dreading what he would see. Fortunately the run wasn't that bad: they hardly met anyone, and those that they did encounter were too startled by being ordered out of the way by their eight foot tall king to notice he had his daughter on his head, and his latest egg clutched in his claws.

By the time they reached Bowser and Bowselta's room, the king was out of breath. He pushed open to door to find Bowselta moaning on the bed, Kammy waiting to catch the egg behind her, and Ludwig, Roy, Lemmy and Iggy assembled on the red-carpeted floor.

"About time! Your SLOWNESS!" grumbled Kammy.

"Yeah!" snarled Bowselta. "You should really have more initiative when it comes to this sorta thing! It's your egg too! You – aarrrrrhhhhh!" Bowser was spared his wife's temper by a particularly large contraction.

"I'm _sorry_, but the egg-"

"Enough excuses!" snapped Kammy. "Get over here!"

"Fine!" growled Bowser, hurrying over to Ludwig and handing him the egg. "Here, don't drop it!"

"Don't vorry, I von't!" grinned Ludwig. The egg was larger than his own head, but he was strong enough to hold it aloft in his hands.

"Good," said Bowser, picking Wendy off his head and placing her beside her brothers, before turning and rushing to Bowselta's side.

"Vow, zis is so cool," said Ludwig, looking wondrously at the heavily cracked egg. "I can feel our little bruzzer moving inside zee egg."

"Neat!" said Roy, "I wanna try! Gimmie da egg!"

"No!" said Ludwig, holding the egg away from Roy. "Fazzer told _me_ to hold zee egg."

"Aww, don't be such a stiff!" growled Roy, reaching out to try and take the egg.

"And _you_ stop being so pushy!" rebuffed Ludwig, transferring to egg to one hand and using the other to push Roy away.

"Hey, _you're_ da one pushin' _me_!" protested Roy, struggling against Ludwig.

"Ohh!" said Lemmy. "A-"

"-fight!" finished Iggy.

"That's so-"

"-cool!"

"Well, I was going for 'awesome', but 'cool's' good too," grinned Lemmy.

The two Koopalings then started jumping up and down chanting. "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!"

Wendy sullenly looked around at everyone in the room. "Hey? Doesn't anywon care abowt me?" Her question went unanswered. She puffed herself up angrily. "No! NO WON cawes abowt me! Waaaaaaaa!"

Kamek sniggered in the corner. The room was utter pandemonium: kids fighting, baby crying, wife screaming, Bowser getting verbally abused – it was great!

Suddenly amidst the craziness, the top of the egg broke off from the rest and the little Koopaling poked his head out. He looked excitedly around at all the noise and confusion.

"WAAAAAAAAA!" cried Wendy, flailing her arms in the air as she sat on the ground.

"Fight!"

"Fight!"

"Fight!" chanted Iggy and Lemmy, bouncing up and down (Lemmy doing so on top of his ball).

"Gimmie da egg! Ya lousy good fer notin'-" growled Roy, grappling with Ludwig.

"Take zat back Roy! And stop pestering me or I'll drop zee egg!" shouted the oldest Koopaling, the effort of holding back Roy and supporting the large egg forcing him to wave his hatching brother haphazardly through the air as he struggled to maintain his balance.

The baby heard some noises behind him and he squirmed around in his egg, breaking off more fragments as he did so.

Behind him, Bowselta was shuddering as she tried to lay her next egg, and beside her, Bowser was gently coaxing her. "That's it, push!"

"I AM PUSHING!" bellowed Bowselta, although the shouting forced her to relax her aching abdominal muscles.

"Oh, almost had it! Try again!" called Kammy from Bowselta's backside.

The baby grinned and took in all the noise.

"Waaaaa! No won loves meeeeeeeeeee!"

"Fight!"

"Fight!"

"Ow! Cut it out zis instant!"

"Gimme da egg!"

"Fight!"

"Fight!"

"Not Mommy! Not Daddy! Not no won! WAAAA!"

"That's it, now PUSH!"

"Fight!"

"Fight!"

"_RRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHH__!"_

With all this noise, the youngster decided there would only be one way he could fit in with this world. So he opened his large toothless mouth, sucked in a deep breath that helped widen the cracks in the eggshell, and let out a stream of incoherent nonsense. "Blabama nawa danabwa hifafini shimi do da blababooo!"

The rest of the room went silent as everyone turned to look at the egg in Ludwig's outstretched hand. Or, rather, what used to be the egg, as half of it had given way to the head of a happily babbling baby.

"The egg? It hatched?" panted Bowselta, lying on the bed exhaustedly after finally expelling her latest egg, now safely cradled in Kammy's hands.

"Um, heh heh, I tried to tell you it was hatching…" said Bowser sheepishly, hurrying over and taking the infant from Ludwig, pulling apart the bottom of the shell and exposing the rest of the baby's body, still wet with amniotic fluid.

It was, by far, the most unusual of Bowser and Bowselta's children. Instead of having a yellow snout, belly and body scales, the youngster was mostly brown in colour, except for his shell and head, which were silvery grey. And, to make the kid even stranger, he had a large star-shaped birthmark covering the left side of his face.

"Strange," mused Bowser, holding up the burbling youngster and taking a closer look. "He's too dark in some places, and too light in others…"

"Half melanistic, half leucistic," said Kammy, still holding the freshly laid egg in her wizened old claws.

"Huh?" said Bowser.

"She means, that kid's a freak," hissed Kamek from the corner. "Of course, _I'm_ just surprised he didn't turn out worse."

"What do you mean by that?" growled Bowselta from the bed.

"I mean, look at the rest of your kids," sneered Kamek. "The oldest's got buckteeth: if that's not ridicule-worth I don't know what is. Then you got the freak-twins wasting Clawdia's genes on their rainbow mohawks, not to mention the fact that one's half blind and mute while the other's cross-eyed and can't walk straight-"

"Hey, you're cruising for a bruising Kamek!" growled Bowser.

"Then there's the fact that your only daughter is a bald crybaby," continued Kamek impassively. "That'd be Viracocha's DNA, same with the pink one, and the latest little brat-"

Kamek was cut off from a blast of fire from Bowser. "You better shut up! _Or else_."

"Yeah Kamek," agreed Kammy. "What's your _problem_?"

"My past mistakes," said Kamek. "I was too easy on Bowser, now he's a pushover. Someone's gotta teach these kids to be decent rulers, like King Morton Koopa."

Bowselta was glaring daggers at Kamek. The only reason he hadn't been blasted off his broom was because she was still recovering from laying the egg.

Instead, it was up to Bowser to punish the Magikoopa, but he was too shocked at Kamek's insult to think of a good retort. "_Again_ with Morton? Honestly Kamek, you're a broken record!"

"You're lucky I'm _not_ a broken record," huffed Kamek. "If I was, I wouldn't be able to inform you lot that King Floral's on his deathbed."

"He's been dying for years, big deal," shrugged Bowser.

"Yes, but now we should begin to prepare to invade Sarasaland, once their ruler dies they'd be ripe for the picking!" explained Kamek.

"If I remember correctly," interjected Bowselta, her voice heavy with exhaustion. "When they did that to us after Morton died and took the Koopalinga Mountains, you said it was an act of cowardice."

"It was, and now we can give them a taste of their own medicine, or rather, of their own poison!" exclaimed Kamek.

Bowser shook his head. "You're off your rocker, there's no way I'm gonna sink to those _humans'_ level."

"Fine, I _try_ to help but…" patronized Kamek.

"You call insulting my children and telling me to act like a yellow-bellied human_ help_?" said Bowser incredulously.

"So it's not the best help in _your _opinion. Morton would've at least heard me out," growled Kamek.

"We did hear you out – we heard you loud and clear," spat Bowselta.

"Then my job's done, and I'll be leaving now," hissed Kamek, flying his broomstick towards the door.

Bowser growled; he didn't know why he kept the infuriating Magikoopa around. He was getting to be more of trouble then he was worth. Suddenly Bowser figured out a way to shut Kamek up _for good_. "Wait, Kamek! You should at least know the name of my 'latest little brat'!"

Kamek paused at the doorway and turned his broom around. "What is it? Big Mouth?"

"No," said Bowser, grinning cruelly. "It's Morton Koopa _Junior_, in honor of your oh-so-lovely little visit."

-xxxxx-

The next few years were relatively uneventful. After the craziness of Morton's birth, Bowselta decided the seventh egg's hatching would be a private affair between her, Bower and Kammy. As a result, little Larry Koopa was generally reserved, while Morton became a venerable motor mouth long before he could even understand English. Of course, none of the seven Koopalings were what you would consider 'quiet'. Over the next few years they became a pack of little terrors as far as the rest of the castle inhabitants were concerned.

Roy was still, by far, the meanest and most brutal of the Koopalings, and it didn't take long for Morton to become his wingman. But, while Morton was large and burly like Roy and Bowser, he generally lacked their air of menace, since he would often start rambling about a variety of things during fights. Morton's chattering often drove Roy crazy and forced the bully Koopaling to turn on his partner in crime, but these skirmishes never wavered Morton's idolization of his big brother.

Another steadfast partnership was the one between Lemmy and Iggy. Long after Iggy learned to talk, the pair would practice finishing each other's sentences so they could pounce on unsuspecting visitors and trick them into believing they were twins, all the while doing their best to confuse them in any other way possible. This goal was made even easier when Lemmy developed the ability to make holographic 'clones' of himself. Wendy also had the rare cloning ability, and both kids learn to make the holograms corporeal by having minions stand inside them. A great asset in battle, Wendy combined her cloning powers with her advanced grasp on general magic to get the edge on all her boisterous brothers, especially against Morton and Roy, who inherited Bowser's shockwave ability.

Ludwig was quite adept at magic as well, but for some reason, he and Wendy never seemed to get along. He also disapproved of Roy and Morton's tactics, for while Ludwig swam in Bowser's big and burly end of the gene pool, he preferred to use his brains to cause mayhem. He and Larry would work together to dream up dastardly plots, and often Iggy would join them in making sinister inventions and cunning schemes to suggest to their megalomaniac parents. Lemmy, while clever, usually refrained from such activities, being a bit more laid back and fun-loving than the trio of evil geniuses. Sometimes, when Iggy and Ludwig got carried away, Lemmy and Larry would leave them to their devises, and while away their time in the castle greenhouse, where the fearsome Piranha Plants and their kin were grown.

Bowser and Bowselta enjoyed three more years of watching their kids grow up, but when Larry left infancy and started breathing fireballs, the King and Queen of the Koopas decided it was high time they started focusing on expanding their kingdom. The border hadn't changed since the Koopalinga affair, and the army was starting to get restless. Even Kamek, who hadn't shown his face down south since Morton's hatching, started calling on the crystal ball and heckling Kammy about the lack of fighting. He told her that Sarasaland had not only recovered from King Floral's death, but also from his wife's untimely departure too. Bowser's old excuse of not wanting to act like a coward and kick the country when it was down had run out, as had Bowselta's excuse of needing to rear her children, since the Koopalings were rapidly becoming self-sufficient from their attentive parents.

Kammy passed on Kamek's arguments, but they made no difference since Bowser and Bowselta's minds had already been made up on the matter: they were going to invade the Mushroom Kingdom. The plan came as a shock to many Koopa Kingdom citizens, including Kamek, but as Bowselta pointed out, the country was an obvious target. They hadn't been invaded or attacked for generations and their army was pitiful in comparison to the Koopa Kingdom's or Sarasaland's. Their King Toadstool was a fool who spent most of his time traveling around the world on a lavish ocean cruiser, leaving his kindly daughter Peach to rule the land. The only problem with invading the Mushroom Kingdom had been the Mario brothers – the babies who Kamek had long ago predicted would bring doom and gloom to the Koopa Kingdom.

But Bowselta had done her research, and it turned out the pesky humans weren't even living in the Mushroom Kingdom anymore. Apparently, after the Shroob incident (an alien invasion shrouded in mystery that seemed to involve time travel and was still the subject of much controversy) King Toadstool briefly returned to his home to keep a closer eye on Princess Peach, who had been part of the whole affair. He decided that the less Peach saw of the Mario bros., the less trouble she would attract, and as a result, the children had a falling out. Eventually Mario and Luigi's dream of becoming plumbers forced them to leave the Mushroom Kingdom and move to Big Ape City (also known as Brooklyn), on Donkey Kong Island. There they faded into obscurity, and while Bowselta couldn't dig up any additional information on the Mario bros., she had effectively proved that they wouldn't be a threat to the Koopas when they invaded the Mushroom Kingdom.

Keeping this in mind, she and Bowser launched their attack. Bowselta had her mate use his skills with dark magic to crush all resistance, turning the Toad inhabitants of the Kingdom into inanimate objects, and hiding away the Power-Ups they used to try and fight back. Unfortunately, Kamek had predicted that Princess Peach had the power to stop Bowser's magic long ago; he had even forced Bowser to try and kidnap the princess when he found this out, despite the fact they were both quite young.

That kidnap had been foiled by the Mario bros. and then complicated by the arrival of the Shroobs. By the time it was all over, Kamek had decided kidnapping Peach could wait a few years; or more specifically, twenty-seven years, as Bowser was only now getting around to snatching the princess.

It was all going quite well: Bowser had Peach behind bars, his own fortresses built all over the land, and the people of the Mushroom Kingdom at his mercy (most of the Mushroomian Goombas had even defected to the Koopa's side). Bowselta was also in the thick of it all; however she had insisted on remaining anonymous, just in case something went wrong and the Koopas needed a 'secret weapon'. And something did go wrong, as the Mario bros. happened to return home shortly after Bowser's initial takeover.

They had been plumbing in a Brooklyn basement and stumbled upon a warp pipe that took them straight to the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Luigi were surprised to say the least, but even more so to find Bowser ruling the land. They immediately sprang into action and ploughed through the Koopan army. Before he or Bowselta knew it, the Mario brothers crashed into Bowser's largest fortress, dumping him into a pool of lava and freeing Peach.

Horrified, Bowselta had Kammy and the other Magikoopas heal Bowser with a special Revitalizing Potion while she herself made plans for an immediate counter-attack. She had Peach recaptured before the princess had a chance to lift Bower's magic, and sent the entire army after the Mario bros. But the pesky plumbers still overcame all the obstacles. They destroyed the remaining fortresses and defeated every Koopa soldier who came their way. Bowselta was soon forced to leave Bowser and clean up after the Mario bros., salvaging as many supplies and soldiers as she could for redeployment. But it was no use; soon Bowser was once again defeated, and Peach was free to undo his magic. Bowselta _did_ manage to evacuate most of the fallen Koopa Troop back to Dark Land and remain unknown to the Mushroomians and the Mario bros., but she was furious at the loss.

Bowser wasn't happy either: he had died twice in the failed attempt at the Mushroom Kingdom, returning to life thanks to Kammy, and to the same magic that saved him from his collapsing castle all those years ago. But Near-Immortality or no Near-Immortality, it was still a horrible experience for Bowser to feel his own flesh burnt away by the molten rock, to feel the scorching liquid flow down his throat as he screamed in agony, to feel his life slip away amidst a sea of pain...

So, when Bowser told Bowselta he wanted the Koopalings to participate in their next invasion plan, she was understandably shocked.

"How can you possibly say that? After everything you went through!"

"They need to be a part of it. If not, they will never be the sort of rulers we are," explained Bowser.

"I'm all for letting them learn life lessons the hard way, but it's too early," protested Bowselta.

"I had already fought the Mario bros. plenty of times before I was Larry's age," stated Bowser.

"Yeah, and got thrashed each time," snorted Bowselta.

"But our kids aren't gonna get thrashed."

"If you couldn't defeat the Mario bros. – as a child or an adult – how do you figure any of the Koopalings could?"

"Well, I've been thinking about that," started Bowser.

"Oh really?" said Bowselta skeptically.

"Yeah, I have," continued Bowser. "You said that our problem last time was that we had everything concentrated too much; it was a 'keeping all your eggs in one basket' sorta thing."

"Wow, you _actually_ paid attention!" scoffed Bowselta.

"I don't see why you're being so nasty about all this," huffed Bowser.

"You want to throw my kids into the line of fire, of course I'm gonna be a bit testy."

"They're my kids too! Besides, if all goes well, they'll be fine," said Bowser, walking over to a large map of the Mushroom Continent (which looks like Eurasia). Most of the map consisted of Sarasaland, with Dark Land to the east and Jewelry Land to the west. The South of Sarasaland consisted mostly of a vast desert, although the western most stretch of the large country bordered a small sea, south of which lay the Beanbean Kingdom. However, most of the Southern expanse of the continent was the Mushroom Kingdom, including the group of islands off the country's shore.

"As I was saying, we only took this narrow corridor," said Bowser, tracing a claw from the Koopa Kingdom's southern border, through the grassy area beneath the desert, and finishing at the Mushroom Kingdom capital, Toad Town. "So it wasn't that hard to bring us down. But you were saying that if we took _all_ of the Mushroom Kingdom, we'd stand a better chance of standing our ground."

"I _know_ that," growled Bowselta, exasperatedly joining Bowser at the map, and pointing around at the Mushroom Kingdom. "Grassland, Seaside, Dry Dry Desert, and all the offshore lands – Big Island and such – we'd take it all and Mario'd be running in circles. He'd take one sub-kingdom and move on to the next, only to find that by the time he's cleared that one, we would've already taken the first place back. I know the plan! _I_ made it!"

"Yeah, but there's a big problem with it," said Bowser.

"Oh _really_," said Bowselta, not expecting much from her somewhat dense mate.

"Yup," grinned Bowser. "You've forgotten that it'll take us _a lot_ of time to take all those places."

"So?"

"So, we'd run into the same problem as Mario. Whenever we take a place and move on to the next, Mario would just take the first one back."

"I know," said Bowselta. "That's why we've gotta bide our time. Mario and Luigi can't wait in the Mushroom Kingdom forever: they'll get bored and leave. Then we can come back. Sure it'd take a while, but look how fast we took over last time. It's not like we're going up against Sarasaland resistance: Mushroomians are pushovers, by the time word reached the Mario bros., we'll be all settled in."

"Settled in _where_?" pressed Bowser.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the Mushroom Kingdom's a big place. How are we supposed to keep a hold on seven sub-kingdoms, most of which aren't even part of the continent?"

"We'd let our underlings do that," said Bowselta.

"Which underlings? Apart from Kammy and Kamek, who would you trust with ruling a newly conquered territory for us? Who'd you expect would even stand a chance against Mario if he came back?"

Bowselta didn't say anything. Bowser was right (strangely enough).

The Koopa King saw her hesitation and continued. "Seven sub-kingdoms plus Dark Land. And only four people qualified to rule them all, one of which you hate, and one being yourself; meaning you'd have to give up your whole 'secret identity' thing."

"Dark Land will be fine without us for a bit, and we can combine all the mainland sub-kingdoms…"

"But we'd still have to worry about _five_ areas, one of which is quite large, meaning we wouldn't have much control. You know as well as I do that that won't work. We need to take over seven sub-kingdoms, and we have seven kids. It's not rocket science," said Bowser.

"Plus the added bonus of being able to take over all the lands at once," said Bowselta bitterly. "We could use those airships Ludwig and Iggy've been designing and deploy the troops with ease…"

"See, it's perfect!" grinned Bowser.

"Yeah, right up until Mario blows up the ships and kills our children!" snapped Bowselta.

"He won't!" argued Bowser, not willing to back down. "We can make the ships safe for the kids, so if they do crash, they'll be okay."

"Unless we can make the ships Mario-proof, they'll never be safe."

"I know," sighed Bowser. "But we can still give them an edge. You know those Magic Scepters the kings of the sub-kingdoms use?"

"Of course."

"The kids can take them and use 'em on Mario and that other guy!"

"Luigi?"

"Yeah, him."

"I dunno…" said Bowselta. She didn't want to endanger the Koopalings, but Bowser was right. They needed to learn what being a Dragon-Koopa was all about; they needed to know what they were up against when it came to humans; they needed to be part of the struggle. Even if it meant that they needed to face the Mario bros.

"Come on," goaded Bowser. "They won't die. I promise, there won't be a speck of lava in sight!"

Bowselta smirked and looked Bowser in the eyes. He really did know what he was doing. "Alright, fine!" she relented. "But only if the Koopalings want to."

-xxxxx-

Almost four months later, seven airships filled with Koopan soldiers and captained by seven Koopalings set sail for the Mushroom Kingdom. The Mario bros., Princess Peach and her chief aid Toad were not there to stop the attack – they were busy saving the land of Subcon from an evil frog. Of course, no one knew the foursome were in another _dimension_: all anyone knew was that they weren't in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Bowselta Koopa was one of them, and embraced the opportunity to besiege the defenseless and panicking nation with open arms. The Koopalings also relished the chance to take the Mushroomians by storm, having begged their parents to include them in their megalomaniac plots long before Bowser suggested his plan to Bowselta. The attack was devastating, and many more races joined the Goombas in defecting to the winning side, swelling the Koopa Kingdom's army. The whole affair was unlike anything undertaken by Bowser and Bowselta's forces until then. Against Sarasaland, the battles were long and bloody, and the last takeover scheme ended similarly thanks to Mario, even though it started with a relatively tame barrage of reversible Black Magic. What set this invasion apart was the fact that not a single shot was fired, not a single life lost, and only seven spells cast.

The Mushroom Kings were caught off-guard and the Koopalings took their Magic Scepters with ease, turning the royalty into various animals. After those initial displays of power, everyone else yielded. Not because their Kings had been defeated, but because they had been defeated by kids ranging from six-and-three-quarters to three-and-a-half years old. After all, if mere children could single-handedly bring the kings to their knees, how could the rest of the land stand a chance against an entire airship of their underlings? There were also rumours circulating that the Koopas had been responsible for the disappearance of Princess Peach and her plumbers, and that they and the Toad they had taken with them on their ill-fated picnic in the mountains were all dead. And, with no hope of rescue, many felt they had no choice but to yield to the Koopas, or suffer similar, undoubtedly gristly ends.

Bowser and Bowselta could not have asked for a better invasion. The Mushroom Kingdom was theirs, and even the Sarasalanders were concerned for themselves (during the last Koopa attack, they did nothing more than raise their southern defenses). But just as they had done the last time, the Mario brothers returned and ruined everything.

Having liberated Subcon, Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad came back to their home world, only to find it overrun by Koopalings. The Mario bros. immediately set off and systematically thrashed the invading armies, defeated the Koopalings, destroyed their airships, and restoring the Mushroom Kings of each land. Once again, Bowser and Bowselta were caught off-guard, but they sprang into action immediately: the queen reprising her role as clean-up crew, and the king thinking up a way to slow up the Mario bros.

Unfortunately, Mario and Luigi had learnt much about liberating worlds from their time in Subcon, and the devastation left in their wake was measurably larger than that of their last movement against the Koopa Troop. Between the miraculous return of the four heroes and the Koopalings' defeats, the Mushroomians of each sub-kingdom quickly came to their senses and defected back to their original side, sometimes being joined by actual Koopa Troop members. Bowselta, having seen what remained of her army, realized that her plans to retake the liberated land would never fly, and instead tried securing whatever land hadn't been scourged by Mario up to that point.

But the troops she sent were broken and tired and did little to stop Mario's inevitable conquest of the seven Koopalings. But by the time he and Luigi dethroned Ludwig from the island sub-kingdom of Pipeland, Bowser had enacted his backup plan of kidnapping Princess Peach. He sent a letter to the Mario bros. claiming that the entire point of the Koopalings' attack was to distract them while he took Peach back to his home in Dark Land. It was a half-baked plan to say the least, since Bowser didn't have any real use for the Princess other than bait for the Mario bros. Not that his reasoning for luring Mario and Luigi to the heart of the Koopa Kingdom was very good anyway – it was nothing more than his selfish desire for revenge against the humans who defeated his children and lost him the Mushroom Kingdom.

Needless to say, Bowser once again had his tail handed to him by the plumbers, this time being sent careening down a pit into the bowels of Koopa Castle. It wasn't pretty. Bowselta was furious that Bowser kidnapped Princess Peach and practically invited Mario and Luigi to lay waste to Dark Land. The army was disgruntled by their loss, and the citizens irritated by the intrusion on their home by the humans. Bowser was just as embarrassed and angry about his failure as the rest of country, with the exception of the Koopalings, who took their defeats quite lightly and couldn't wait to butt heads with the Mario brothers again.

Bowselta, on the other hand, decided to keep her kids as far away from the plumber twins as she could. Instead of letting her anger get the best of her and marching on the Mushroom Kingdom once again, Bowselta turned her sights to an easier target; one she was sure she could secure, winning back the respect of the Koopan people in the process.

-xxx-

"And, _why_ am I looking at a map of Dinosaur Land?"

"It's our next 'target'," sneered Bowselta.

"But, it's already part of the Koopa Kingdom," said Bowser, confused. "I lived on Yoshi's Island as a baby, remember?"

"Yes," said Bowselta. "But you haven't been there since you were what, three?"

"So?"

"So, I think its about time we make our presence in the archipelago known to its inhabitants," grinned Bowselta. "Think about it, most Dark Landers don't think of Dinosaur Land as a _real_ part of the kingdom, just as some useless little islands off our eastern shore."

"Well, they're right," shrugged Bowser. "I mean, sure Yoshi Cookies are pretty good, but other than that the place isn't that great. I mean, the Yoshi's themselves _hate_ us since I tried to steal their Stupid Happy Tree, or whatever it's called. And all the other natives are pushovers… well, except the Boos, the place is _crawling_ with Boos-"

"Exactly!"

"Huh?"

"Well, if we can make an alliance with the Boos and the other natives over there we could almost double our army!" explained Bowselta. "We can train the locals and reform the Yoshis-"

"No we can't," grumbled Bowser. "Besides, who'd want to? Lousy, stinking, gluttonous-"

"Whatever!" interrupted Bowselta. "The point is, we could make it look like we're getting all new land and all new troops, but in reality, its already ours. We wouldn't be risking anything – it's a win-win situation!"

"I dunno… The Yoshis…"

"Ugh, come _on_ Bowser, you're not a little kid anymore, you can take those big bad Yoshis," jeered Bowselta condescendingly. "Besides, compared to Mario and Luigi, they'll be no problem at all."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," said Bowser, brightening up.

"Of course I'm right!" grinned Bowselta jokingly. "I'm _always_ right!" And with that she turned around and marched jovially out of the room, confident in her latest and infallible plan.


	6. The Children

**A/N****: I had planned for this Dinosaur Land sequence to be part of Chapter 3, but it ended up being way longer than I originally planned, so I had to make it its own chapter. In retrospect, it's pretty fitting, actually, since my original idea was to have only this as the **_**Super Koopas**_** prequel. Needless to say, I eventually created much more backstory for Bowser and Bowselta, necessitating the creation of the full-length **_**Queen of the Koopas**_** that you see here, today.**

Chapter 4: The Children

The seven Koopalings watched as the battle-worn airship screamed through the air towards the rocks in Soda Bay. Nearby, a hoard of Boos also watched the airship's descent, sheltered from the sun by a large chocolate-brown boulder. The airship's destruction was part of a deal with the local Boos; the caverns under Dinosaur Land were an ideal place to build a new castle for Bowser, but they were also an ideal place for the Boos to live. So, Bowselta promised them new homes in exchange for the Valley of Bowser (as the titular Koopa King insisted on calling it); namely, six Ghost Houses, and a Sunken Ghost Ship.

The houses were already built and inhabited by most of the Boos, and once the airship collided with the rocks, the Ghost Ship would be ready. Bowser and Bowselta were both aboard the airship, Bowselta piloting it and making sure it would hit its mark, and Bowser making sure she got off before it did just that.

The Koopalings held their breath as the airship crashed against the rocks, smashing a massive hole though to the Valley behind, and falling into the water beneath it in a crumpled heap.

"Oooh, where are they? I can't see them!" squealed Wendy, bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet.

Lemmy quickly seized Iggy's glasses and put them up to his own eyes. "I see the Clown Car! There, over the mast!" called Lemmy over his blinded brother's protests.

As he returned Iggy's glasses, the other Koopalings caught sight of the approaching Clown Car. They whooped and cheered as their mother wriggled out from beside Bowser and landed next to them complaining loudly about the ride. "I _hate_ that thing! It's so cramped!"

"Then why'd ya use it?" asked Morton. "If you don't like it, it seems a bit funny you'd want to use it for such a big important role – carrying you and King Dad from certain death as the airship crashes against the rocks, and all! That was cool by the way, you should've see it! It was like-"

"Yeah, yeah, that's nice," said Bowselta, waving her son off and turning to the Boos. "Well, do you like it?"

The ghosts looked over at the airship's wreckage and talked amongst themselves. Eventually their leader, a large Boo who kept changing his name (at first he called himself Big Boo, then the Atomic Boo, and most recently, King Boo), floated forward. "It's fine." He then let off a burst of cackling, echoed by his subjects and the ghosts all vanished into thin air, most likely heading straight to their new home.

Bowselta grinned; with the Boos content, Dinosaur Land was effectively under her and Bowser's control. It had been only a few months since their last defeat at the Mario brothers' hands, and mere weeks since Bowser and Bowselta first arrived in Dinosaur Land. They had already built castles for the Koopalings, one on Chocolate Island and three on Dinosaur Island (in the Forest of Illusion, atop Cookie Mountain and in the Donut Plains); as well as a handful of fortresses across the land. Construction on a castle inside the caverns of Vanilla Dome were already underway; and with the Valley of Bowser opened up to the open air, they could start building another Koopaling castle, Bowser's own citadel, and another fortress. So far all they had been allowed to make below the surface was a Boo House (a preview for the rest of the houses for the ghosts to inspect freely while still safe from the sunlight).

Of course, buildings weren't the only things going up in Dinosaur Land. Two bridges between Vanilla Dome and Cookie Mountain had been created, and a third bridge connecting Yoshi's Island to the Donut Plains was on its way. For security's sake, all the bridges were retractable, and a plethora of additional safety measures had been set up around the islands, in case resistance sprung up against the Koopas. The most likely troublemakers were the Yoshis, but Bowselta had a way to deal with them; by renovating Bowser's old castle instead of building a new one, they would be able to point out to the Yoshis that they weren't invaders, but just returning home. That way, if the Yoshis did try to attack, they'd clearly be in the wrong.

Nevertheless, it was still a delicate situation, and Bowselta insisted on leaving it until after they had everything else done on the other Dinosaur Land Islands. Unfortunately, when the time came to return Yoshi's Island, Bowselta couldn't even come, having been called back to Dark Land by Kammy Koopa. The mainland Koopa citizens had grown restless without either their King or Queen present, feeling that Kammy didn't deserve their unwavering loyalty. Since Bowselta still handled political dissent better than Bowser, she reluctantly returned home, leaving Bowser to confront his demons and reassert the Koopan presence on Yoshi's Island.

-xxxxx-

Bowser looked up at the old castle. It had been destroyed and rebuilt a couple times already, but it still evoked strange emotions in Bowser. He had grown up here: he had frolicked in the grass, burning up the flowers and his own henchmen alike. Here he learned to walk, to read, to be evil – all thanks to Kamek. But the Magikoopa also taught Bowser about betrayal, and about pain, too. The King of the Koopas looked around the clearing; behind him rested the Clown Car and beside him stood Iggy. There wasn't a Yoshi in sight, and for that, Bowser was grateful.

Iggy, on the other hand, didn't care. "So _that's_ your old castle?"

"Yep," smiled Bowser, looking down at his unimpressed son. "Well, it wasn't as dirty and crumbly when I was there, but the workers say it's perfectly fine inside."

"Really? You mean there weren't any big old spider webs, or stupid Little Mousers hiding in the walls, or-"

"Well, no there _were_ those things," said Bowser. "But they've all been cleared out, and all the traps have been fixed up, and everything's been made safe."

"What's the point of safe traps?" smirked Iggy.

"You know what I mean," grumbled Bowser. At Bowselta's insistence, the lava in the castles had been charmed so it wouldn't hurt the Koopalings. It was complex magic and Bowser let Kammy handle it on her one visit to the archipelago. While he didn't like Bowselta's paranoia that the kids would be attacked, he whole-heartedly agreed with her protective planning.

A distant 'bang!' roused Bowser from his thoughts. "Grr, those stupid bridge-builders are _way _too noisy."

"Why? What're you worried about? Yoshis?" scoffed Iggy. Bowser glared at his son and the smile faded from the Koopaling's face. "Oh, sorry King Dad, I didn't mean-"

But Iggy was cut off by a frantic call: "Yoshi!"

The two Dragon-Koopas twisted around to find a group of eight Yoshis standing at the edge of the clearing.

"What are you doing? Filthy Koopas!" shouted a green Yoshi, the leader of the group.

"We're fixing up my old castle! And you better watch your freakishly long tongues or I'll have ya thrown in the dungeon!" bellowed Bowser.

"You can't do that!" argued the green Yoshi.

"Oh yeah?"

"_Yeah!_" chorused the Yoshis in their native tongue.

Bowser understood Yoshi, and sneered at his oppositions. "Well, here's a news flash for you dino-faces, YOU'RE WRONG! I'm Bowser, King of the Koopas!"

"_King huh, so some fool agreed to _mate_ with you?_" joked a red Yoshi.

"_I wonder if he's quit stealing cookies,_" chuckled an elderly yellow Yoshi.

"_It doesn't matter,_" snapped a blue Yoshi. "_Yoshi's our leader, not _him."

Bowser growled as the other Yoshis nodded in agreement. "Yoshi? That's your name? Man, are you guys original. Yoshi the species, Yoshi the name, Yoshi the language – made up of mostly the _word_ 'Yoshi' – and then there's Yoshi Cookies and Yoshi's Island. What's next, Yoshi's Safari?"

Iggy chuckled at his dad's remark, drawing the attention of the Yoshi pack.

"_Oh ho! The next generation of spoilt Koopa brats!_" commented the yellow Yoshi.

Iggy didn't understand what she said, but Bowser did. "Take that back! You old hag!"

"_How dare you insult the matriarch!_" screeched Yoshi, too upset to bother using English. He lunged forward towards Bowser, the other Yoshis at his heels.

But Bowser, having been forced to endure Yoshi attacks before, was too quick for them, pulling out a magic wand from his hammerspace (a common form of magic showcased by Hammer Bros. and the infinite amount of hammers they stored within their shells and could seemingly pull out of nowhere). Bowser shot a spell at the attacking dinosaurs, and while Yoshi himself managed to dodge, the other seven were immediately trapped inside yellow-spotted eggs.

"What did you do?" gasped Yoshi, once again using English.

"I turned them into eggs, stupid! Special eggs that only a powerful spell can break open, so don't even try!" gloated Bowser. "Of course, it's not that bad. I mean, your matriarch was looking a bit decrepit – I'd like to think I did her a favor!"

"_You monster!_" spat Yoshi, once again making a move on Bowser.

Bowser repeated his spell, but once again, Yoshi dodged, turning and running away from the castle.

"Crud," hissed Bowser. If Yoshi reached the village, they'd have an army of Yoshis bearing down on them in no time. Bowser set off after the Yoshi at once, ordering Iggy as he went. "Stay here! Watch the eggs!"

"But-" protested Iggy, however Bowser was already gone from the clearing. He knew he wasn't nearly as fast as a Yoshi, but he just needed a clear shot through the trees and he'd stop the dinosaur in his tracks.

Suddenly there was a flash of green scales ahead of the Koopa King. "_Repurasco_!" shouted Bowser, increasing the spell's power by speaking it aloud.

"Owowowowow!" cried Yoshi as the curse hit its mark.

Bowser grinned and caught up to his quarry. But he wasn't the only one to emerge into the small meadow Yoshi's egg lay in.

"Princess Peach?" gasped Bowser, skidding to a halt at the sight of the human standing over the egg.

"_You_!" she exclaimed, horrified. "What did you do to him?"

"He attacked me!" huffed Bowser. But with a jolt he saw that as the Princess pointed at the egg, its spots were turning from yellow to green. She was undoing his spell. "Wait, stop!" cried Bowser, waving his wand in the air and sending Peach stumbling backwards as the egg was magically encased in a block.

"Ahh, you evil beast!" screamed Peach. "HELP! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY BOWSER! HELP ME MARIO!"

"Mario?" gulped Bowser. He may had prevented Peach from freeing Yoshi, but if she called Mario, Bowser had no hope of taking Yoshi's Island.

He acted quickly, leaping forward and grabbing Peach, swinging her over his shoulder and rushing back to the castle. "AAAHHHHH! PUT ME DOWN! HELP ME MARIO! _HELP ME! AAAHHHHHH!_" Bowser winced, her cries were louder than the bridge-makers, and if they attracted the Yoshis, Peach was bound to attract Mario.

But there was a chance she hadn't, and Bowser had to take that chance. He just couldn't lose Yoshi's Island; Bowselta would _never_ forgive him.

Bowser burst into the castle clearing, Iggy jumped to his feet from beside the eggs. "What's going on? What's _Peach_ doing here?"

"No idea!" growled Bowser truthfully, running towards his Clown Car. "Now Iggy, take the eggs inside and-"

"Wait! You can't leave me with all these eggs, it'll make me a target!" whined Iggy, speaking at the top of his lungs in order to be heard over peach's frantic screaming.

"Oh fine!" snarled Bowser, scooping up six of the eggs in the arm that wasn't holding Peach. "Keep that one, I'll send the rest to your siblings once I've got the Princess secure in my castle. In the meantime, barricade yourself in _this_ castle and be ready for a Mario attack!"

"Mario? Cool!" grinned Iggy, eager to try and get revenge on the plumber for his last defeat.

Bowser smiled to himself at his son's eagerness, but spent no time to chat: the sooner Peach was away from Yoshi's Island the better. He leapt into the Clown Car and unceremoniously stuffed the shrieking Princess beneath him into the paradoxically spacious interior of the Clown Car (hammerspace magic allowed for the inside to be much larger than the outside, creating a vast amount of storage space in the otherwise compact helicopter). Although Peach's screaming was now slightly muffled, Bowser was still worried and sped away from Yoshi's Island as fast as his Clown Car would go. As the forest dropped away beneath him, Bowser couldn't help but wonder how he would be able to tell Bowselta about the Peach problem and still come away with all his limbs intact.

-xxxxx-

Bowselta was exhausted. She had spent nineteen straight hours trying to get the Dark Landers to behave while at the same time forcing the media to stay as far away from her as possible. She knew that sooner or later she would have to get over her sociophobia, but she would rather emerge into the public eye in a more favorable light. Like say, when she and Bowser took over the entire Mushroom World. When that happened, Bowselta would definitely want to take the credit. But berating the stupid citizens for badmouthing the establishment was hardly world domination, and Bowselta was perfectly happy using middlemen between her and the people.

Or rather, middle woman, since it was Kammy doing most of the talking. Where Kammy was now, Bowselta didn't know or care. All she cared about as she flopped down on her and Bowser's bed was that she could really use a good night's sleep. Well, as good as she could get in five hours – then the 8:00 AM alarm would go off, and she'd have to do it all over again…

She had just about dozed off when her bedroom door opened with a "bang!"

"What is it! What's goin' on!" exclaimed Bowselta, sitting bolt upright.

"Peach and the Mario bros.! They've gone to Dinosaur Land!" cried Kammy from the doorway.

"WHAT!" yelped Bowselta, leaping to her feet and tearing out of the room with Kammy at her heels (on her broomstick). "Why? What could they possibly be doing there?"

"We're not sure," said Kammy. "We only just found out they left, probably for a vacation – they have history with the Yoshis; well, at least the Marios do."

"Great, just great! I can only imagine what Bowser's gonna do when those _infuriating_ humans show up on our new land! Have you contacted him or the kids yet?"

"Unfortunately no," said Kammy. "It seems Ludwig's new telecommunications equipment isn't up yet, so no radio-"

"What about Crystal Balls?" demanded Bowselta, turning and bounding down the stairs.

"None of the Magikoopas out there are crystal gazers," sighed Kammy. "Just spell casters, for defense and construction work."

"You and Kamek can multitask, why can't they?" huffed Bowselta, reaching the bottom of the stairs and turning down a cavernous corridor.

"Kamek and I are unique – a cut above the rest," grinned Kammy.

"That much is obvious," snorted Bowselta.

"Why, thank you, Your Kindness," smiled Kammy, who had taken to bestowing creative titles on Bowselta as well as Bowser since her ascension to the throne.

"Don't mention it," said Bowselta as she and Kammy entered the subterranean aircraft Hangers. They made a beeline for Bowselta's _Mark __II_, as the Koopa Queen barked orders to the Koopa workers in the bay. By the time the two were settled in the _Mark __II_ and prepping it for launch, the ground crew had the Hanger Bay doors open, and the lava cast a fiery orange glow into the cockpit.

As Bowselta flew the _Mark __II_ out of the Hanger and skimmed over the molten rocks, Kammy tried radioing Bowser herself, but it was no use. She sighed and sat back in her chair, looking over at Bowselta concernedly. The Queen of the Koopas was glaring out of the window and seemed to be flying a bit lower than she usually did. Kammy could tell she was agitated. "Don't worry, they'll be okay."

"I just _know_ Bowser's gonna do something stupid, I just know it," hissed Bowselta.

"But you said so yourself: Dinosaur Land's ours and nothing can change that. We're allowed to be there; we're doing nothing wrong as far as any laws are concerned," insisted Kammy.

"But Bowser'll do something that _is_ wrong," sighed Bowselta.

"You don't know that," said Kammy, frowning.

"Yes, I do," said Bowselta, gazing sadly through the windshield at the volcanic clouds and jagged peaks of Dark Land.

-xxx-

By the time Bowselta and Kammy reached Dinosaur Land, the sun was once again high in the sky. Mario, Luigi and Peach had only arrived on Yoshi's Island a few hours ago, and despite Kammy's reassuring words, Bowselta was not surprised to see the smoking ruin on the island's north shore.

Bowselta landed the _Mark __II_ on the grass and ran to the castle with Kammy. The two dug in frantic silence amongst the rubble, unearthing handfuls of soldiers, most of them alive, some not so fortunate. Finally, Bowselta broke into the lava chamber of Iggy's room and to her relief, the molten rock had drained away (she was worried the modifications to Bowser's old abode hadn't been conducted in time).

"Iggy?" called Bowselta, widening the opening and heaving herself down into the darkness.

"Urghh, mom?" came a faint reply.

"Iggy!" cried Bowselta, breathing out a small flare and illuminating the cavern, spotting her son emerging from his shell to her left. She reached out her arm. "Here! Take my hand!"

Iggy heaved himself forward and gripped his mother's fingers in both hands as she hauled him up into her arms.

Bowselta shimmied back out of her hole and carried Iggy out of the ruins, looking around at the crowd of Koopas. "Where's Kammy?"

A nearby Koopa Troopa pointed skyward and Bowselta looked up just in time to see Kammy flying back down to the ground.

"What were you doing? Iggy needs medical attention!" scolded Bowselta, placing Iggy on the ground in front of the Magikoopa.

"No I don't," grumbled Iggy, stifling a wince.

"I'll be the judge of that," said Kammy, waving her wand over the Koopaling. "A few bumps and scratches, and a broken rib – nothing serious," she reported.

"Good," sighed Bowselta. "But what _were_ you doing up there?"

"I was seeing if I could locate Mario and Luigi, and I'm sorry to say it appears they've reached Morton's Castle," said Kammy.

"What?" Bowselta paled: it was the airborne Mushroom Kingdom invasion all over again. "Kammy, take Iggy back to Dark Land and send help for all these guys," said Bowselta, waving a hand over at the survivors, some of which were still digging in the castle ruins. "Come back in the _KoopaCord_ and rendezvous with me, I'm gonna try to head off the Marios before we have to dig up any more Koopalings."

"You think they'll level the other castles?" gasped Kammy.

"They've never had a problem with it before," shrugged Bowselta, before turning to Iggy. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yup," nodded Iggy.

"Good, but you wouldn't happen to know why Mario attacked? Because this land is technically ours."

"I know," said Iggy. "But the Yoshis attacked anyway and King Dad fought back and then Princess Peach appeared and was screaming and stuff, then King Dad took her and ran off. And he gave us all Yoshi eggs to watch, but I'm pretty sure Mario and Luigi got mine…"

"Don't sweat it," said Bowselta kindly, seeing the defeated look in Iggy's eyes. "I'm sure you tried your best to stop 'em, and your father's assured me that's no easy task."

"I bet you could get 'em," grinned Iggy.

"We'll see," said Bowselta softly, ruffling Iggy hair. She then turned and ran back to her _Mark __II_ without a second glance.

As it took off vertically into the air and cleared the treetops, Bowselta looked over at Soda Lake. The entrance to the Valley of Bowser had been magically lowered beneath the water, the only evidence of its existence being the Haunted Ghost Ship. Bowselta sighed, why did Bowser have to kidnap Peach again? He was probably thinking "When in doubt, do what you know"; that, or he simply panicked – either one was possible.

And either way, Mario wasn't going to stop until he saved the blasted princess; either way, Bowser had put his kids in danger once again. And, as if to drive the point home in her mind, when Bowselta turned to look to the north, she saw that the doors to Vanilla Dome had been flung open, and in front of them, Morton's Castle was reduced to rubble, the dust still billowing in the air.

-xxx-

Upon closer inspection, the situation wasn't as bad as Bowselta had thought it would be. While Mario had leveled Iggy's Castle with dynamite, Morton's had just been smashed to pieces, and as a result, most of its soldiers had survived. Some had already begun digging through the rubble by the time Bowselta arrived, and she managed to excavate Morton in no time, although he was a bit more banged up than Iggy.

Unfortunately, as Bowselta crawled out of the castle ruins with her son, she saw that the Cheese Bridge now spanned Soda Canyon, connecting the Vanilla Dome to Cookie Mountain. Mario was surely fighting his way across the bridge at that very moment. If Bowselta could join the fight, perhaps she could stop the accursed plumber before he reached Ludwig or any of the others.

But what about Lemmy? Mario undoubtedly thrashed the Koopaling and destroyed his castle on his way through the Vanilla Dome. What if he had sustained worst injuries than his brothers? Bowselta couldn't just leave him trapped in his ruined castle – what if he didn't survive?

Bowselta shook the thought out of her head. Lemmy wasn't going to die, but he needed her: that much was sure. She ordered the guards to continue digging up survivors and carried Morton to the _Mark __II_, flying it up to the ledge leading from the Vanilla Dome's exit to Cheese Bridge. After double-checking that Morton was okay, Bowselta sprinted from her plane to the cave exit.

Inside, the first thing Bowselta saw was the wreckage of Lemmy's Castle. Apparently, Mario had hammered away at the castle foundation and brought the upper levels crashing down. Lemmy's room was _in_ the foundations.

Bowselta gingerly pushed the rubble aside as she dug into the side of the ruin. Using her firebreath she managed to bore a narrow tunnel through the rubble, eventually coming across Lemmy's lava chamber, littered with crushed and melted pipes. "Lemmy!" called Bowselta, but there was no response.

Her heart hammering in her throat, Bowselta squirmed into the chamber and started investigating the pipes. Lemmy enjoyed playing in the pipes, and undoubtedly used them to fight Mario too. Sure enough, Bowselta swiftly came across the bodies of the two Goombas Lemmy had employed as his holographic doppelgangers. Then, in one of the last pipes, Bowselta found Lemmy, retracted into his shell, and not moving.

"Lemmy?" she choked, gently pulling the shell from the pipe, twisted by the heat from the lava. "Lemmy? Are you okay? Say something!"

Still no response.

"Lemmy, please!" begged Bowselta, looking back into the pipe to see if it might hold any clue to the condition of her son. But, all that was in there was Lemmy's favorite ball.

"Lemmy, here," she said, pulling the miraculously intact rubber ball from the pipe. "It's your ball!"

"R-really?" came a faint whisper.

"Yes, see!" grinned Bowselta, relieved that her son was alive.

Lemmy slowly pulled his head from his shell, his other limbs sliding out of their corresponding holes too. He was far worse off than his siblings, with singe marks on his face, arms and legs. But seeing his mother and his ball, he managed a weak smile. "That's good. I was worried the ball wouldn't make it – the pipe got really hot."

"You should have crawled out of the pipe: the lava's charmed so it won't hurt you, but since it still affected the pipes…" Bowselta fell silent, now was not the time to reprimand the little Koopaling.

"Sorry, I forgot," said Lemmy. "But the castle was shaking, I didn't want to be crushed…"

"I understand, and I'm so sorry you had to through all that," said Bowselta, carrying Lemmy back through the tunnel to the outside.

"It's okay," sighed Lemmy, then after a moment he asked. "Did ya find anyone else?"

"Iggy and Morton are fine, I'm not sure about Ludwig yet."

"Er, I meant in _this_ castle, but I guess that's good news…" said Lemmy.

"Oh, sorry. I haven't really been looking. Thee's probably lots of people in the upper levels, but the stuff I was digging through was really dense – I doubt anyone survived down here but you," explained Bowselta.

"What about those Goombas who were helping me out?" asked Lemmy.

Bowselta shook her head.

"Oh… That's too bad."

They reached the end of the tunnel and Bowselta was pleasantly surprised to see more help had arrived from elsewhere in the tunnel. Even a couple Boos were assisting the Koopas in digging out survivors.

After thanking them and telling them all to keep searching through the rubble, Bowselta took Lemmy back outside. The sunlight was painful to their eyes after the darkness of the cavern as they hurried back to the _Mark__ II_.

Bowselta placed Lemmy next to Morton, who was peaceful dozing and sat down in the pilot's chair. There was no time to lose, and she immediately flew the plane up towards Cookie Mountain. But when they rose up over the edge of the cliff, the plateau was bare. Ludwig's Castle wasn't even lying around in ruins. It was just gone.

-xxx-

Bowselta couldn't believe her eyes, how could the castle be _gone_? She flew the _Mark __II_ over the spot where the castle should have been and hovered in place, tipping the plane's nose forward so she could see directly below it. There was some rubble, and lots of twisted and deformed metal and wiring, no doubt the remains of Ludwig's carefully laid underground communication grid. The land was also scorched, as if a massive explosion took place there.

But that was impossible. If Mario had the means to totally obliterate the castle and had done so, Bowselta would have known. She would have felt the shockwave, even if she was deep within the wreckage of Lemmy's Castle. Bowselta flew the _Mark __II_ in circles, scouring the ground for any indication of what had become of Ludwig's Castle. As she banked east, something caught Bowselta's eye on the horizon. She twisted the plane around and looked to the north; one of the mountains was damaged, and thin wisps of smoke were rising from one of its steep slopes.

Bowselta hurriedly activated the _Mark __II_'s extrasensory equipment and scanned the mountain, bringing a magnified image of the mountainside up on the viewfinder. There, smashed against the grassy cliffs, were the remains of Ludwig's Castle.

Bowselta's heart leapt and she sped off to the mountain at full speed. What happened to the castle was mind-boggling, though Bowselta could guess at the reason for it. Ludwig loved experimenting, and the bowels of his castle were probably filled with chemicals and equipment, so if Mario tried to dynamite the castle like he did to Iggy's, there was a chance the explosion could be magnified and directed enough to blast the castle away. Sure it seemed a bit far-fetched, but it was better than nothing.

The _Mark __II_ reached the crash site in no time, and Bowselta buzzed the cliffs. Much of the castle had fallen off the mountain's sheer face, but plenty of still clung to the grass-covered ledges that jutted out of the wall. There were quite a few survivors amongst the wreckage, but Bowselta didn't have time to pick anyone up. Once Kammy returned from Dark Land with help, Bowselta would send someone to help these people; but for now, she was only concerned with Ludwig.

Unlike his siblings, Ludwig insisted that his battle room was up near to top of the castle, like Bowser's. Bowselta hoped this didn't mean Ludwig was driven into the mountain when the castle crashed, she just couldn't bear the thought of losing any of her kids, and especially not her eldest.

Suddenly, amongst the gray rubble and green grass, Bowselta glimpsed a flash of blue as the _Mark __II_ flew over the highest bunch of wreckage. She swung the plane around and hovered next to the cliff. There, amongst the ruins of the castle, lay Ludwig Von Koopa.

"Ludwig!" called Bowselta, using the _Mark __II_'s loudspeakers. The Koopaling jerked awake, looking around himself blearily. He caught sight of the massive plane and smiled faintly, getting shakily to his feet; he was covered in deep gashes and the grass beneath him was stained with his coppery blood. Bowselta tried to fly the plane closer, but the shape of the cliff prevented it. Instead, she turned the _Mark __II_ around, bringing the right wingtip right up to the ledge Ludwig was on.

He looked down at it and stepped towards it, swaying dangerously on his feet. Bowselta paled, he seemed to have lost a lot of blood: there was no way he would be able to cross the wing to safety. The Queen of the Koopa locked the _Mark __II_'s controls and dashed out of the cockpit. Lemmy had also fallen asleep and lay with his head on Morton's shoulder, neither stirring while Bowselta opened the _Mark __II_'s top hatch and cambered up the retractable ladder through the hole and onto the plane's back.

Bowselta braced herself against the wind and staggered across the _Mark __II_'s slippery red fuselage to the base of the wing, protruding straight out ahead of her. Fortunately the wings were built along the same level as the plane's back, and Bowselta didn't have to slide down any inclines to reach the wing, instead walking straight forward.

Ludwig watched her progress with a somewhat dazed expression.

"Stay there!" screamed Bowselta over the howling of the _Mark __II_'s jet engines. "I'll be right with you!"

A particularly strong gust caught Bowselta off guard and she fell down onto all fours, digging her finger and toe claws into the wing to hold on to the otherwise slippery and smooth surface.

Bowselta crawled the rest of the way, but as she neared the wingtip and Ludwig, the _Mark __II_ slowly started banking towards the mountain. Bowselta was worried this would happen: her weight was offsetting the engine output. If the plane crashed into the ledge, it and everyone aboard it would go careening down the cliffs.

There was precious little time left to act, and Bowselta quickly reached forward and heaved Ludwig onto the plane. He landed sprawled on his belly and scraped frantically at the wing to hold on, but his claws weren't nearly as sharp as Bowselta's and merely slid along the metal with ear splitting screeches.

"Wait, its okay, I've got you!" shouted Bowselta, the wind still whipping around her internal ears. "Come on, we need to get back to the plane's body _now_!" She started lugging Ludwig towards safety; with his added weight, the plane was even more unbalanced, and tilted dangerously towards the cliff. Suddenly with a sickening crunch, the wingtip made contact with the mountainside and the plane gave a horrid jolt that nearly dislodged Bowselta.

The angle had increased to 45 degrees and Bowselta was now facing downwards, her toe claws slipping from the _Mark __II_'s hull. Bowselta twisted around and dug her left hand into the wing, her right arm crossed beneath her chest as she clung desperately to Ludwig's wrist. Fortunately, the jolt of the plane hitting the cliff seemed to awaken something in Ludwig. And with great difficulty he pulled himself to his feet, his bloody hands gripping Bowselta's for dear life.

"Come on, climb up me, you can do it!" said Bowselta, pulling Ludwig up level to her own body. His foot was inches from the edge of the wing, but he didn't look down, instead reaching out with one of his arms and mutely digging his little claws into the crook of his mother's arm.

"That's it, hold on!" said Bowselta reassuringly as she heaved Ludwig up the wing beneath her body. "Now grab my other arm."

Ludwig obeyed, and the second Bowselta released his arm, the Koopaling reached forward and seized his mother's left wrist, his claws hooking over the edge of the golden bracer she wore there. But his grip wasn't as strong as it should have been, and Bowselta quickly used one of her knees to literally give Ludwig a leg up.

"Good, now hold on tight to my right arm," instructed Bowselta. Her son's grip on her forearm strengthened and she reached up and sunk her right hand's claws into the wing above her face, dragging Ludwig up along the wing on his belly. His grip involuntarily started to slacken and he tried to plant his feet into the plane, but Bowselta had it covered. She jammed her snout into the wing and pulled her body forward until her skull made contact with her son; now Ludwig was effectively sitting on her head, his blood tricking down onto his mother's face.

"Alright, now hook your legs around my horns!" ordered Bowselta. Beneath her the plane shuddered, the engines fighting against the mountain, threatening to twist the plane into a nosedive.

Ludwig did as he was told and moved his legs so the heels of his feet were pressed against the bottom of the horns, and his hips firmly planted on the opposite side. His knees partially obscured Bowselta's vision, but she didn't mind. "Okay, now I'm gonna start climbing so you're gonna have to let go of my arms. Stay as close to the wing as possible, there may already be some claw marks you can grip on to as we go. Okay? Ready?"

"Yes," croaked Ludwig; his voice was quite hoarse, but there was no time to worry about that now, and Bowselta set off at once, going as fast as she could without worrying about knocking Ludwig off. They had nearly reached the plane's body when the wing surface started to tilt. Bowselta looked over and to her horror, realized the _Mark __II_was slowly turning towards the cliff, its nose being forced slightly downward by the winds as it pivoted on its right wingtip.

Ludwig gave a frightened yelp and Bowselta quickly tilted her head so the Koopaling was once again pointed straight up, even though the wing no longer did so itself.

It was a race against time as Bowselta climbed up the last stretch of wing; if the _Mark __II_tilted forward any more they would never get to the fuselage in time, and they would all die.

Then, miraculously, Bowselta reached the base of the wing. She immediately let go of the hull with her claws and grabbed Ludwig. Lunging forward with her hind legs, she dived through the hatch, twisting about and landing heavily on her feet inside the _Mark __II_, sending bolts of white-hot pain through her body.

"You made it!" cried Lemmy; having been woken up by the planes' shuddering with Morton.

"Take care of him!" ordered Bowselta, placing Ludwig onto the ground with his brothers while she ran to the cockpit, ignoring the pain in her legs as she sprang up and slammed the top hatch closed on her way.

She seized the steering wheel and banked the _Mark __II_ to its left. There was a violent jerk as the right wingtip came dislodged from the mountain and then the plane practically rolled onto its back as the resistance to the turn vanished. Bowselta tried to correct it, but the _Mark __II_ went careening into a nosedive.

She could hear her children's screams as they were flung to the back of the plane. Fortunately Bowselta herself was merely pushed deeper into the driver's seat, and was able to keep a hold on the steering wheel, pulling back on it with all her might and managing to bring the _Mark __II_ out of the dive. She banked the plane and increased its altitude, flying away from the hazardous mountain as fast as she could.

-xxx-

As the plane leveled out over the Forest of Illusion, Bowselta once again locked the controls and hurried out of the cockpit. Lemmy and Morton were huddled at the back of the room with Ludwig, who was unconscious.

"What do we do? We can't get him to wake up!" cried Lemmy.

"Yeah, and what happened? We've been flying all over the place back here! And before that there was a 'bang!' And the plane kept groaning, and-"

"Morton!" snapped Bowselta.

"Sorry," mumbled the motor mouth.

"It's okay – at least I know you're feeling better," sighed Bowselta, kneeling down next to Ludwig.

"Actually, I'm not. I've got a horrid headache and I'm seeing double, and-"

"Can it, will ya?" hissed Lemmy, seeing the look in Bowselta's eyes as she bent over the oldest Koopaling. "How bad is it?"

"He's lost a lot of blood already, but I should be able to stop the bleeding," said Bowselta, licking her hands and smearing the saliva all over Ludwig's wounds. She looked over and caught sight of Morton and Lemmy's shocked and disgusted faces. "Dragon-Koopa saliva's the best thing for cuts, it's even better than bandages."

"It's grosser too," said Lemmy, making a face.

"But was cooler! We're like walking medi-kits! Like Magikoopas, but they use spells and potions, not spit. Hey, speaking of which, can't you do magic too?" asked Morton.

"Not this kind of magic," sighed Bowselta, wishing she could simply wave a wand and heal her kids. But she had at least managed to stop Ludwig's bleeding. "You guys watch him – if you can: I mean, if you wanna go back to sleep I won't mind, but…"

"Don't worry Mom," chirped Lemmy. "We're not sleepy, right Morton?"

"Ummm, actually…"

"Ah well, _I'm_ not sleepy!"

Bowselta smiled, and looked around the room sadly. The _Mark __II_ was primarily a two-Dragon-Koopa plane and this room was meant for cargo so it wasn't exactly that conformable a place to snooze in. "I wish this plane had more chairs."

"I don't mind sleeping on the floor," grinned Morton, before looking over at his oldest brother. "Ludwig doesn't mind either, by the looks of it."

"He didn't have a choice to not sleep on the floor," muttered Lemmy.

"Whatever," shrugged Morton. "The point is, after this is all over, you can install chairs back here, Mum. And in the meantime, we won't complain!"

"That's very kind of you," said Bowselta, standing up. "But I have to go and land the plane, we'll be reaching Roy's Castle any minute now."

"You think Mario got him too?" asked Morton sleepily. "'Cause Roy's tough…"

"I know, but I don't think that'll matter," sighed Bowselta, returning to the cockpit, steeling herself for what she knew was coming next.

-xxx-

As usual, Bowselta was right. Mario had dynamited Roy's Castle, by the looks of the debris. Once again, the damage had been done long before the _Mark __II_ arrived; survivors were already wriggling out of the mess, aided by the ones who escaped before them.

There were no Magikoopas in the lot, so Bowselta was unable to get Ludwig proper medical help. She took out her frustration, concern, and anger on the ruined castle; digging through the debris with such vigor her fingers were raw by the time she reached Roy.

Like Morton, he had been beaten up pretty badly, and when Bowselta pulled him out of the castle his words were garbled and delirious. "Hey Ma, I gotta Mario, I blew up da castle an' he went boom too! Heh heh, someone shoulda seen his face! I didn't see him, see? Hee hee!"

Whatever Roy was going to say next was cut off by a violent session of vomiting. Bowselta was covered, but she didn't care. Roy obviously had a bad head injury; his sunglasses had even been cracked during some impact he sustained. But unlike Morton, Roy managed to stay awake and Bowselta barely had to support him as he limped back over the _Mark __II_.

As they neared the plane, Lemmy's voice filled the air over the loudspeakers, "Mom! Mom! Come quick! Something weird's happening to Wendy's Castle! Hurry!"

"What now?" groaned Bowselta, running the rest of the way to the _Mark __II_ with Roy trailing behind. Bowselta ran into the cockpit and came up behind Lemmy. The plane was parked on a ridge and had a clear view of Chocolate Island, so Bowselta had programmed the sensors to watch Wendy's Castle, in case she could get an advanced warning and come help her daughter if the plumbers attacked.

Lemmy swiveled in the pilot's seat and looked fearfully up at his mother. "Mario must've already been in the castle when we arrived, 'cause I just saw him come out with a Yoshi Egg, then he got out some window washer thing and wiped at the castle and…"

The frightened Koopaling lapsed into silence, and Bowselta could see why. The image on the view screen was indeed disturbing; when they arrived it had shown Wendy's Castle, now all that remained was a seething yellow puddle.

"Start up the plane," ordered Bowselta, turning and racing out of the cockpit. Roy was staggering up the last few steps to the doorway and Bowselta gracelessly pulled him the rest of the way, slamming the door closed behind him.

"Hey! Dat hurt!" grumbled Roy.

Bowselta ignored him and returned to the cockpit. Lemmy had managed to start the engines and obediently hopped out of his mother's chair as she approached. He wandered back to the other Koopalings as she piloted the _Mark __II_towards Chocolate Island.

Roy had regained some sense by now, and was explaining what happened between him and Mario to Morton, who was still half-asleep. "So, I saw him laying out da dynamite, and I ran down and was about to cut da fuse. But den I remembered Ludwig telling me dat he didn't even use anytin' ta bring your castle down, he just hopped on it and it crumbled. So I figured, even if I get rid o' da TNT, Mario's still gonna pulverize da castle. So instead, I rigged da fuse so it looked like a dud, den when Mario came over ta see what went wrong, 'boom!'"

"Wow! That's so great! Make Mario pay!" chuckled Morton absentmindedly.

"How'd _you_ get away from the blast?" asked Lemmy.

"Huh? Oh, I ran fer it," shrugged Roy. "Didn't get too far dough. At least my head's cleared up a bit since den, ya shoulda seen me. I was sick all over Ma."

"So _that's_ why she smells funny all of a sudden," mused Lemmy.

The Koopalings continued to chit-chat until Bowselta landed the plane next to what was once Wendy's Castle. She dashed out without another word to her kids and ran to the edge of the pool.

It was still steaming and hissing sinisterly, but Bowselta didn't care – her daughter was somewhere in the pool, and she had to get her out. Bowselta leapt onto a bit of rock jutting out of the liquid, hoping to get to the middle of the pool by hopping from one protruding object to the next. Unfortunately the rock couldn't take her weight and shifted suddenly, sending a wave of liquid speeding into a large hunk of concrete. The fluid lapped up against the old piece of castle, and as Bowselta watched, the gray rock blackened and melted away, sending the upper portion of the rock cascading down into the pool of acid.

It hit with a large splash and Bowselta was showered in specks of corrosive yellow liquid. She managed to shield her face, but flecks of acid covered her arms and body, and entire wave came over the rock and drenched her feet in the burning liquid. She yelped and jumped back to shore, trying to rub the painful specks from her skin as they ate away at her scales. She winced as her feet became covered in angry red blisters and looked out at the acid, wondering how she could save Wendy. Or indeed, if Wendy still needed saving.

Suddenly the air was filled with a distant rumbling and the ground began to shake, the pool of acid's glassy surface being distorted by minute waves. The entrance to the Valley of Bowser was rising in Soda Bay; soon Mario and Luigi would reach Larry's Castle, and then Bowser himself.

Bowselta looked back at the acid pool, the earthquake had subsided and the liquid was once again still and calm, but the air was still filled with a rumbling. And it was getting louder. Bowselta looked up as the _KoopaCord_ flew into view, its landing gear out. She watched in desperate silence as the plane bounced to a halt along the rocky ground, coming to rest beside the _Mark __II_.

"Kammy!" called Bowselta the moment the Magikoopa emerged from the _KoopaCord_.

"Your Loudness!" responded Kammy, flying over on her broomstick. She gasped as she got a good look at Bowselta. "What happened to you?"

"Acid!" said the Koopa Queen, pointing to the pool in front of her. "Wendy's in there somewhere! She might've been protected in the lava chamber, there's some special measures in there."

"Yeah, I know, I installed most of it," said Kammy, before pulling out a vial of white powder and scattering its contents across the acid, turning the yellow liquid clear. "Magic Base," explained Kammy. "It'll neutralize any acid."

"Thanks," said Bowselta wading into the newly formed salt water.

"Wait, there's still the stuff that the acid melted in there!" warned Kammy.

"I don't care!" snapped Bowselta, reaching the centre of the pool. Here, the water flowed down into a deep chasm. Bowselta knew it led to the lava chamber, since Wendy's room had been in the very heart of the castle. The queen took a deep breath and plunged into the salty brine. The trace elements in the water burnt Bowselta's eyes, but she kept swimming. The tunnel soon opened up into what Bowselta recognized as the lava chamber. She looked around but there was no evidence that the room had ever been more than a hollow hole in the ground. The pipes had been melted away, and what was left of the lava was solidified against the walls. There were no remains of any bodies.

Bowselta looked up and saw that the chamber had air at the top. This didn't surprise her: when acids were neutralized by bases they produced water, salt and carbon dioxide. Still, it was worth investigating, and Bowselta swam to the top of the cavern. There was a lot of gas atop the water, and Bowselta was a bit suspicious that it wasn't all CO2. She breathed out a small flare and it burned in the air, meaning there was oxygen present. She let out her breath and sucked in a new lungful of air. It seemed stale, like someone else had breathing it for a while.

The Dragon-Koopa knew the increased carbon dioxide levels were due to the acid neutralization, but she still felt hopeful. She breathed out another small flare and looked around above the water. Nothing.

But that didn't discourage Bowselta, she swam around and faced the other direction, letting out another flare. And there, right ahead of her, lying in a blistered heap on a small rock ledge, was Wendy O. Koopa.

"Wendy!" cried Bowselta, her voice echoing in the darkness.

Her daughter stirred. "Mommy?"

Bowselta swam over to the ledge through the pitch-black chamber. "Yes, I'm here."

"But, the freakish liquid…"

"Kammy neutralized the acid, it's just water now," explained Bowselta. Clutching onto the edge of the outcropping, since there was no room for her to climb on.

"Oh, that's good…"

"Yeah, now we're gonna swim back to surface. You're gonna have to hold your breath and hold on to me, I'll do all the work," explained Bowselta.

"But I'm a good swimmer," said Wendy indignantly.

"Yes, but you're hurt," said Bowselta. "I know how painful those blisters are."

"Yeah, some day I'm gonna make Mario _pay_," hissed Wendy vehemently.

"Well, first we have to get out of here," chuckled Bowselta. "I'm going to make another flare so you can see what you're doing. But it'll use up most of the oxygen in the air so you're gonna have to hurry and grab hold of my horns."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not a baby," huffed Wendy. Bowselta turned around in the water and breathed out fire at a right angle to the ledge, watching as Wendy crawled over and clambered onto the back of her neck and grabbed her horns.

"Okay," said Bowselta, swimming out into the middle of the cavern. "On the count of three I'm going under."

"Okay."

"One… Two… Three!" The two Dragon-Koopas simultaneously sucked in as much air as they could, and Bowselta duck-dived down into the water. She swam as fast as she could through the chamber into the tunnel, and then up to the surface of the pool. They broke into the sunlight, Wendy was still gasping and sputtering by the time her mother had waded back to shore.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're okay!" cried Kammy, flying over on her broomstick.

"Do you have anything for her blisters?" asked Bowselta, crouching down to let Wendy slide off her head onto the ground.

"I think so," said Kammy, landing beside the Koopaling. Wendy was barely recognizable; her pearl necklace, ballet shoes and golden bracelets were all gone. Even her bow had been eaten away by the acid, and there wasn't a single large patch of skin that wasn't inflamed by blisters.

"Good," said Bowselta. "The other kids are still in the _Mark __II_; I'm pretty sure Roy and Morton both have concussions, Lemmy's covered in burns, and Ludwig's lost so much blood."

"What?" gasped Kammy.

"Take care of them and meet me in the Valley of Bowser, I'm gonna try to head Mario and Luigi off in the _KoopaCord_," said Bowselta, turning and running towards the plane.

"Wait! What about you!" called Kammy. "You need medical attention too!"

"I'll be fine!" shouted Bowselta, boarding the _KoopaCord_. Her injuries were of no consequence – all that mattered was that the plumbers were going after her last child. She and Bowser had kept Larry nearby because he was the youngest; now Mario and Luigi were coming at him after thrashing all his older siblings. They were primed for battle and Larry didn't stand a chance. Bowselta only hoped she would get there in time.

-xxx-

But her hopes were in vain, and Larry's Castle was no more. Bowselta landed the _KoopaCord_ and started digging in the rubble, not caring that the wreckage wasn't even piled in the spot where the castle had been built, but down at the bottom of the small ridge it stood next to. Another time, Bowselta would have marveled that Mario had the strength to throw the castle from its foundation – though it was probably magically procured strength; a gift from the Star Spirits, perhaps.

However, right now Bowselta had more important things on her mind. Larry's Castle had been the most heavily fortified citadel, filled with traps and weapons of all sours that Larry figured would protect him. He was wrong. Mario got past the obstacles, and now what remained of them hindered _Bowselta's_ progress. The debris was littered with toxic potions and sharp razor edges and digging though it all was a nightmare.

Bowselta came across bloody corpse after bloody corpse. Most had been killed by Mario and Luigi; some they were covered in singe marks and deep gouges that had been cut into them by Super Capes. Others had been trampled and stomped, their skulls bashed in by the murderous plumbers; and still others were bunt to crisps, having been pushed into the lava by their opponents. The more Bowselta dug, the more anxious she became. More than once she misjudged her actions and brought debris crashing down on herself, having dug into the lower portions too quickly and frantically. The poisons and chemicals stung her skin, but unlike the acid, they left no marks on her think scales – that task was completed by the wreckage itself. Bowselta's mishaps left her covered in small scratches from the sharp rocks, and one or two large gashes from dislodged weapons.

It was after one of these collapses that Bowselta found Larry, unconscious and pinned under a mountain of rubble. Bowselta reached forward and seized the concrete block that had the Koopaling trapped against the ruins beneath him. Using every ounce of strength in her, Bowselta heaved up on the block, lifting it away from Larry's back; she then used one of her legs to shove Larry out from under the slab. Once the Koopaling was clear, Bowselta let the block crash back to the ground, ducking down and shielding Larry from the avalanche of rubble brought down by her actions.

They were completely buried, but that didn't deter Bowselta, and she promptly scooped Larry up into her arms and used her firebreath to blast a way out of the rubble. The hole swiftly started to be filled with another wave of debris, but Bowselta managed to push through the wreckage and burst into the comparatively fresh air of the Valley of Bowser.

She picked her way down the ruins and reached solid ground off to the side of the path leading from Larry's Castle to Bowser's. Bowselta looked down at Larry; he looked as bad as Ludwig, with cuts and scrapes all over his body. He also had a particularly nastily looking gash on his forehead. Bowselta, shifted the Koopaling so he was cradled in her right arm, and once again covered her left hand in spit, wiping it over Larry's wounds.

The Koopaling stirred with a groan.

"Larry?" breathed Bowselta.

"Mom?" he said blearily, opening his eyes. Bowselta could tell something was wrong as Larry tensed up and looked around frantically, suddenly wide awake.

"Larry? What's wrong?" she asked, her voice quavering,

"I- I can't see!" he wailed, his sightless eyes filling with tears.

Bowselta paled, but hastened to comfort her youngest child. "D- don't worry, calm down it's okay."

"But I'm _blind_!" cried Larry. "How will I be able to do _anything_!"

"Shh, don't worry. Please, calm down," said Bowselta, making sure to keep her voice level.

"But-"

"No 'buts'!" ordered Bowselta. "Now listen to me. Kammy will be able to fix the bump on your head in no time. You're not going to stay blind forever, okay? You're gonna be fine. But you have to calm down, you've got a lot of injuries and you don't want to overexert yourself."

"So, I'll be able to see again?" whimpered Larry.

"That's what I said, wasn't it?" smiled Bowselta.

"I- I guess…" said Larry, sniffing, "but, what about the others. The last thing I heard was that Mario was heading to Ludwig's Castle, then all the lines went dead – I couldn't even talk to King Dad."

"Your siblings are fine," said Bowselta. "Everyone's okay. Kammy'll be here any minute with them, and she'll be able to fix you up too, then we'll all go home and rest."

"But what about Mario?" asked Larry wearily. "Did he get King Dad?"

"I don't know," sighed Bowselta, looking up at the castle. Light poured out of its windows and illuminated the Valley, and the bright neon "Bowser" sign above the door bathed Bowselta and Larry in a rainbow of colours. She couldn't believe Mario and Luigi were in that very building, perhaps pummeling Bowser himself at that very moment.

"I hope not," said Larry. "I hope he's okay."

"Me too," said Bowselta.

"It was really scary, when the castle got smashed," murmured Larry, burying the side of his face into Bowselta's soft belly scales.

"Well, its over now," said Bowselta, stroking Larry's head comfortingly.

Larry remained silent for a moment, his hands managing to find Bowselta's Paratroopa shell charm as he rested his head against her neck. "Thanks Mom."

"For what?" she asked.

"For being here," sighed Larry, drifting off to sleep, still clutching his mother's charm.

Bowselta stood in silence, still cradling Larry. She had just made up her mind to drop Larry off on the _KoopaCord_ and then try to help Bowser, when there was an explosion from the roof of the castle. Bowselta looked up to see something spiraling up through the air; sounds of enraged screaming floated down from it. She watched in horror as the Clown Car continued flying out of control, making contact with the cavern roof and disappearing in a large orange fireball.

She stared up at the area with bated breath, trying to glimpse any sign of wreckage or a body falling back to the ground. But there was nothing but smoke, and faint rays of sun filtering through to the ground. Bowselta squinted up at the collision site; she couldn't believe the Clown Car managed to break right through to the surface, but it had.

Another loud 'boom' suddenly echoed through the Valley of Bowser. Bowselta wheeled around to see the air surrounding Bowser's castle filled with fireworks, some even forming heart shapes in the sky. It made Bowselta sick. The fireworks were Koopan property, and the Mario bros. were using them to celebrate _their_ victory – to celebrate the Koopas' loss.

Bowselta was still glowering up at the pyrotechnics when the front door to Bowser's castle slammed open. The Queen of the Koopas was bathed in harsh light; it was almost blinding but she managed to recognize the silhouettes exiting the castle. She ducked down behind the ruins of Larry's Castle and watched as Mario and Luigi tromped across the bridge, followed by a green Yoshi who was carrying Princess Peach on his back and leading a trail of seven Yoshi eggs. Bowselta's blood boiled with hatred; if she hadn't been holding Larry, she would have sprung out of her hiding place and torn those monsters apart. She'd make them pay for what they did to her children, to Bowser…

But for now, all she could do was remain crouched in the shadows, silently seething with rage as Mario and co. disappeared around the bend. She waited in silence as their voices faded away, drowned out by the booming of the fireworks overhead. But, there was another sound in the distance, a low droning noise, growing steadily louder.

Bowselta knew that noise, and soon enough the _Mark __II_ roared into view, skirting along the jagged cliff edge of the Valley of Bowser, as far from Mario as possible. The queen watched as it flew over and came to a stop, hovering over the _KoopaCord_ for a moment before vertically descending, landing beside the first plane on the cavern ground. Bowselta had reached the plane before its engines had fully turned off, and waited anxiously for Kammy to appear.

"It's about time!" she snapped as the old Magikoopa opened the side door.

"Your Brashness!" responded Kammy. "Why so… brash?"

"Mario blew Bowser away!" exclaimed Bowselta.

"So, you mean it was _him_ that went flying off?" gasped Kammy.

"Maybe, the Clown Cart did go straight through the cavern roof," said Bowselta, waving in the direction of the hole in the ceiling with her free arm.

Kammy looked up. "That's where the thing came from. But it was nothing less than a great fireball!"

"I have to go find him," said Bowselta. "Here, take Larry: he needs medical attention, right away."

"Ouch, that's one nasty head wound," winced Kammy, peering at the Koopaling as Bowselta attempted to pry his hands from her charm.

"It's blinded him," said Bowselta, but her anger subsided as Larry gave a small whimper at her attempts to remove the charm from his grasp. "Ah, fine, he can keep it for now," she relented, bowing her head and slipping the trinket off her neck.

She carefully handed Larry to Kammy; while he fit snugly in his mother's arms, he was almost the same size as Kammy, and she was barely able to put her arms around his middle to keep him upright. Still, she managed to put on a confident smile as her legs quaked under her robes. "Don't worry, I'll have him patched up in no time."

"Good, and then get them all back home so the Medikoopas can give you a hand, I'll meet you back there," said Bowselta, turning and heading over to the _KoopaCord_.

"Wait!" cried Kammy, causing Larry to shift uneasily in his sleep.

"I'll lick my own wounds!" called Bowselta irritably. "Deal with the Koopalings!"

"But-" began Kammy, however Bowselta was already hopping up into the _KoopaCord_. The old Magikoopa muttered darkly to herself. Sure the Queen of the Koopas was tough, and sure she had spent most of her life looking after herself, but she should still learn to accept help once in a while. Especially when her health was at stake.

But then again, Kammy never had kids; she had been married once, but a childhood disease had left her sterile, and when she was unable to conceive, any affection she had for her husband also unraveled. The only person she had ever been truly close to was Kamek, and he left his sister for bigger and better things the first chance he got. As rash as Bowselta seemed to be acting, Kammy knew it was because of her love for Bowser and the Koopalings; and despite her own lonely life, she knew better than to try and mess with love.

-xxxxx-

The sun was once again sinking in the sky; to Bowselta, the day's events seemed to span an eternity, but at the same time, it seemed as though they flashed by with lighting speed. Bowselta locked the _KoopaCord_'s controls. She had used the ship's sensors to figure out which way the Clown Car had flown, and for the last couple hours she had been slowly flying low over the ocean, her eyes peeled for any sign of debris.

A couple times she spotted a small fragment of the Clown Car floating on the waters, but never enough to warrant a closer inspection, since the crash site would be riddled with wreckage, even if it was in the middle of the ocean. Bowselta yawned; her adrenaline levels were slowly coming back to normal, and she was starting to appreciate how draining it was to stay awake for nearly forty hours straight. Of course, she wasn't a stranger to sleep deprivation: when she was the Shadow Thief, she'd spend days on end without much rest as she spied on her next target or hid from the authorities.

It was the circumstances of the lack of sleep that were hard on Bowselta this time; she had never endured a more stressful, not to mention _physically_ painful twenty-four hours. Her scrapes and cuts were all clotted up, but many still stung – though not as much as the acid blisters dotting her skin. Her feet still felt like they were on fire, her legs were still sore from her heavy landing in the _Mark __II_ with Ludwig, and her arms were no better after all the frantic digging through the castle ruins.

However, none of this stopped Bowselta. She barely spent the time to seal up her scrapes with saliva, she was so concerned about Bowser. Sure he was a Near-Immortal, but there was always a chance his latest defeat could hand him one of the few injuries that could end his life. Bowselta didn't want to think about that; she wouldn't be able to bear it if Bowser died. When they first met all she wanted was for him to be dead, and now the irony burned in the pit of her stomach.

Then, on the horizon Bowselta saw what she was looking for: a cloud of smoke, still dissipating in the air. She immediately seized manual control of the _KoopaCord_, speeding towards the source of the pollution; miraculously, it seemed the Clown Car had landed on an island – perhaps some long-due mercy from the Star Spirits? She brought the plane on a final approach and banked sharply, circling the tiny rock and looking sideways through the window at what was left of the Clown Car. Some pieces were still smoldering and wisps of smoke steadily rose into the air, being swept up by the _KoopaCord_'s propeller engines and their vicious slipstream.

Bowselta landed the _KoopaCord_ in the ocean, using its hull like a boat's bow and leaving the landing gear retracted. After firing a harpoon from the plane's belly into the rocks below (thus securing the _KoopaCord_ in place beside the island) she crawled through the top hatch and jumped onto the shore.

The rock was small and barren, and Bowselta managed to pick her way through the wreckage with ease, having left the _KoopaCord_'s floodlights on to supplement the reddening rays of the setting sun. She soon came across her mate, half hidden beneath a large piece of the Clown Car.

"Bowser!" she cried, pushing the hull fragment off his shell and dropping to her knees next to him, looking him over for serious injury. He seemed to be having trouble breathing so Bowselta removed his collar, taking pressure off his trachea. It seemed to help, and she took off his bracers too, noticing the heavy bruising beneath them. Most of Bowser's injuries were burns, although as Bowselta carefully rolled him onto his back, she noticed a fair number of scrapes, and much more bruising.

She propped Bowser up against a large boulder, and proceeded to seal his wounds that hadn't stopped bleeding on their own yet. But unlike with the Koopalings, Bowselta didn't bother using her hands to slather on her saliva – her tongue worked just fine.

She, of course, had an ulterior motive for this, and it paid off as her familiar, lascivious actions roused Bowser from unconsciousness with a long, drawn out moan.

"Bowser?" said Bowselta, sliding up to his face.

"Urghh," groaned Bowser, opening his eyes and peering into Bowselta's. "Why'd you stop?"

Bowselta smirked. "_How_, after all that's happened, can you think about something like _that_."

"Hey," grinned Bowser lecherously. "You were the one licking me."

"That was for medical purposes," bluffed Bowselta, lifting herself off of Bowser's reclining form.

"Sure it was," he sneered, pulling himself up into a sitting position against he boulder. "Are the kid's okay?" he asked seriously.

"Some of them were hurt badly, but Kammy's taking care of them," said Bowselta.

"That's a relief," breathed Bowser, massaging his forehead. "But if I ever get my hands on that stupid plumber and his idiot brother then I'll…" but he drifted off, having caught sight of Bowselta.

She was still resting on her knees, slouched over with her forearms resting along her thighs. Her head was bowed slightly and the majority of her face was in shadow, but what Bowser could see of it was not pretty. There was blood smeared all over her brow, some of it was black and crusted, but there was the unmistakable glint of Dragon-Koopa blood, which didn't dry up but remained liquid for hours, turning sticky and retaining its metallic shine. Her hair was matted, probably with more blood, and she was covered in dirt, grime, blisters and more blood. Her golden armbands had large holes melted into them, their twisted edges digging into her skin; one bracer was totally gone, as was her charm.

But the scariest thing about Bowselta wasn't her injuries – what really shook Bowser was that she was _crying_. He had never seen her cry: not for happiness, not for sadness, _never_. And yet here she was, quaking silently, tears sliding down her face as she stared fixedly at the ground.

"Bowselta, wha-" stammered Bowser, pushing himself off the ground, ignoring the pain that shot through his body. "What's wrong?"

"Everything!" she hissed, not looking up at Bowser.

"But, I'm okay, and the kids are okay, so-"

"But that shouldn't even be an issue here!" blurted out Bowselta, looking up at Bowser, who was now kneeling in front of her. "Dinosaur Land was _our_ land! We had a right to be there, and Mario just attacked!"

"Well, that's sorta my fault: I kidnapped Peach…" mumbled Bowser.

"Yeah, I saw her leaving," snapped Bowselta. "That was a really _stupid_ thing to do, Bowser."

"Yeah, I know, but I had to stop her, she was trying to help the Yoshis-"

"Iggy told me all about it, about how the Yoshis attacked," said Bowselta.

"Yeah well, I mean, after the fact, once I had Peach back at the castle I _tried_ to explain everything to her. I offered to release her if she'd call off the Yoshis, I said I'd release the ones I had already trapped, but she wouldn't listen! She wouldn't accept the place was mine fair and square, she just kept saying how I was a monster, and how horrible it was that I kept attacking places. And then Mario got Iggy, and I sorta got tired of trying to reason with Peach and tried to kill the stupid plumbers, but-"

"But you didn't," said Bowselta.

"I know, I'm sorry," said Bowser, hanging his head.

"You didn't want to confront the Yoshis," sighed Bowselta. "You warned me they'd be trouble, but I didn't listen. If I had, none of this would've happened…"

"Even if we stayed off Yoshi's Island they would've butted in: some of 'em live on Dinosaur Island too, and besides, if it had just been the Yoshis, we would've been fine. It's just, Mario and Peach and Mario's brother happened to show up…"

"Yeah, and ruin _everything_!" spat Bowselta, her eyes swimming with tears once again.

"I guess, but we can still get them, we just-" but Bowser was cut short when Bowselta threw herself at him, burying her face in the side of his neck and sobbing.

"N- no we c-can't! It's impossible!" she wailed.

"What? No its not," said Bowser, wrapping his arms around Bowselta's shoulders and back.

"You didn't see it! You didn't see _them_!"

"Uh, yeah I did, I felt them too, they kept throwing Mecha-Koopas in my face and-"

"N- not M- Mario and Luigi, the KOOPALINGS, our ch- _children_! Ludwig and Larry half-bled to death, and W- Wendy was trapped underground in a p- pool of acid!" sobbed Bowselta, clutching Bowser tighter than ever.

"But they're okay now," begged Bowser, trying hard not to picture his kids bloody and broken. "It's okay."

"No it's not!" cried Bowselta. "It's not supposed to be this way! W- we made the castles 'safe', but it didn't matter, they were buried alive! And Ludwig was blasted away, and Wendy… It was _horrible_. As I dug I could only hope they were okay, but with each body I unearthed, I thought 'what if theirs'll be next, what if they're d- dead too!'"

"But, they're tough, you know that, Mario can't kill them-"

"But he killed you!" said Bowselta, leaning backwards so she could look Bowser in the face. "Four times, including today."

"Wait, who said I died today?" joked Bowser sheepishly.

"Don't try to trick me, I saw the Clown Car crunch into the ceiling and explode; Kammy saw the fireball, she said nothing could survive it-"

"But Kammy's a senile old bat, you can't take _her_ seriously-"

"You know that's not true," said Bowselta. "Besides, I can see it in your eyes – that haunted look…"

Bowser turned away as Bowselta reached up and stroked her husband's cheek. "Anyway, the castles' destructions did the most damage – at least I'm pretty sure they did, you know, kill the most people. There weren't _any_ survivors in Larry and Wendy's Castles besides them…"

"Ya see, they're tough," smiled Bowser hopefully, meeting Bowselta's gaze once more.

She smiled back, but it was a sad smile. "Still, I never want to go through that again."

"You won't, I promise," said Bowser.

"Thanks," said Bowselta, resting her forehead against Bowser's. The blood was sticky against Bowser's face, but he didn't mind as he stroked the back of Bowselta's head and neck; it even gave him an idea.

"That reminds me," he said. "You fixed me up, but I haven't returned the favour."

"Most of the blood's not mine, you know," said Bowselta, grinning slightly at the idea of what Bowser was _really_ after. "And as for the stuff that is… all those cuts healed ages ago."

"I dunno… That one doesn't look right to me…"

"Bowser…" warned Bowselta, but it was an idle threat, and she didn't protest as Bowser bowed his head and moved his tongue across the gash running from Bowselta's shoulder to the middle of her chest. She smiled and rested her head on Bowser's as he worked. His hair smelt like burnt engine oil, but Bowselta didn't care. Soon he had finished with the cut, and started moving up Bowselta's neck. She sighed contentedly and her lips met Bowser's, and the couple let their problems slip away for once, as their embrace became more than comforting.


	7. The Losers

**A/N****: I'd just like to point out now that I've taken some liberties with the events of **_**Super Mario 64**_**, I know the final battle with Bowser doesn't end the way I've written it, but the way Bowser accepted defeat in the game is just too unBowserish. It also wouldn't fit in with the story.**

Chapter 5: The Losers

Kamek Koopa hovered in the shadows, waiting with bated breath for the arrival of his prey. He looked down at the wand clutched in his right hand; the red jewel was coated in a thin layer of yellow film – a potion Kamek had concocted mere hours ago for the sole purpose of eliminating his greatest foe, Queen Bowselta Koopa. She had stripped Kamek of his power, and now he would show her the same, only being a bit more literal about it.

When Kammy called him using her crystal ball and told him about the fiasco over in Dinosaur Land, Kamek had been outraged. Another one of that foul Dragon-Koopa's plans had gone south, and now she was endangering the heirs to the throne. Morton's blood ran in their veins and for that reason, and that reason alone, did Kamek wish for the Koopalings to continue on; even if it meant Bowselta's genes would as well. But that wasn't _so_ bad, since the Koopa Queen herself would not fare so well.

Kamek had it all planned out. The idea had occurred to him as he sped south to watch Dark Land in Kammy, Bowser and Bowselta's absence. The irony was not lost on Kamek; he fully appreciated that the very thing he had been angry about was now bringing him such joy. He had been thinking up ways to dispose of Bowselta for years, but each method would be traceable back to him, especially since everyone knew how much he hated the Koopa Queen. Even when he came up with an surefire way to kill her, what was the point of removing her from the picture if he was behind bars and unable to fill the void and rise to his rightful place as Bowser's right-hand Koopa.

But today, Bowselta had been digging through ruined castles filled with toxic chemicals. She had spilt her blood on the wreckage caused by Mario and Luigi Mario, the fated destroyers of the Koopa Kingdom, or should Kamek say, _Queen_dom. For when Bowselta returned to Koopa Castle, Kamek would curse her from the shadows, and blame her lingering and painful death on the humans.

Kamek relished in the fact that the Koopa Queen's greatest failure would lead to his greatest success. It seemed only fitting to him that her mistake – which endangered the lives of King Morton's grandchildren – would ultimately bring about her own death, and thus, better lives for said grandchildren, since she would no longer besmirch their minds, and quash their potentials to be more like Morton himself.

Finally Kamek heard the _KoopaCord_ approaching. He pulled a potion from his cloak and threw it to the ground, smashing the vial open and releasing its contents into the air. The resulting cloud surrounded Kamek and dissipated, leaving the Magikoopa invisible and undetectable by any means. He watched in silence as the plane landed in the Hanger Bay before him, and as Bowselta and Bowser Koopa staggered out.

They weren't as bad off as Kamek had expected, and marched across the bay, waving off Kammy's offerings to heal their wounds right off the bat. Indeed, apart from the scrapes, burns, blood stains, bruises and blisters, the Dragon-Koopas seemed perfectly healthy: no broken bones, no sprained muscles. They didn't even seem to be pained by their numerous minor injuries.

But Kamek didn't dwell on this long, and performed a complex wave of his wand in their general direction, murmuring the magic word, "_Enervo_" under his breath. The wand's jewel glowed and the yellow film dissolved into thin air. The spell had worked, and soon Bowselta Koopa would start to feel her energy draining away, taking her life with it.

_Enervo_ was an old spell, made particularly for Dragon-Koopas; it mimicked a naturally occurring condition that rarely presents itself in the otherwise impervious species. Both the curse and the condition drain the victim of all their magical energy, resulting in instant death; and it was impossible to tell one from the other. The only catch is the condition, while perfectly natural, still needs a trigger, usually in the form of great psychological and physical stress – something Bowselta had just been through, meaning the development of the affliction would be perfectly understandable to the Medikoopas performing the autopsy.

Kamek had discovered the spell long ago, after years of painstaking research through centuries old scripture. Then after finding the spell, it took him even longer to master the intricate wandwork necessary to cast it. And even then, there was still work to be done. The fatal flaw with _Enervo_ was that is wasn't precise in the slightest, and upon being cast, radiates in all directions, affecting all Dragon-Koopas for miles. While this was quite useful in the old ages where Dragon-slaying was all the rage and most spell casters were out to kill the creatures en-masse, it was quite a hindrance for Kamek, who only wanted one Dragon-Koopa dead.

The answer came when Kamek stumbled upon a potion that, once blended with the DNA of one or more beings and then slathered onto a wand, would ensure the scepter's next spell would only affect those beings. That was what the yellow film had been (Kamek had gotten Bowselta's DNA from a shed scale he found on her throne during his last visit).

After he had laid out his spell and potion combination, all Kamek had to do was wait for the right opportunity, and it had finally come that night. He watched smugly as Bowselta, Bowser and Kammy left the Hanger, oblivious that one of their number was soon going to die. He then stashed away his wand and flew out the Hanger doors before the ground crew had time to close them, sailing off into the night and cackling on the wind: "The wicked witch is dead!"

-xxxxx-

But Kamek was wrong: Bowselta was very much alive. And she stayed that way all through the next day, and the next. Bowser had noticed that she seemed a bit zoned out most of the time, as if she had something important on her mind, but he figured she was still recovering from the Dinosaur Land debacle. After all, she had refused to try and take back the archipelago, saying it was more trouble than it was worth. Although she was quite miffed that even after rescuing Peach, Mario was still running about the land, thrashing whatever troops he missed on the first pass. As a result, Kammy suggested they just retreat their soldiers and minimize the additional casualties, and seeing the disheartened state of his family, Bowser went against his usual nature and agreed to her suggestion.

Unfortunately, all this did was make Mario's job easier, and he soon started unearthing the Warp Stars dotting the land, making his way to the Star World above, and rumor had it, the Special World beyond that. If Bowser ever wanted to get Dinosaur Land back, this would not serve him well, since the Star Spirits only let a select few into their realm; and only the best of the best were allowed to the Special World. Evidently, they now held Mario and Luigi in very high regards, and this angered Bowser.

He felt the plumbers were not deserving of that honor, especially if it was only coming to them because of what they had done to the Koopas in Dinosaur Land. Thousands of soldiers, workers and innocent bystanders had been killed as Mario made his way through the country, millions of coins were lost in property damage, and relations with the Boos was once again strained, as they too suffered at Mario's hands. Also, morale back in Dark Land dropped because of their Kingdom's failure, and dissent with the Royal Family reached an all-time high.

However, it was a few days before Bowser became aware of a problem that overshadowed everything else.

"Bowser, we need to talk."

"Huh? Oh, sure," shrugged the Koopa King, letting Bowselta lead him out of the Throne Room. They walked in silence down the hallway and as they started up the stairs, Bowser tried to start a conversation. "So… what do ya want to talk to me about?"

"You'll see," said Bowselta, sounding rather downcast.

Bowser fell silent once more, wondering what bad news was in store for him. The Koopalings were fine as far as he knew; true, they did seem rather subdued, but they'd get over it in no time. Or would they? Or maybe it wasn't even about them?

Bowselta exited the landing and walked down another corridor, Bowser following a half-step behind. As they entered the Medical Wing, Bowser's mind jumped into overdrive. What if someone was sick? One of the kids, or maybe Bowselta? Or what if it was _him_? His latest round of blood work _was_ due back around now… But that didn't make sense, Dragon-Koopas didn't get sick. Maybe there was a plague starting up! But he would've already known by now – it'd be all over the news, not that Bowser actually read the news…

Bowselta opened a nearby door and Bowser followed her into the diagnostics room. Kammy was already there, perched on the edge of the examination table. Bowser paled, he hadn't even considered that Kammy was the one who was sick. Sure she was old, but Magikoopas lived for centuries, and Kammy was what, 80, 90? Bowser got Kamek to tell him his age years ago, and it was still well under 100, and Kamek was still active and fully functional. Or at least he was when Bowser last saw him, and that was a couple years ago (although Kamek did fill-in during the Dinosaur Land thing, he left as soon as Kammy returned to Dark Land with the Koopalings and Bowser didn't see him). But Kammy was still active too, though she didn't look young anymore, what with the white hair and all. Of course, she _could_ be sick, since Magikoopas didn't have the magical defenses Dragon-Koopas had, but they had other kinds of magic that _should_ protect them…

"Alright, so what's up?" asked Bowser nervously.

"Right, well…" Kammy trailed off, looking over at Bowselta.

"I'm pregnant," she murmured.

"Wait… What! But, that's great news! Or at least, it's not… bad… news," said Bowser, losing his enthusiasm as he caught sight of Bowselta's somber face. Then he realized something wasn't right about the situation. The only time it could have happened recently was on the island, and that was two days ago. If Bowselta was pregnant she should be screaming for Ground Guts and Roasted Tweeters, chewing Bowser out for not being fast enough with her food, or sleeping. But no, all she was doing was staring at Bowser sadly. "What's wrong?"

"We're not sure," said Kammy. "The tests indicate something's messing with the transfer of energy from Bowselta's body to the embryo."

"Tests?"

"Yeah, I had them done immediately after I realized the pregnancy wasn't behaving right," said Bowselta. "I didn't tell you right off the bat in case it was just a normal miscarriage, it happens all the time in virtually every species and wouldn't be worth worrying you about…"

"But this isn't a normal miscarriage," stated Bowser. "And the embryo's-"

"Still alive, yeah," interjected Bowselta. "But its early development will take months…"

"But it will be born?" asked Bowser. Kammy and Bowselta nodded. "That's good… But, I still don't get it."

"It's a long story," sighed Kammy. "First of all, Dragon-Koopas need magical energy to survive – you know that. But what you may _not_ know is that when Koopas are first conceived, we can't make your own energy: it has to be supplied by the mother for the first few hours. Then, once the embryo is strong enough to make its own energy, the connection between it and the mother is severed and the rest of the gestation is devoted to the creation of the egg around the embryo."

"The problem here is my energy isn't going into the embryo – it's sorta being lost in the transfer and dissipating," explained Bowselta.

"So the kid's not getting any energy, so it will never get to the point of making its own energy?" gasped Bowser, horrified. "So what? Is it gonna be born without energy?"

"No, the scans seem to indicate that the embryonic cells themselves have slowed in their growth," explained Kammy. "We think that the absence of the right energy levels is acting on them like a chemical signal, telling the cells to stop dividing for now and instead going into the G-0 phase of Mitosis, like brain cells and such."

Bowser blinked. "Huh? Mitosis? G-zero?"

"It's Grade 9 Biology, Bowser," sighed Bowselta.

"Right… But… Wait!" stammered Bowser, figuring out the basic gist of what Kammy had been saying. "Does that mean the kid won't develop at all? So you'll be pregnant, _forever_!"

"No," said Bowselta, shaking her head. "We're fairly certain that once the energy in the cells reach a certain level, the cells will divide again, and then stop again until the energy reaches the next level, and so on and so on. "

"Actually, we're pretty sure the energy acts as the growth trigger in normal pregnancies too, but the energy transfer is so rapid, the cell division cycles can happen constantly. It's fascinating!" chirped Kammy.

"_Fascinating_!" exclaimed Bowser, appalled the Magikoopa could say such a thing. "It's _horrible_!"

"Not really," said Bowselta. "It's troubling to say the least, especially since we have no idea why it's happening, but it's not the end of the world. Once the embryo gets to the point of not needing my energy, the rest of the pregnancy will go normally, as will the baby's development. But as I said, it will take months, and it effectively puts me outta action for a while."

"'Out of action'? What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Bowser.

"Well, during the time us females are sharing our energy with the embryos, we can't use it any other way. So no firebreath, no going into my shell, no spell-casting, no pulling things out of thin air…"

"What? But why didn't I notice that any of the other times?"

"Because this loss of power only lasts for a few hours after conception, and we usually sleep through it all. Then by the time morning comes around, my body's shifted to egg-making, and the _psychological_ handicaps set in," joked Bowselta.

Again, Bowser paled. "Wait, does this mean that horrible week of screaming and anger is going to last months too?"

"Weren't you listening?" said Bowselta, rolling her eyes. "We _told_ you that once the embryo separates from me the rest of the pregnancy will go _normally_, so just the usual week of hell."

"Oh," muttered Bowser, slightly embarrassed. Then another thought occurred to him. "But… If you can't use your powers, you'll be a sitting duck for who knows how long. What if someone tried to assassinate you, or poison you, or-"

"Don't worry! Your Paranoidness!" interrupted Kammy. "She'll still have the energy inside her, so she'll still be impervious to disease and poison and such. She just can't fight or assassinate anyone herself."

"Oh, well that's okay, I guess…" said Bowser.

"Speak for yourself," snapped Bowselta. "_I_ still don't like not being able to fight. And not knowing why bugs me even more."

"So you guys _really_ don't have _any_ idea what's responsible?" asked Bowser.

"We figure it's related to the stuff that happened in Dinosaur Land," said Kammy. "There was some nasty stuff in the debris thanks to the Mario bros.' lingering energies. Human magic has a weird effect on our kind."

"Tell me about it," huffed Bowser.

"Hopefully they'll be something in the library we can use, or the permanent records. Something like this must have happened before, I mean, we probably won't find anything on _Dragon-Koopa_ pregnancy issues since we're so rare, but any other species of Koopa should be good enough…" said Bowselta.

"You haven't even checked the library?" said Bowser incredulously. "But you're always looking up these sorta problems in the library!"

"Sorry, I was too busy running around the hospital wing making sure we weren't gonna die," huffed Bowselta. "We being me and _our_ baby."

"It's not technically a baby yet," said Bowser, cheekily.

"It depends on who's talking," piped in Kammy. "Many people believe a blob of cells is a person; others say that until it's producing its own energy it's not; and in species where that doesn't happen, the presence of blood is often cited as the true beginning of life. Still others say that souls are brain waves, so there's no soul without a brain-"

"Okay okay! Spare us the philosophical discussion, Haggy!" ordered Bowser, cringing at Kammy's words. "I didn't say anything about whether the thing was _truly alive_ yet, I was just saying it's not actually a _baby_, just an embryo."

"Trying to catch me in a lie, huh?" growled Bowselta, grinning wryly. Bowser smiled and nodded. "Well, for your information, I was just using the word 'baby' to prove a point."

"Which is?"

Bowselta paused. "Uh… I forget."

And then, as the two Dragon-Koopas and Kammy descended into a fit of laughter, seven figures tiptoed away from the door, leaving their parents and godmother blissfully unaware that their whole discussion had been overheard by the troop of eavesdropping Koopalings.

-xxxxx-

Bowser, Bowselta and Kammy spent the better part of the next few weeks combing through the library and the permanent records. To their irritation, not one botched pregnancy on record remotely resembled Bowselta's condition. The closest thing to it that they found was a rare Dragon-Koopa disease that leaches all the power from the victim, and although the conditions under which the ailment arises seemed to match recent events, no examples of it affecting _pregnant_ individuals had been documented. Of course, since nobody really bothered taking an in-depth look at the notoriously uncommon Dragon-Koopas, this didn't surprise Bowselta.

Still, having _something_ to help explain the situation would make things a lot easier. Kammy and the Magikoopas were even having problems figuring out how long it would take the embryo to develop, since it appeared to have started developing normally and then slowed down about an hour after implantation (when the connection between the embryo and Bowselta's body took place). It puzzled everyone, and Kammy even called Kamek on the crystal ball to see if he had any ideas on the matter.

He told her he had no clue as to why the embryo did what it did, nor had he ever heard of such a situation arising anyway. He was only half-lying. He _did_ know what went wrong with Bowselta's pregnancy: his curse, although he thought of the situation the other way around. Although _Enervo_ was keyed to Bowselta's DNA, due to the fact that her energy levels were fluctuating and being diverted into the embryo, the spell failed to properly interrupt the energy, only managing to create a _non_-life threatening condition.

Kamek was furious that sheer dumb luck foiled him; that something as crude and primitive as sex could ruin his carefully laid and immeasurably brilliant plan. Years of plotting, research, painstaking practice and patience wasted, just because two battered up Dragon-Koopas couldn't wait until they got home to get busy. Kamek figured that after Bowser came so close to death yet again, Bowselta decided to (literally) jump on the opportunity to ensure their vow to have eight kids was fulfilled, lest Bowser got himself killed for good during his next brawl with Mario.

Still, everyone expected it to be a while before the Koopa King and the plumber squared-off once more. For one thing, Bowselta wanted to be a part of their next battle, so she could personally extract revenge for the loss of Dinosaur Land. Therefore, she'd have to wait a few months to get over her pregnancy, another half-year for the egg to hatch and another couple years to properly raise the kid before she'd allow herself to jump into the path of a killer like Mario.

Needless to say, it came as a shock to most of Koopa Castle when Bowser suddenly announced his plans to invade the faraway kingdom of Jewelry Land.

Most of the Koopa Kingdom pegged it as an attempt for Bowser to win back their respect, but in reality it was Bowselta he was aiming to please. As new books and encyclopedia articles concerning Dragon-Koopa, Dragon or Koopa biology grew scarce, and every scrap of information concerning pregnancy mishaps scoured by Bowser, Bowselta and Kammy for relevant information, the King of the Koopas had a hunch. Acting on it, Bowser decided to move beyond the science of pregnancy, and instead, focused on the act that leads to it. Soon, he managed to track down information regarding his own species, and learned an interesting fact: when Dragon-Koopas mate, their energy mingles, purging each other's systems of impurities and a variety of other medical conditions.

This piqued Bowser's interests. If that was the case, then Bowselta's energy levels should have been put right by their encounter on the island, meaning whatever was messing with her arose after they left Dinosaur Land's perils. Hope and curiosity welled up inside Bowser, and he read further into the article. But what he read next changed everything:

_There are some exceptions, most notable being the unnamed and rarely  
documented condition in which the affected individuals are condemned to  
death by the slow draining of their power brought on by sudden stressful  
and physically arduous experiences. If an individual affected by the  
condition mates (a common occurrence, as Dragon-Koopa mating is both  
mentally and physically soothing [see above]), the condition will not be  
rectified by the energy-mingling, but transferred to the second party.  
Additionally, evidence has been given suggesting that if a male passed on  
the condition to his mate and she was impregnated by the encounter,  
complications would arise in the pregnancy itself. The most likely outcome  
would be the deaths of both mother and child, due to the precise  
nature of the transfer of maternal energy to the embryonic cells during  
early pregnancy._

Bowser was mortified. Sure the article was wrong about the mother and child dying, but the rest of it seemed viable. He first showed the article to Kammy, and she agreed that the book had it right about the energy mingling and therefore, about the transfer of the condition as well. Bowser couldn't believe it was his fault Bowselta had become sick. It made _him_ sick. She took it well when he told her, even going so far as to say it was a good thing that he transferred the condition to her, since he would have died otherwise.

This still didn't cheer Bowser up; he just couldn't forgive himself. Even the Koopalings seemed a bit more distant from their father, though Bowser had no idea how they found out about the origins of the condition (presumably the same way they mysteriously found out about Bowselta's pregnancy before everyone else did). The King of the Koopas figured the only way he could make it all up to Bowselta would be to actually accomplish something.

At first he wondered if he could try taking more mountains from Sarasaland, but that plan reeked of "been there, done that". He would've liked to do a full-scale invasion, but the Koopa Troop wasn't large enough to tackle the country, especially after the casualties suffered in Dinosaur Land. Bowser did have enough troops to take a smaller kingdom, but if he attacked the Mushroom Kingdom or Dinosaur Land, Mario and Luigi were sure to stop him, and another loss at their hands was the last thing Bowser needed. Besides, Bowselta didn't want Dinosaur Land back anyway.

Bowser continued to wrack his brains for a good target. The Beanbean Kingdom was too close to the Mushroom Kingdom, and since it was so small it was more than likely that Princess Peach would feel the need to send her plumbing protectors over to help if they were attacked. Like Sarasaland, the Waffle Kingdom was just too large for the Koopa Troop at that point in time, and while the Alligator Archipelago was littered with puny little island nations, it was already lorded over by the gluttonous King K. Rool and his band of pirates.

Also, Mario and Luigi had spent a lot of time in Big Ape City on DK Island, and would probably not take kindly to Bowser waltzing in and taking it as his own. However, this rationale threw the Dinosaur Land plan's fatal flaw into sharp relief, as Mario and Luigi had a past history in that country too. Bowser figured that the stuff between them and the Yoshis had faded over the years, and Bowselta had assumed the same, and _that_ was their problem. In fact, now that Bowser thought about it, he realized that that incident was the _third_ time Mario and Luigi rode the rescue of their old buddies from lands afar. First they had returned to the Mushroom Kingdom from Brooklyn when Bowser invaded the first time; and then they and Peach had returned in the nick of time to save the land the second time around. First they warped in from halfway across the planet; then they popped back out of a mysterious parallel dimension; and _then_ they just happened to go on a vacation the same weekend Bowser decided to return to Yoshi's Island himself.

It was an uncanny pattern they had going, so Bowser's next target had to be somewhere they had never been. Somewhere far enough away so Peach wouldn't meddle, but not so far as to make moving the troops a difficult task. Fortunately, Jewelry Land fit the criteria perfectly.

It was located on Sarasaland's western border and separated from the Mushroom Kingdom by a large inland sea, so it was unlucky that Princess Peach would hear about any invasion before Bowser's troops had the place secure. And that task would be especially easy in Jewelry Land, thanks to the twelve gems that gave the land its name and ensured its stability. Bowser, wanting nothing to go wrong with his redemptive attack on Jewelry Land, had done his research, and had discovered that if he could steal the gems, Jewelry Land would be split into two realms: the Light Realm and the Dark Realm. The chaos would make a counter-attack from the populace impossible. Although those measures probably weren't even necessary, considering the country was ruled by King _Fret_ and Prince _Pine_; neither of which (as their names would suggest) were very lion-hearted.

Bowser had it all planned out: it was foolproof. And, not only would he patch things up with Bowselta, but win back the Koopalings' affection as well, since he'd be bringing them along. Bowselta wasn't too thrilled about that last point, even though the kids wouldn't be housed in castles, but in custom-built contraptions – in this case, six different robots designed by Iggy and Ludwig. (Wendy refused to ride in a 'big, old, ugly, metal clap-trap', and instead decided to protect herself with a special shield.) The robots were made so the Koopalings could use them to fight instead of using their own, underdeveloped abilities (as Mario and Luigi had proven twice already, the young Dragon-Koopas were still no match for strong opponents). The robots were also designed to protect the Koopalings, and instead of exploding, they would simply fall apart if they were defeated, letting their riders scamper away unscathed. And, as an added precaution, Bowser decided to take Kamek along on the excursion to provide emergency first aid in the off-chance the Koopalings actually did get hurt.

Bowselta still had her misgivings. For one thing, she hated Kamek and would have preferred Kammy to go instead – an impossible request as the old Magikoopa refused to leave the Koopa Queen in her unusual energy condition. Bowselta also felt that Bowser was preparing the Koopalings for battle much to thoroughly, as if they were definitely going to go up against Mario, though Bowser pointed out that he was just being prepared. Begrudgingly, Bowselta backed down, recognizing that Bowser wouldn't be happy unless she let him go to Jewelry Land. Besides, his plan was pretty good – as good as one of hers (though she was somewhat loathed to admit it), and Bowselta felt that perhaps this time, the infallible plan would live up to its name.

-xxx-

Unfortunately, there was one thing Bowser overlooked. Although he checked to make sure Mario and Luigi had no connections to Jewelry Land, he neglected to check _Peach_'s contacts. As it turned out, she and Prince Pine were old friends, as were their fathers, and even though the two countries didn't share any borders, the Mushroom Kingdom got wind of Jewelry Land's distress before anywhere else knew something was wrong. Peach immediately sent Mario to help, and while his twin didn't come along, Yoshi did (serving as Mario's steed throughout the whole ordeal). And as if the plumber wasn't formidable enough on his own, Peach provided him with a newly developed ray gun called the Super Scope to aid him on his quest.

Once again, Mario went from Koopaling to Koopaling, destroying their robots and then using the kids themselves as target practice before snatching up the magic gems they had been guarding. Lemmy was the first casualty, followed by Ludwig, Wendy, Larry, Morton, Iggy and finally Roy, who was holding King Fret captive in Float Castle I. Kamek did his job and picked up each fallen Koopaling, but it was a rush job and they were still quite beaten up by the time they rejoined Bowser in his castle (in the Dark Realm of Jewelry Land). Kamek said he spent as little time on the Koopalings as he could because Mario and Yoshi were breezing though the land so quickly; had he taken his time on one kid, he'd miss out on helping two more.

But Kamek soon found himself facing defeat just like the Koopalings, since King Fret immediately sent Mario from the Light Realm to the Dark, asking for the safe return of Prince Pine and the remaining five gems. In no time, Kamek had fallen, followed by King Boo (once again calling himself Big Boo, having lost much of his prestige when Mario defeated him in Dinosaur Land) and many more of Bowser's minions. Soon Bowser himself had fallen, even though he was protected by a large, Bullet Bill-firing robotic suit.

Having liberated Prince Pine and using the twelve gems to reunite the two halves of Jewelry Land, Mario and Yoshi started making preparations to return home. But Bowser wasn't ready to pack it all in. He had put too much time and effort into his latest invasion attempt, and he wasn't about to just go back home to Bowselta empty-handed. He needed to win – he needed to make her happy, and all he would accomplish by returning now would be to make her angry that he had let Mario walk all over him yet again.

The Koopalings shared Bowser's distaste at returning home as a pack of losers (although they didn't care about losing face like Bowser, they were too proud to let Mario walk without extracting some revenge for how he treated them). So Ludwig and Iggy quickly rebuilt the robots while the rest of the kids helped Bowser and Kamek organize the troops. Then, when all was ready, they attacked. Like with Bowser's first attempt to take the Mushroom Kingdom, the second strike on Jewelry Land was much more powerful. But despite everything the Koopas did, Mario and Yoshi still fought their way through the land.

The Koopalings fell once more; Mario took their gems, and King Fret was liberated. Then like before, Kamek, Big Boo and Bowser lost over in the Dark Realm, and Mario saved the day for Prince Pine and Jewelry Land's citizens. This time, Bowser did accept defeat, and led his disgruntled troops home.

However, while Bowselta was disappointed at Bowser's loss, her overall reaction was that of anger.

"How could you?" she snarled the moment Bowser set foot in the otherwise empty Throne Room.

"I'm sorry! But Mario had a gun, and that stupid Yoshi, if it wasn't for those I would've won but-"

"I'm not talking about _that_!" snapped Bowselta. "I know there was no way for you to have been ready for Mario's first attack. But _why_, having seen what he had at his disposal, did you go up against Mario the _second_ time? It was idiotic!"

"Well, I figured that once I knew what I was up, I'd be able to fight Mario. It's worked before…"

Bowselta snorted. "You mean our first attempt to invade the Mushroom Kingdom? The only difference for the second round was that it took Mario a bit longer and he had a couple more close calls. So in reality, it _didn't_ work."

"Yeah, but-"

"And," continued Bowselta furiously ignoring Bowser. "We were using mostly _fresh_ soldiers for the second attack. You had no new people, just your old, tired troops and your busted old robots. Which, by the way, is what I'm most angry about."

"Hey, the robots worked fine, I mean, sure they got wrecked, but they protected the Koopalings. They'd be fine if Mario hadn't decided to shoot them straight up!"

"Yes, yes. I know that Mario's a creep!" yelled Bowselta. "You misunderstood me: I was talking about how you got thrashed, _and went back for more_! You threw yourself back in harm's way, and worst of all, you took our kids with you!"

"I know! I know!" cowered Bowser, before muttering quietly. "I just didn't want to disappoint you."

"I have never been, nor will I ever be disappointed in _you_ for losing to Mario. But what you've done this time, that's another matter," said Bowselta. Her voice was icy and suddenly devoid of anger as she continued. "Clearly you have a problem about rational thinking in moments of crisis. First you kidnap Peach in Dinosaur Land, now you go marching our family into fights they can't win."

"That's not true, we could've… I mean, we knew what… and Mario would've been worn out too…" said Bowser, almost pleading with his wife to understand what was going through his mind, why he did what he did. "I didn't mean… I just… I just wanted to make you forgive me…"

Bowselta said nothing, but continued looking down on Bowser, her face riddled with sorrow.

"Please," he finished, his voice cracking.

Bowselta closed her eyes and shook her head. Bowser's heart felt like it fell right out of his body. He opened his mouth to speak, but Bowselta beat him too it. "Oh Bowser, you just don't get it! You don't need to do all of this to win back my respect because you never lost it. I don't blame you for what's happening to me, and I don't blame you for losing to Mario, not once."

Bowser's face brightened, but when Bowselta looked back and met his eyes, his happiness drained away. "But I do blame you for endangering our children. And I can't let that happen again. From now on, they won't be part of _any_ invasions. I don't care if they're upset about it – it's for their own good."

Bowselta stood up and started walking away towards the door to the right of the thrones. Bowser watched her go; he wanted to follow, but something inside him told him to let her go for now.

She reached the door and paused, looking back at Bowser. "I'm sorry. I know you'll keep blaming yourself for everything, but I can't say anything that will put your mind at rest. Only you can do that this time."

Bowselta opened the door and walked through without another word, leaving Bowser to stare emptily at the place she disappeared.

-xxxxx-

Upon being told they weren't allowed to fight Mario anymore, the Koopalings (as Bowselta had predicted) reacted quite poorly, taking their frustration and rage out on the castle and its inhabitants. Faced with the chaos caused by their kids, Bowser and Bowselta felt it was best to pretend like their big argument had never happened, and focused on calming the Koopalings down instead. Fortunately the kids' rage only lasted about a week; while they still acted a tad sullen, they swiftly went back to creating their normal levels of castle-wide destruction (which still involved quite a lot of damage).

Of course, this meant Bowser and Bowselta no longer had to work together, and they swiftly went their separate ways in the castle. Bowselta started pouring over old history books, looking for a reference in the old treaties about gun restrictions. When humans first arrived in the Mushroom World from a faraway dimension, they used their devastating weapons to reign supreme over the land, slaughtering even more people than Mario had throughout his recent escapades against the Koopa Kingdom. It was mostly Dark Landers who fell, since it was the only region that unanimously rejected the humans. Many species would have been wiped from history if it hadn't been for a single Dragon-Koopa – one who had discovered a power as devastating as the human's.

She made an ultimatum to the invaders: they'd destroy their Black Magic weaponry (primarily their shotguns, which claimed the most lives), and the Dragon-Koopa wouldn't destroy them. The treaty had stood for seven generations, and Bowselta wondered if the Super Scope could count as a breach of contract on the humans' part. Unfortunately, unlike the shotguns of old, the Super Scope was a ray gun, and used magic indigenous to the Mushroom World to function. And while it was a dangerous weapon, it wasn't instantly fatal to its victims like the human's original, alien weapons.

Despite this fact, Bowselta still found the Old Treaties and the events surrounding them fascinating, and spent the next couple months holed up in the library learning everything she could about the human invasion and the Dragon-Koopa who stopped the bloodshed.

Bowser, on the other hand, couldn't care less about ancient history, and spent his time trying to come up with a surefire way of defeating Mario; it was the only thing that mattered to him. It meant more than his children and more than his wife for Bowser to eliminate the accursed plumber, since once Mario was dead and gone, Bowser could forgive himself for all his failures. Until then, Bowser's conscience weighed on his spirit, and Bowselta's words cut his soul like a knife. He had to slay his demons in order to be the husband and father Bowselta and the Koopalings deserved, but as the queen said, it was something Bowser had to do on his own.

And in order for Bowser to slay his demons, he needed to slay Mario. His final victory would not only redeem Bowser in his own eyes, but most assuredly in the eyes of the rest of the Koopa Kingdom too. They would recognize him as a great king once again, the Koopalings would never have to fear for their safety again, and best of all, Bowselta would forgive Bowser for all his past discrepancies. (No matter what she said now, Bowser refused to believe she held him unaccountable for his losses to date.)

Eventually Bowser came up with another plan. A while ago, Bowselta had done some research on Princess Peach's castle and discovered that it was powered by 120 Power Stars. She theorized that if the Koopas stole the Stars they would effectively be in control of the castle. Bowser took this idea and decided to use it to not only capture Mushroom Castle, but to take Peach hostage and thereby lure Mario to the citadel where he would be defeated by Bowser's troops. True, last time Bowser tried to trap Mario he had failed, but he had been using a small portion of his army for the final confrontation in Dark Land. This time, he would simply fly to the castle and use as many troops as he could bring to take the building and secure it.

And as an added precaution, Bowser decided to hide the Power Stars with various minions in pocket dimensions created by magic (each world based on one of the many paintings in Peach's castle, which would serve as the gateways to them). The reason for this was to split up the Power Stars and thus, split up their power, since it was said they would be able to aid Mario in his quest to reclaim them – they _were_ Stars, after all.

Once Bowser had it all planned out (with a substantial amount of help from Kammy) he pitched his idea to Bowselta, and was met with the usual reaction.

"I dunno…" she said, looking down at the written plans and castle blueprints Bowser had presented her with.

"_Please_, I _know_ this one will work! Kammy helped me with all the stuff to do with magic and I even used _your_ research on Peach's Castle. I triple checked everything and I thought of every possible way Mario could screw this up for me and prepared for it!" explained Bowser, his voice a mix of excitement over his wonderful plan, and apprehension over Bowselta's reaction to it.

"You sure?"

"Positive! There's no way Mario can get through our _entire_ army while it's concentrated under _one_ roof! Even if his brother and Yoshi tag along, and even if they use _crates_ of Super Scopes, Fire Flowers and Super Capes, and Raccoon, Suits and Frog Suits, and Invincibility Stars and One-Up Mushrooms and Super Mushrooms and Poison Mushrooms, and whatever else they find, they can't win this time!"

"Do you really believe that? Or is it just wishful thinking?" said Bowselta critically.

"I _really_ think we'll win this time," insisted Bowser.

Bowselta sighed. "Well, so do I. The plan's solid and as you said, there's no holes or miscalculations or discrepancies or anything else wrong that I can see."

"You see? It's foolproof. Scratch that, it's _plumber_ proof! As soon as we've got all the preparations done, just give me a couple days and Mario will be history!"

"Now wait a minute. I didn't say we'll be enacting the plan any time soon," said Bowselta.

"What?" stammered Bowser, crestfallen. "But… Why?"

"I'm not letting you rush out into action and botch it all up just because you're desperate to impress me," said the Queen of the Koopas, setting down the plans and crossing her arms defiantly.

"What?" said Bowser, feigning ignorance. "What are you talking about? What makes you think that I-"

"Come on Bowser, do you honestly think you can fool me with that old act? We've been married what, nine and a half years? I know you Bowser, and I know you're still feeling guilty about all that's happened recently." Bowselta paused and looked at Bowser, who avoided her eyes. She frowned slightly and continued. "Remember what I said before? _I don't blame you_. So don't sweat it. Kammy says I'm almost through with this stupid prolonged pregnancy; if her calculations are right, the egg'll be laid by the end of the month. Everything will be normal again soon. Then, once that kid's old enough, you and I will go and thrash Mario together."

"Yeah, but that'll be what, in _another_ nine and a half years?" huffed Bowser.

"No, more like four, but I see patience is a virtue you still haven't acquired yet," joked Bowselta.

"I have my own reasons for wanting to be rid of Mario as soon as possible. I do remember what you told me during that argument: you said _I_ had to forgive _myself_ and I had to do that _alone_. I've been kicked around by Mario for too long, and I need to be the one to finish him and make him pay for all he's done to me, to the Koopalings and to the kingdom."

"I've suffered at his hands too," growled Bowselta. "_I_ was the one who had to clean up after him. I was there, wading through the dead bodies; I was there, digging our injured children out of ruined castles and crashed Air Ships. Bowser, I was the one fishing your bones out of the lava and putting them back together, I was the one searching the ocean wondering if I'd ever see you again."

"Yeah, and for that, you're sick," said Bowser. "This whole pregnancy ordeal is as much Mario's fault as it is mine."

"Bowser-"

"Don't say it, Bowselta," interrupted Bowser. "I _know_ you don't blame me for it, but I do. And the guilt won't go away until Mario's dead; it's the only way I feel I can make it up to you."

Bowselta looked Bowser in the eyes, her face once again riddled by sadness. But this time, she nodded in acceptance. "I understand. You're right, you have to do this on your own."

"Thanks," smiled Bowser, leaning forward and giving Bowselta a quick peck on the cheek, picking up the plans as he did so. "I'm gonna go start making preparations, if that's alright with you. Who knows, if all goes well, I may have Mario beat before you lay that egg."

"Just don't rush things," warned Bowselta as Bowser strode out of the Entrance Hall. She sighed. The plan was good, but Bowselta had seen plans just as good fall to pieces thanks to Mario. And this time, while she did share Bowser's confidence in success, she couldn't help but fell a bit nervous too. And that nagging little sense of foreboding was sure to haunt her until Mario was dead and gone.

-xxx-

Just over a week later the Koopa Troop was primed and ready for the attack. They were loaded into yet another fleet of assorted aircraft, including Bowser's old_ Koopa Cruiser_, a couple newly made and redesigned Air Ships, and Bowselta's _7-Koopa-7_ and _KoopaCord_ (the _Mark __II_ was staying with Bowselta in case she wanted to fly over herself). The Koopalings, Bowselta and Kammy were all present in the Throne Room to see Bowser off (Kamek was also part of the invasion, but chose to forgo the tearful good-byes).

"Well, see you all soon," said Bowser, not fond of farewells himself.

"See ya King Dad," piped up Lemmy.

"Yeah, later!" added Iggy.

"Show dat Mario who's boss!" encouraged Roy.

"Yes, make him sorry he ever messed vit zee Koopa Kingdom," grinned Ludwig.

"And don't forget to bring be back something nice, Daddy!" insisted Wendy.

"He's not going on holiday, Wendy," scoffed Morton. "He's going to fight a war! It's gonna be dangerous and bloody! Unless you want Mario's mangled body as a present then you can't go asking for little trinkets! Not that I'm saying you're gonna do something so macabre, King Dad, but I'm just saying, you're gonna be a little busy, right? 'Cause you are gonna be very busy! I mean, invading's hard work, and-"

"Morton! Shut up!" chorused the Koopalings.

"But my thoughts are just as important as all of-"

"Yes, but _vee_ do not bore uzzers to sleep vit _our_ soughts. Besides, Larry hasn't had a chance to speak yet," said Ludwig, giving the soon-to-be-second-youngest Koopaling a small prod in the back.

"Oh right, yeah, go get 'em," murmured Larry shyly.

"Heh heh, will do! And that goes for all the rest of you guys," said Bowser, smiling.

"Hah, _see_, I told you he'd get me a souvenir!" boasted Wendy.

"We'll see, sweetie, but first, I need to get Mario!"

The Koopalings cheered their encouragement once again. Their anger about being left out of all future invasions having evaporated in the excitement of the imminent attack.

Bowser grinned. "All right, all right. Thanks for the encouragement, but I need to have a word with your mother."

"Aww," groaned the Koopalings.

"Does that mean we have ta leave?" whined Lemmy.

"No, no, just be quiet enough so we can hear ourselves think, okay?" said Bowselta.

"Yeah, okay."

"Sure, fine."

"If we _have_ too."

Their parents smiled and Bowser turned back to Bowselta. "So, next time you see me, Mario will be dead, and I'll be the conquering hero!"

"Yes, yes. But please be careful. If I've learned anything from dealing with that awful plumber its that no plan's perfect."

"Humf, and here I thought _Kamek_ was our appointed killjoy," joked Bowser.

"You better watch that tongue of yours! Next time you compare me to Kamek I just might cut it off" warned Bowselta playfully.

Kammy chuckled beside her. "I'm sure Kamek would feel the same way. But yes, Your Confidentness, do watch yourself."

"Jeez, what a bunch of worry-warts. Why can't you be more like them?" scoffed Bowser, waving his hand at the Koopalings who obediently broke into a fresh wave of cheering.

_Because we're not a pack of innocent little kids_, thought Bowselta, still worried that Bowser was a bit too confident in his plan. But she didn't dare voice her concern in front of her kids, and just smiled at their antics; joining them in waving goodbye to Bowser with a strange sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

-xxx-

But for once, Bowser's plan worked. He and the troops took the castle by storm, seized all the Power Stars and hid them away in the painting-worlds while Bowser sealed Peach herself away so her magic couldn't stop his. Mario arrived that same day, having been invited by Peach for cake and made his way into the castle. But while he did start obtaining Power Stars and thrashing Bowser's minions, it took nearly a week for him to get far enough to cause the Koopas any level of great concern.

Bowser and Kamek used magic to track the plumber's progress and they set up an array of telecommunications equipment so they could keep in contact with Bowselta back in Dark Land. The Koopa Queen practically lived in the Throne Room all that time, sitting in front of the view screen all-day and even sleeping there at night. Of course, she didn't sleep as much as she needed too, and despite Kammy's badgering, she refused to move.

She ordered her food to be brought to her and wolfed the strange dishes down ravenously. She was at her wit's end and felt like crap; but whenever Bowser's face appeared on the screen, Bowselta always managed to hide her discomfort and disguise the growing bags under her eyes. She knew that if Bowser learned she was on to the last stage of pregnancy he'd get preoccupied and certainly screw up the plan and lose to Mario.

Bowselta couldn't allow that, not when they were so close to victory and toughed it out as best as she could. She managed to keep her temper under control as well as she kept herself awake, and while she still had crazy food cravings she allowed people other than her mate to bring her the meals. Kammy was beside herself with worry, both for Bowser and the looming task of defeating Mario in battle, and for Bowselta, who's energy condition had passed almost two weeks earlier than they expected.

Bowser's last communication came exactly eight days after he attacked Peach's Castle, and exactly seven days since Bowselta woke up with her first inexplicable craving for Ground Guts with a side of Sluggy Slime.

"Mario's just entered the last painting. Kamek's got his final spell ready. We're supposedly gonna be fighting up on some floating platform in the sky," reported Bowser.

"Do you think you're ready?" asked Bowselta concernedly.

"Of course! All I've gotta do is crush Mario or flame him or push him off the platform – no sweat," shrugged the Koopa King.

"Don't forget to watch your tail this time," cautioned Bowselta.

"Yeah, too bad it's not long like yours, then I could use those two tail spikes to stab Mario, it'd be just as dangerous behind me as it is in front!"

"You don't need a long tail to be dangerous back there," joked Bowselta. "Don't you remember what you're like after Chuckle Bean Chili?"

"True," grinned Bowser. "Maybe I should eat before going up against Mario! Too bad that stupid plumber's already gone through the kitchens…"

Bowser and Bowser both chuckled, suddenly the image on the screen flickered. "What was that?" asked Bowselta, once again serious.

"Uhhh," said Bowser, poking around at his surroundings, most of which was wiring. "I think it was just some of these stupid wires…"

Then Bowselta heard a voice off screen – it was Kamek's: "Bowser! Mario's approaching the warp point. We have to move now!"

"What? Already?" gasped Bowser, looking over his shoulder.

"We think the Power Stars he's collected are helping him," came Kamek's voice.

Bowselta's face paled, she had a feeling this would happen.

So did Bowser, because as he turned back to the screen he wasn't surprised, just sullen. "I have to go."

"Be careful," said Bowselta earnestly. "Remember, if you don't come back, I'll kill you."

"_Really_? Where've I heard _that_ before?" smirked Bowser. But his grin faded and his face became contorted as he wracked his brain for the answer. "Come to think of it, that's a good question. Where _have_ I heard that before?"

"Your Highness!" gasped Kamek, still off screen. He sounded exasperated.

"Okay, okay! Keep your shell on, I'm coming!" called Bowser, waving his hand dismissively towards where Bowselta assumed Kamek was standing. He turned back to Bowselta once more. "I've _really_ gotta go."

"Yeah, I know," growled Bowselta. "So, I guess this is goodbye for now?"

"Guess so, I'll see you later – once Mario's dead, that is!" grinned Bowser confidently.

"Okay… Well, good luck," said Bowselta.

"Who need's it?" scoffed Bowser, hanging up. Bowselta sighed; why was she so upset by all this? Even if Bowser lost, he's done it before. It's not the end of the world…

She swung around in her chair and started punching commands into the view screen's control panel, bringing up the live news feed that was broadcasted to all Koopa Troops members involved in the Mushroom Castle Attack. It listed the status of each painting-world, most of which had been completely scourged by Mario and were red-listed as 'no entry' areas. The feed also flashed up new developments, and reported that Bowser and Kamek were enacting the spell to send Bowser to the Sky World where he would face Mario.

But, the most interesting aspect of the feed was the video of Mario's every movement. Mario was being filmed by one of two Lakitu brothers who had betrayed the Koopa Kingdom and joined 'the winning side' as they once put it. Little did they know that their live video feed could be received by Bowser's telecommunication equipment (a neat little feature Bowselta took pride in designing). Kammy came in and she and Bowselta silently watched with bated breath as Mario entered the final stage with Bowser close behind.

Kammy smiled slightly. "Mario's not powered-up, this should be easy for His Robustness."

Bowselta grunted in accordance, but she didn't really share the old Magikoopa's confidence.

The plumber made the first move, leaping towards Bowser with reckless abandon. The Dragon-Koopa responded with a massive flare but Mario managed to dodge, and sprung right back up and around Bowser. He twisted around and prevented the plumber from reaching his target: the Koopa King's tail. Mario wasn't ready for that and skidded to a halt, turning to escape, but Bowser caught him up in a burst of fire.

"Yes!" muttered Bowselta, Bowser was learning from his mistakes.

Unfortunately Mario wasn't down and out, and leapt fist first into Bowser's gut, knocking the Dragon-Koopa off balance. As Bowser struggled to stand upright Mario flitted around to his backside and seized his tail, whipping him around and around before throwing him from the floating platform and right into a mine.

Bowselta swore. _Why_ did Kamek have to conjure up those stupid mines? They did Bowser no good.

Bowser was consumed by fire, but he pulled through. Landing hard on the centre of the platform and pulling himself to his feet. Mario rushed towards Bowser and jumped as Bowser tried to flame him, but the Koopa King was too quick for the plumber and sent another fireball up to meet him. Mario yelped and fell to the ground, rolling over to the edge of the platform. Bowser roared and charged at the fallen plumber, aiming to shove him off the stage. Mario saw him coming and somehow managed to heave himself out of the way at the last second, causing Bowser to slide right off the edge himself.

Bowselta groaned. "Idiot!"

"At least we taught him how to prepare for that," sighed Kammy, watching as Bowser magically soared back up from the depths, landing on the stage and sending shockwaves rippling across its surface.

Mario dodged the first wave but the second one hit him, dealing out a powerful electric shock. Bowser took the opportunity and charged once again, but Mario recovered in time to spring away. Bowser staggered to a halt, but before he could turn around Mario seized his tail and threw him into another mine.

Bowselta growled. _Why_, despite the odds, despite the planning, despite _everything_, did it seem impossible for Bowser to win against Mario?

Kammy seemed to sense Bowselta's frustration and turned from the screen, where Bowser was once again sent crashing into the stage by a massive explosion. "It's not over yet, Your Worriedness," she said. "Remember, he's dealt Mario a lot of damage too."

"I know," sighed Bowselta, watching as Bowser stomped his feet angrily and sent more shockwaves through the platform, dislodging huge pieces of the concrete. "He's doing better than he's ever done before. But… I don't think it's enough…"

She trailed off as Mario finished dodging the damaging waves of energy and sprung towards Bowser. The stage was now in the shape of a Star, not a circle, and maneuvering was more difficult. Bowser tried to avoid falling off the edge again and stayed routed to the spot, breathing fire at the plumber whenever he approached. A couple times the Dragon-Koopa would jump up in the air and send out more shockwaves; he even managed to clip Mario a couple more times. Each time the waves hit their mark Bowser would charge, Mario dodged him both times, and on the second pass Bowser fell off the platform again.

Both fighters were getting worn out. Mario's jumped looked a bit sluggish, and if Bowser hadn't been worn out as well, he could have finished the plumber off before long. But, things _were_ looking up. More of Bowser's flame attacks were hitting the human, and Mario was having problems dodging Bowser's shockwaves. Bowselta was starting to feel confident in her hard-working mate, but then something terrible happened: one of Bowser's flares contained not only fire, but coins. Mario grabbed them and instantly his power seemed to return.

"No!" gasped Bowselta, turning rigid in her chair.

"How could this happen?" cried Kammy.

"The Stars," growled Bowselta. "Those stupid Power Stars did this!"

Her voice echoed around the Entrance Hallway as Bowser's own roar of anger filtered thorough the video feed. He saw that Mario's power had been restored, and instead of risking sending him another healing flame, Bowser threw caution to the wind and charged.

"No!" cried Bowselta and Kammy at the same time – they knew it was a mistake.

Mario smirked and ran at Bowser, leaping up over his head. Bowser turned and snapped at Mario's feet as they passed over his face, but by taking his eyes off the ground, Bowser tripped. He skidded on his belly to the edge of the platform but quickly got up and swiped his claw at Mario, who had jumped in close to try and seize his tail. The plumber dodged the attack, but the movement destabilized Bowser and he teetered at the brink of the stage.

Mario leapt into the air and came down on top of Bowser, his feet leading the way, ready to crush the Dragon-Koopa's face. Bowser let lose a massive flare to protect himself, but once more coins showered Mario.

Bowser roared and pulled himself away from the edge, and Mario landed where the Koopa King had been moments before, sprung forward and punched Bowser in the snout. The Koopa roared and swiped once more at the human, but Mario nimbly dodged; unlike Bowser, he was no longer tired and worn out. The plumber landed at the edge of the platform opposite Bowser and taunted him. The Dragon-Koopa lost it and jumped up, sending shockwaves over at Mario. The plumber easily dodged them, but Bowser was charging in their wake, clipping Mario and shoving him backwards towards the abyss.

It looked like victory had come at last, but then the Stars meddled again. A mysterious light surrounded Mario and he burst forwards, away from the unfathomable fall, sending Bowser flying back to the middle of the platform. He landed on his back and struggled to right himself before Mario got to him. The Dragon-Koopa managed to twist his back around and flip sideways onto his belly, aiming a flare over his shoulder as he went, missing Mario by a long shot. Panic-stricken, Bowser made to push himself to his feet but Mario seized his tail with his gloved hands before the Koopa King had a chance to get up.

Bowser howled in anger as Mario flung him around and around and sent him flying into another mine. The explosion was the largest yet, and instead of being blown back to the platform, Bowser was consumed by the fireball and sent spiraling down through the endless purple sky.

"No! Bowser!" screamed Bowselta. "Ahhh! NO! We were SO close!"

"Oh those horrid Stars!" lamented Kammy. "Why can't the Spirits just let us be?"

"I'll make them pay!" growled Bowselta, watching in anger as Mario picked up a giant Power Star and flew around the platform with a Wing Cap. "I'll get rid of Mario if it's the last thing I do! And I'll make the Star Spirits regret _ever_ taking his side!"

"Oh poor Bowser, he was this close to winning, _this close_," moaned Kammy, holding up her finger and thumb less than an inch apart.

"We have to contact Kamek, make sure he's getting the troops outta there and looking for Bowser before-" but Bowselta was cut off, gasping as a burst of pain shot through her body, forcing her to double over.

"Your Irateness? Wha-" began Kammy, but Bowselta didn't hear her as another painful cramp coursed through her midriff.

"No… Not now…" she moaned, crumpling to the ground as Kammy called for help.

-xxx-

Fifteen minutes later, Bowselta was sitting up on her bed, a glowing white egg in her hands. The kid that would hatch from the egg would have the same Near-Immortality as Bowser; he had always wanted one of the kids to be like him, and now he'd get his wish. He'd probably even want to name the little one after himself, Bowser Jr., and after all the King of the Koopas had been through recently, Bowselta was perfectly fine with that.

The rest of the Koopalings had been present for the egg-laying, since Bowser himself was still lost in the Sky World and couldn't be there to offer moral support to Bowselta. Still, even with her kids around, the ordeal had seemed more arduous than the ones in the past without her loving husband.

Bowselta gazed down at the egg. It felt quite warm, and the fluids that had covered it when it first came out had evaporated. There was a hollow smile on Bowselta's face; it had been a long stressful and painful day, filled with sadness, anger, and now happiness, as well as about a hundred other emotions in between. That morning Bowselta had been hoping to add the Mushroom Kingdom to the Koopan empire, now all she wanted was Bowser to be there with her, safe and sound.

-xxxxx-

But Bowser did not return that day. Kamek got the remaining troops back to Dark Land, but had been unable to recover the King of the Koopas. Bowselta was furious and organized an extensive search of Sky World and any other dimension Bowser could have been sucked into. But the hours dragged by, and as the sun rose the next day, the king was still missing.

Bowselta hated that she couldn't help find him, but she couldn't perform the complex magic necessary to comb the outer reaches of reality. She soon found she couldn't sit by and watch as Kamek, Kammy and a few other select Magikoopas did so themselves. Instead, she went to the library and searched through the many volumes, frantically looking for a clue as to how her mate could be brought back to her before it was too late, before he was lost forever.

Unfortunately no book was of use – Kammy and Bowselta had already read through each one and the Queen of the Koopas knew they didn't hold the answer to her woes. But then, reading a small passage, Bowselta got an idea, and though it wasn't a way she could save Bowser this time, but how she could save him in the future.

She sprinted back up the stairs to the tallest tower where the Magikoopas were clustered amongst the magical objects of Kammy's study. Kammy herself was taking a small break, drinking down an energy-restoring potion instead of food. Bowselta was relieved at her good luck, since Kammy took half the amount of such breaks as her counterparts – she wanted to find Bowser as much as Bowselta herself did.

"Your Energeticness!" remarked Kammy, realizing Bowselta had run all the way from the basement. "What is it? Did you find something that will help us?"

Bowselta shook her head sadly. "No, we've already read all the stuff on inter-dimensional travel that we possibly could down there."

"Then wha-"

"But I've found something else – something that could get rid of the Mario bros. _forever_," announced Bowselta, cutting Kammy off.

"What? But, what is it?" gasped the old Magikoopa.

"It's hard to explain. It might not even exist, but I have to find out," said Bowselta breathlessly. "And I need to do it before we get Bowser back. If I'm right, it'll be sure to brighten up his spirits, and if I'm wrong then I won't have to worry about dashing any hope it might cause if I left while he was here and knew what I was after."

"Wait, are you saving you're leaving _now_?" said Kammy. She couldn't believe her ears: Bowselta had never been this spontaneous before – she had never even been this _exited_ about something before. She was practically glowing with energy, just like her egg…

"Yes, I already sent word to the Hanger Bay for the _Mark __II_ to be prepped for launch."

"But you _can't_!" insisted Kammy. "You can't run off in a moment of crisis! Wait until Bowser-"

"I already told you, I need to do this before he's back! The kingdom will be fine without me around. You, Kamek and maybe even Ludwig can handle anything that pops up – not that anything will. You know what it's like after a failed attack: everyone's too busy recovering to do anything, and no one would have the gall to attack the kingdom while we're down."

"But-"

"Kammy, please. It's _killing_ me to just sit on my hands and wait while you guys search for Bowser," pled Bowselta. "I _need_ to do something. And if I'm right, think how happy he'll be!"

"But what about the egg?" said Kammy. "It glows – he'll be ecstatic-"

"Yes, but he'll also feel horrible that he wasn't there for me while I was laying it," said Bowselta firmly. "I'm sorry Kammy, but I'm going and there's nothing you can say to stop me."

Kammy sighed. "Fine."

"Thanks," smiled Bowselta. "I met the kids on the way up and said goodbye already. And don't worry, it won't take me long: I'll be back by tonight at the latest, depending on which way the winds are blowing."

"All right," nodded Kammy, as Bowselta turned and started running down the stairs. "Be careful, okay!" called the old Magikoopa.

"Don't worry!" echoed back Bowselta's voice. "It's just a little plane ride! I'll be fine!"

-xxxxx-

The flight was quite uneventful, and Bowselta soon got bored at staring at the ocean. It reminded her a bit of the Dinosaur Land catastrophe, but this time she knew she couldn't find Bowser on the peaceful waters. This time, she was looking for something else entirely: the fabled portal through which the humans came to the Mushroom World.

It was described as a swirling vortex in the water – a giant whirlpool that could suck up any ship that neared it; sometimes it crushed the vessels, sometimes it let them pass more-or-less intact to the next dimension. The older records were quite vague about the location of the portal, but when Bowselta was looking for information in the library about finding someone lost in another dimension, she stumbled upon a very interesting paragraph concerning other mysterious disappearances.

Apparently there was an area in the ocean that was often overcast when all else was clear, and was said to develop choppy water, strong underwater currents, and strange magnetic fields at a moment's notice. Here, a number of mysterious disappearances had taken place over the centuries, and mariners generally avoided the area these days. When Bowselta was reading about the arrival of the humans she checked all sorts of records concerning the ocean, and had come across this area before. Apparently the stories of it being overcast all the time were exaggerated, and many people who travelled through the area found it to be as sunny as the rest of the ocean. Likewise, the choppy water claim had been proven false by travelers. The strong currents were part of a worldwide chain of 'underwater rivers' that circulated the globe, and were perfectly normal. New research had even shown that some geologic features (primarily iron deposits) in the crust below the area were responsible for the strange magnetic forces.

Also, while unaccountable disappearances _had_ taken place there in the past, nothing had happened there recently and it was just superstition keeping people away from the area. Other places in the ocean had claimed large numbers of ships, but when the wreckage were recovered it was determined that natural phenomenon (like hurricanes), and pilot error (such as one famous mid-Oho Onceanic collision) were to blame for their demises. True, no wreckage had been found in the area Bowselta was investigating, but that was most likely a result of the ocean currents sweeping the debris away. Indeed, many unidentifiable wrecks had been found 'downstream' of the area, and quite a few of them seemed to fit the descriptions of ships lost in the area.

As a result of all this evidence, Bowselta never thought twice about the area again – until she read the passage. It said that interdimensional portals could appear and disappear at random, sometimes vanishing for years on end, leaving no trace of their existence. It pointed out that the number of wrecks recovered didn't equal the numbers of ships lost, and cited recent reports of strange weather in the area (the most notorious being the sudden formation and dissipation of clouds). While the passage didn't make any connections to the old stories of the humans' arrival, Bowselta just felt it was the missing piece of the puzzle. Somehow, she _knew_ the portal lead to the human's homeworld, Earth.

And best of all, the book gave Bowselta an exact area to search, unlike the other readings which gave either long lists of possible locations, or historical accounts that gave vague directions based largely on the ever-rearranging stars. Now that she had a place to go, it was no-longer guesswork and speculation to Bowselta, and as her plane flew deeper and deeper into the notorious area, she felt more and more confident she was right. She wasn't exactly sure why she felt this way, but she couldn't shake her feeling of excitement as she looked up at the cloudy sky or down at the pitching waves.

Bowselta checked the map on the _Mark __II_'s display screen; she was right at the heart of the area. She increased the plane's altitude slightly and used the hovering engines to dip its front end forward so she could peer over the nose at the water below. It was dark green in the shadows cast by the blackening clouds above. Bowselta racked the choppy surface and tried to look beyond into the water's depths, searching for some sort of sign that there was more to the water than meets the eye.

Suddenly, as she leaned forward out of her seat and over the control board to get a better look at something that caught her eye in the surf, her Paratroopa shell charm started to glow a brilliant blue. Bowselta gasped and seized the trinket hanging in space beneath her neck. It had never glowed before and it shouldn't be now, but as Bowselta held it up for a better look the _Mark __II_ gave a sickening lurch. Bowselta dropped the charm and it fell back against her chest as she seized the _Mark __II_'s controls to stabilize the plane, but it was no use and the plane was sucked backwards into the torrent of water that had just risen from the churning waters beneath.

There was a booming explosion and the sound of screeching metal as the oceanic tornado ripped the _Mark __II_'s wings off. The front of the plane was forced downwards and Bowselta caught a glimpse of the newly formed whirlpool beneath her before the plane was totally immersed in the waterspout. The fuselage was viciously spun and Bowselta heard more screeches as the metal hull was twisted apart. There was an explosion to her right as the circuitry of the starboard engine became exposed to the water, letting it pour into the plane's interior through the massive hole left behind.

The lights in the _Mark __II_ went out and the alarms went silent as Bowselta struggled against the raging water. Suddenly gravity seemed to disappear as the _Mark __II_ was sucked downwards by the waterspout, being driven down into the heart of the whirlpool. The water was raging worse than ever, and the blue light pouring from Bowselta' charm was disorienting as it whipped around her line of sight.

She fought against the riptide and clutched onto the steering wheel for dear life, knowing full well that if she was exposed to the whirling water without the plane's protective hull she'd be crushed. Then suddenly a brilliant white light filled the flooding cabin through the windows. Bowselta didn't have time to wonder at the light as the _Mark __II_ began shaking worse than ever.

The plane seemed to be ripping itself apart at the seams and as the windshield in front of Bowselta shattered and as the wave of incoming water forced the shards of glass deep into Bowselta's skin she felt her grip fail her. She swirled around the cabin, smashing against the chairs that had been ripped from their foundations, feeling the jagged bits of hull slice at her skin and seeing nothing but blinding white light refracted in all directions by the raging waters. Then suddenly it all stopped, and Bowselta's world went black.

-xxxxx-

As it turned out, Bowser got himself home with no aid from any of the Magikoopas. He had been thrown from the Sky World and landed broken and half-dead in the mountains of Dark Land, far from any villages. He staggered through the volcanoes and made his way back to Koopa Castle five days after his latest loss to Mario.

He was greeted by a predictably tearful Kammy, his confused and strangely sorrowful children, and an unusually smug Kamek. Kammy led Bowser up to the Incubation Room and showed him his egg, glowing brightly in its incubation chamber. Bowser was overjoyed that the egg had turned out alright after all, and despite Bowselta's energy problem, had turned out so powerful; the child that'd hatch from it would be impervious to most forms of death like Bowser – he too would be safe against Mario.

But there was something wrong, and when Bowser asked about Bowselta Kammy sadly told him that the Koopa Queen hadn't been seen for nearly three days. The old Magikoopa told Bowser that Bowselta had went on a reconnaissance mission to scout out a way to stop the Mario bros. once and for all. She said she'd be back that same day, but she never returned.

Bowser was horrified and dispatched fleets of search and rescue teams out over the sea and throughout the Koopa Kingdom. He even sent covert operatives into the Mushroom Kingdom, Sarasaland, The Alligator Archipelago, Jewelry Land, the Beanbean Kingdom and even the Waffle Kingdom. Bowser had the Magikoopas that had been looking for him start combing the other dimensions for Bowselta and sent submarines across the ocean floor in the direction the _Mark __II_ had been flying when it got outside the Koopa Kingdom's radar array. He did everything in his power to find his lost mate, but as the days turned to weeks and the weeks into months, Bowser accepted the crushing truth. Bowselta was gone.

The King of the Koopas was broken hearted. Why had she left him? She said she wasn't disappointed in his loses, but had the Mushroom Castle failure been the straw that broke the camel's back? Had she left because he wasn't there for her egg-laying? Because he had become obsessed with crushing Mario? Did she think the plumber's death meant more to Bowser than his own family? There were so many possibilities, but Kammy continued to assure Bowser that Bowselta had every intention on coming back. The old Magikoopa had been the last one to talk to the Queen of the Koopas, and she knew if Bowselta planned to leave forever, she would have seen it in her face. The Koopalings also pointed out the flaws in Bowser's theory. If Bowselta had grown tired of him, she would have simply killed him and taken the throne. And even if she didn't have that in her, she would have at least taken the Koopalings with her, instead of leaving them with (in what would've been in her opinion) their disgraceful father.

Bowser was thankful for their words, but he knew that were all just as confused as he was. If Bowselta meant to come back to them there was the question of why she hadn't. What could have been so powerful as to stop her? The submarines and search and rescue teams hadn't found any traces of the _Mark __II_ on the ocean floor or on any island. It and Bowselta had simply vanished without a trace into thin air, and no one had any idea why, where or how that could have happened.

Kammy knew Bowselta got the idea in the library while researching inter-dimensional travels, but none of the books on top of the Koopa Queen's piles offered them any clues as to where she had gone. There weren't even any books missing so they couldn't check that either (if she had taken the book as reference, they could have ordered a new copy and found out what was so important). Bowser once again started suspecting Bowselta didn't want to be found; she had been the Shadow Thief after all, and disappearing was second nature to her.

Kammy refused to believe that was what happened, but Wendy thought it was plausible. Of all the Koopalings, she had liked their mother the least, preferring her father and how he spoiled her night and day. Sure she was sad that Bowselta was gone, but it didn't affect her nearly as much as it did the others. Roy also dealt with the news with a hardened heart, and instead of sharing in the others' wishful belief that Bowselta was still alive, he soon started telling himself she was dead. He felt it was easier than not knowing and wondering about it night after night, and soon both Iggy and Morton joined him in that belief.

However, Ludwig, Lemmy and Larry refused to give up hope. The former two had known their mother better than the rest of the Koopalings since they were the oldest and knew her the longest, and Larry had loved her as much as any of the others could have. Those three had been Bowselta's favorites, and like Kammy, they believed she was still out there, unable to return for now, but still alive.

Bowser felt Bowselta was out there too, but not knowing for sure ate away at him night and day. He took everything that reminded him of the Queen of the Koopas out of his room and out of the hallways, locking them in a special storeroom in the castle bowels, in the old section near the library. He hid away the few pictures he had of her, and set her beautiful flute on top of the crates on its stand, locking it and the painful memories away.

But the real troubles started when Bowser Jr. hatched and started wondering who his mother was. Bowser had forbidden the older Koopalings to tell their brother about Bowselta, saying he wanted to be the one to share the sad news. But when Junior popped the question, Bowser faltered. He had grown up without a mother or a father, and even if Junior had half the set, Bowser knew it would hurt him to hear his mother had left when he was an egg. Bowser couldn't tell the kid he might never meet Bowselta, that no one knew if she was alive or dead, or that it could have been his own fault his mate left.

So instead, Bowser told Junior his mother was Princess Peach. It was far-fetched, yes, but Bowser didn't know what to do. Junior was too young to realize Bowser and Peach were too anatomically different to couple properly, not to mention the fact that mammals and dragons were far too different genetically to even make hybrids. Still, the kid was skeptical. If Peach was his mother, then why did she live far away? Bowser's answer was Mario: it was Mario (not him) who stole Peach away; it was Mario who split up the family (which was sorta true); it was Mario who was the evil one (which he was as far as the Koopas were concerned).

So Junior accepted Bowser's story and asked if he could help save his 'Mama' Peach, and Bowser said "yes". He knew he had promised Bowselta not to send the Koopalings out to get Mario, but Junior hadn't been around then – he hadn't been part of the agreement (besides, being a Near-Immortal like Bowser, Junior didn't have to worry about dying as much as his siblings). The older kids said it was semantics and grumbled about how Junior got special treatment just because he looked like Bowser and had his energy condition. But despite their complaints, Bowser refused to let them fight.

It got worse when they did actually get their break, being sent to attack Mario and Luigi by the evil Bean witch Cackletta (who had been possessing Bowser's body at the time), who felt Bowser Jr. was too young to pose a serious threat the plumbers. Even though they got beaten once again, the older Koopalings enjoyed their little taste of adventure and begged for more, but Bowser refused. Instead, he waited for a few months (still trying to employ his complex Peach-kidnapping/kingdom invading plans all the while) for Junior to grow up a bit more; and then took him on his latest scheme over on scenic Isle Delfino.

Bowser had been a bit worried about what Peach would do when she met Junior, but to his delight, she didn't contest Junior's claim that she was his Mama. Bowser knew that Peach knew just as well as he that they had never had a child together, but he suspected she didn't want to crush Junior's spirits by telling him he was wrong. Peach was so nice: she had constantly offered Bowser friendship, always hoping she could reform his evil ways with nothing but the goodness of her heart. He made it clear that it was futile – that he was an "evil" Koopa and proud of it, but that didn't stop her. Peach dutifully invited Bowser to almost every sports event or kart race held in the Mushroom Kingdom, despite the fact that nobody else wanted him there (he even overheard her defending him when they complained about his driving one time).

The fact she had been as kind to Junior lifted Bowser's spirits. Because, as he got to know a bit more about Peach, the more he was starting to like her. And while Bowselta's memory still haunted Bowser's dreams, he was starting to have feelings for the Mushroom Princess too. It made him feel a bit dirty, like he was cheating on his loyal wife, but as the years went by, Bowser accepted the most likely fact that he'd never see Bowselta again. Of course he'd most likely never see Peach return his affection either, but he was confident that if she could find a place in her heart for Bowser Jr., there might be room for Bowser Sr. too.

But as always, Bowser lost to Mario on the tropical island and Peach was taken from him, back to her kingdom. Fortunately, neither Bowser nor Junior sustained any real damage – just a couple bumps, which quickly healed over. What took Bowser by surprise was that Junior knew all along that Peach wasn't his mother, he just wanted an excuse to fight Mario (after hearing his siblings talk about it so often). Bowser was so proud of his youngest son, but steeled himself for when Junior asked him who his _real_ mother was, and why his father had lied about her. But he never did, and was merely content with tagging along with Bowser on more of his kidnapping schemes.

Of course, Bowser's more recent plots to snatch Peach away weren't at all like his older attempts; most of the time it merely involved him bursting through her window and carrying her away. It quickly became such a routine event that the princess just went quietly. She soon found out Bowser liked her by reading his diary during one of his few elaborate undertakings (in which he and Kammy stole the Star Rod and got some revenge on the Star Spirits for all the meddling they had done to Bowser's plots in the past). As Bowser feared, Peach didn't return his love in the slightest, but she seemed perfectly willing to forge a friendship with the Koopa King, and continued to invite him (and often Junior as well) to social events of all sorts.

The seven older Koopalings however, didn't find this very fair. They were just as good as sports and kart racing as their baby brother, if not better, yet Bowser refused to take them. Junior had pushed them out of the spotlight and for that they would never forgive him. Bowser eventually saw their malcontent, and built them a bunch of hotels, but even that got botched up. The hotels were built in the buffer zone between the Koopa and Mushroom Kingdoms – they were legal, but soon drew Peach's suspicion, and she came to investigate in person. Bitter that he was left out of the plot, Junior sabotaged his siblings, telling them to kidnap the princess and making it look like they were actually invading the Kingdom. Needless to say, Mario and Luigi pummeled the seven Koopalings and Bowser (who had been overseeing the completion of Iggy's castle when the whole thing started), and saved Peach.

While he never did figure out exactly what happened, Bowser learned that Junior had some part of the ill-doings, and as punishment he left him out of his next scheme. What set this one apart was that he captured Mario and Luigi right off the bat, only to have them both rescued by his beloved Princess Peach (fortunately Bowser decided at the last minute not to use the Koopalings in that attack and they were spared another butt-wupping).

It would have been especially humiliating too lose to the princess had Bowser not been married to Bowselta for over a decade, and was therefore used to females as power figures, but the reminder of his estranged wife hurt him. He was hopelessly torn between Bowselta's memory and Peach's warmth: between a love that was lost and a love that would never be.

-xxxxx-

The water was still swirling but the light was gone; even the charm had stopped glowing. It took Bowselta's eyes a moment to readjust to the blackness, and she saw that the entire bridge of the _Mark __II_ had been smashed and twisted apart. At first Bowselta couldn't tell which way was up or down, then she noticed a pool of air clustered against the back right corner of the cockpit. She swam up and pushed her face into the air. It was leaking fast and Bowselta took a deep breath of what was left, almost draining the reservoir completely.

She dived back down and swam into the open water through a shattered window and started making her way to the surface, following the ghostly silver bubbles rising from the smashed hulk of the _Mark __II_. As she swam, Bowselta took one fleeting glimpse of her faithful plane. Both its wings had been ripped from the hull, as had the tail fins and huge sections of hull. The metal framework had been twisted in places and the starboard engine was gone, Bowselta couldn't see the port engine, but she doubted it was much better.

Bowselta turned away and kept rising with the bubbles. It was still inky black, and she wondered how far down the whirlpool had pulled her plane. Her legs pounded the water furiously and her tail swept back and forth between them, her progress was as fast as the bubbles, but still no light appeared ahead of her. The minutes dragged by; they seemed like hours. Bowselta knew that most species would get deadly nitrogen bubbles in their blood from rising so fast, but she knew she would survive the bends. She would have preferred to avoid the pain, but she couldn't afford to slow down and let her body grow accustomed to the changes in pressure. Her lungs were screaming for air before she knew it, and her legs ached as the muscles started running out of oxygen, but still no light filtered down through the water.

_No_, thought Bowselta. _I will not die here, not like this_. She forced herself to go on – one last, desperate burst of speed. Then without warning she broke the surface. She gulped in the air and fought against the ensuing dizziness. Wherever she was, it was nighttime, and as she gazed up at the stars, she realized none of the constellations were familiar to her. Not that that really mattered, since she had entered the waterspout during the day and she knew hours had not passed since she went under.

Without a doubt, she had been transported to another dimension, and was most likely on Earth. Bowselta looked around at the surrounding water; a little ways away a piece of the _Mark __II_ was floating. She swam over, ignoring the soreness in her muscles, the pains in her joints, and the stinging cuts covering her body. She pulled herself onto the block of wood that she knew had been part of some wing scaffolding; her weight dipped most of the board underwater, and only her upper torso fit on the raft. But it was good enough for her, and she let her body go limp, resting her head down against the wood; the water lapping gently across her chin and the blood trickling down her face from the cuts caused by the _Mark __II_'s shattered windscreen.

She sighed, it was not supposed to happen this way. She wasn't supposed to be sucked through the portal _herself_ – she was not supposed to be stranded in the human world with no way of getting home. Bowselta looked down at the Paratroopa shell charm resting on the wood beside her face. Why did it glow? How had it made this happen to her? It was just a hunk of decorated rock that had been passed down through her family for generations. The only reason it was worth anything to anyone was the fact that it was so old and – in Bowselta's case – carried sentimental value. It wasn't supposed to be linked to a portal to the human world. It wasn't supposed to _glow_.

Bowselta's mind buzzed with questions, but all that really mattered to her now was survival. Since Dragon-Koopas could live indefinitely without food or water (using their magical energy to sustain themselves) she wouldn't have to worry about dying of thirst or hunger; instead, she had to worry about staying adrift forever. A hurricane could come along any second as far as she knew, or the current could take her to the frigid north or south poles. Bowselta could only hope she'd come across a ship of some sort, or catch sight of an island she could swim to.

Then she could worry about everything else. Because no matter how long it took her, Bowselta would find a way to get back to the Mushroom World and back to Bowser and the Koopalings. She had to – there was no question about it. She couldn't bear to never see Bowser or the kids again, to leave them wondering about what happened to her, to leave them fighting a neverending battle with Mario and Luigi. No, Bowselta would return to them, to the ones she loved, even if it took a lifetime…


	8. Epilogue

**A/N: Now for one last foray into the present. If you have any issues with the story just put them in the reviews and I'll be sure to get back to you on it. And remember, this story was just the forerunner of a Koopa-centric trilogy. The first story is called **_**Super Koopas**_**, enjoy!**

Bowser slowly felt his consciousness slipping back to him. But this time things were different: there were no frantic voices filling the air, and no pain. Although, his shell _did_ feel weird, and why was he lying on his back? He never lay on his back unless he was lounging in mud; otherwise the spikes on his shell would just tip him over. It was a very strange feeling, and Bowser tried shifting his back to rectify that, but he couldn't move.

The Koopa King's eyes flew open. He was staring at the ceiling of the Medical Wing, and to his relief, it was in focus. He twisted his neck around and looked down at his body. He appeared to be lying on a slab of solid concrete; his shell was implanted into the mass.

"What the? What's going on!" he demanded, trying to push himself up with his arms.

"Fazzer!" "King Dad!" "Papa!" "Daddy!" came a chorus of voices from Bowser's left.

He moved his head and saw all eight Koopalings jumping up from their seats next to his bed, clustering around and babbling incoherently.

"We were really worried!"

"How do ya feel?"

"Ludwig told us everything that happened!"

"Junior nearly cried!"

"Did not, Roy!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did-"

"Kids! Kids!" shouted Bowser. "One at a time, please!"

They got the message, and after a moment of silence in which they waited for someone else to make the first move, they all started yapping at the same time again.

"Quiet!" bellowed Bowser. "This isn't working! So I'll speak, okay?"

"Yeah." "Okay." "Sure." "Whatever," they mumbled.

"Good," said Bowser. He was already feeling tired – from that _tiny_ little bit of yelling. He looked around at the Koopalings, all staring back, waiting for him to say something. He looked over at Ludwig, his face was perfectly healed again: not a speck of potion in sight and no scars to show he was ever hurt. That should've taken a while to happen, and that made Bowser wonder. "So… how long've I been out?"

"Two days!" said Morton before anyone else got a chance to speak. "Well, around two days. More like two and a sixth. Or is that right? How many days and fractions of days is fifty-four hours? Hmm, that'll be fifty-four minus two day's forty-eight hours, leaving six hours, but that's a quarter, so you've actually been in a coma for two and a quarter days! Two bad it wasn't two and a third, 'cause then it'd be luckier, or would it? I know eight is lucky, but are thirds? I dunno, I think I did read somewhere that-"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Roy.

Bowser smiled faintly. "Thank's Roy."

"No prob, Pa," shrugged the burly Koopaling.

"So, two days in a coma huh?" said Bowser.

"_Two and a quarter_," corrected Morton, being met with ominous warning glares from his surrounding siblings.

"Ugh, whatever," groaned Bowser, trying to move again. "Man, why's my back in this stupid block?"

A couple Koopalings opened their mouths to speak, but a gleeful cry from behind them cut them off. "Your Consciousness!"

"Huh? Kammy?" called Bowser.

"Yes Your Perceptiveness," said the aging Magikoopa, pushing through the crowd of Koopalings and coming into view. "Oh, it's so good to see you awake! We had no idea how long it'd take you to pull out of that coma!"

"Yeah," shrugged Bowser. "What happened anyway? What's with the concrete slab?"

"Oh, well you see, Your Luckiness, when Mario blew you out of the window you cracked your shell when you hit the ground and it caused an imbalance in your energy reservoir."

"And that's… bad?" ventured Bowser.

"Very," said Iggy. "It made it so your magical energy and your physical being couldn't coexist harmoniously."

"Huh?" said Bowser, not understanding.

Ludwig sighed. "He means your energy and your body started vorking against each uzzer. Instead of your energy indefinitely keeping you alive, it just started leaking out, and if enough of it had escaped, you vould've died."

"Oh," said Bowser.

"We managed to stop the flow," said Kammy. "But it was very difficult since your energy overwhelmed most of out magic. We had to use lots of archaic measures, such as that concrete slab. You're not gonna be able to move your back for at least a week while the shell fuses back together."

"But I though the shell wasn't one big piece – just a bunch of plates that slid over each other, with a filmy-skin thing overtop, that's why it can change shape when I move," said Bowser, surprising himself that he actually remembered that sorta thing.

Kammy was a bit taken aback too. "Well, yes, you're… right… But when you cracked the shell you actually cracked a few layers of plates and they couldn't slide against each other properly and got more crunched up when your back was moved. It was a miracle your spine wasn't affected too."

"I guess I _am_ lucky, huh," chuckled Bowser dryly.

"Very, Your Sarcasticness," grinned Kammy.

"I wasn't being sarcastic, I was agreeing with what you called me earlier, 'My Luckiness', remember?"

"Of course I remember," huffed Kammy. "I'm not senile, you know!"

"Yeah, you're just unbelievably old," snorted Bowser.

"Yes, and you should be thankful for that, otherwise I may not've been able to keep you alive! I mean, sure the _Medikoopas_ were fine with all your minor injuries and all the blood loss and pain and all that, but they were useless at first – I practically did everything about your shell myself!" exclaimed Kammy, she looked quite frazzled. "I really should give those Magikoopas some tutoring lessons – maybe in exchange for some pointers of their own, then I could officially call myself a Medikoopa too, or at least a part-time one."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," nodded Bowser. "Then next time I go up against Mario you can heal me right then and there and I can keep fighting and wup his sorry little plumber's butt!"

"Yes, well, let's save those plans for later, shall we," said Kammy as Bowser gave a monstrous yawn. "Right now you're in no fit state for anything of the sort. You should really go back to sleep."

"Wait," said Bowser, turning to his eldest son. "I've thought about what you said, and you're right."

Ludwig stared at Bowser in shock. "_Vat?_"

"You're right," repeated Bowser. "I haven't been fair to you, to any of you," he said, looking around at the other Koopalings. "But you have to understand, I _had_ to do what I did, it was too painful to do anything else. You've all dealt with her in the ways which are easiest for you, and I know you all miss her in one way or another," at this his gaze flickered to Wendy for an instant before locking his eyes on Ludwig's and continuing. "I should've been there for you nonetheless, and I'm sorry."

The seven older Koopalings looked at each other uneasily. They knew what their father was talking about and had not been expecting it. He never talked about their mother to them, not since the day he gave up hope of seeing her again all those years ago. And if that hadn't been unusual enough, Bowser was _apologizing_ for his silence. He _never_ apologized for anything short of landing the kids in hospital after a brutal Mario attack – not that that had happened in a while.

Bowser Jr., on the other hand, just looked around at his siblings in confusion. He had fought and lost to Mario plenty of times, and a couple times Bowser did say sorry for dragging him into those situations. He had also showed remorse at plenty of other things he did to Junior, like lying about 'Mama' Peach; so the youngest Koopaling didn't find the apology out of the ordinary at all. What had him confused was _why_ Bowser was apologizing. But as he failed to catch any of his older bothers' or sister's eyes, he realized there was only one way he could find out. "Uh, Papa, whacha talkin' about?"

"Nothing," stepped-in Kammy. "Your father's delirious, he only just woke up from a coma after all."

Ludwig shot her a scathing look but Bowser shook his head at the oldest Koopaling: now wasn't the time to tell Junior about his mother.

"Now," continued Kammy. "As I said before, His Discombobulatedness needs to get some more sleep. You can all talk later, now, _out_."

The Koopalings looked sullenly at Kammy as she pointed a commanding finger towards the door. They looked back at Bowser. "She's right," he sighed. "You kids could probably get some sleep too – you all look terrible."

"We've been worried about you," said Wendy.

"Yeah, _really_ worried," nodded Lemmy.

"Well, I'm fine now. But I am pretty tired, and I doubt I could stay awake for much longer anyway," said Bowser truthfully.

"There, see, now _get going_!" insisted Kammy.

"All right, all right!"

"Jeeze, _so_ pushy."

"Stupid old bat."

"We're going, we're going!"

"No need to get huffy."

"Who died an' made you queen?"

"I still don't sink zis is fair."

"Yeah." Grumbled the Koopalings as they shuffled out of the room, closing the door behind them.

Bowser turned to Kammy. "Thanks for the assist, Granny."

"You're in no condition to talk to Junior about all that. But you _do_ know you'll _have_ to sooner or later… And even if you don't, he's gonna find out about it one way or another," said Kammy.

"I know," sighed Bowser. "It's just- it's _so_ hard."

"If you miss her so much, it helps to talk about it," said Kammy, sitting down.

"I though you said I was too tired," smirked Bowser.

"I didn't mean _we_ should talk about it – not here and now anyway, Your Outrageousness!"

"It's not _that_ crazy of an idea," said Bowser, offended. "We talked about it when she first disappeared."

"And never again," grumbled Kammy.

"You've never been in love, you don't know what it's like," sighed Bowser, closing his eyes wearily. Kammy said nothing, painful memories of her doomed marriage flicking back to the surface for a moment, but as the silence stretched on, she wrenched her thoughts back to the present. She wondered if Bowser had fallen back asleep when: "he's a lot like her, you know."

"Who?" asked Kammy.

"Ludwig. I'm seeing more and more of her in him every day. In all of them, really… Even Wendy," said Bowser airily.

"They're growing up, especially Ludwig," said Kammy.

"They're still kids," said Bowser, keeping his eyes closed. "They deserve more than me."

"That's not true, you're a great father-"

"I wish she was back," interrupted Bowser, opening his eyes and looking at over at his advisor. "I miss her so much Kammy. I've been trying to forget her but I can't. Peach is great and having her around makes things easier for me; the kids like her too, especially Junior, but it's not the same."

Kammy gazed back at Bowser; his eyes seemed brighter than usual. But it wasn't because of the flames of anger that often danced within them, but an emotion Bowser was so good at hiding away. "Your Sadness-"

"'_Sadness_'? Try 'Miserableness'," scoffed Bowser, closing his eyes. "I just wish I could see her again, I wish I knew she was safe."

"I'm sure she is," said Kammy softly.

"Thanks," sighed Bowser after a moment, smiling slightly. "For everything, ya old hag."

Kammy returned the smile; the Koopa Kings' words meant more to her than all the magic in the world. "You're welcome, Your Grievedness."

However her words went unheard, as Bowser had fallen back to sleep. But Kammy didn't leave as the Koopalings had: she was content to silently sit and watch over the Koopa King. Because in his dreams, Kammy knew he could finally find his long lost queen, and she wouldn't let anything steal that away from him, for it was all Bowser had left of Bowselta Koopa.

The End


End file.
